This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Saturday, December 30, 2017


Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer
Well, can you put your hands in your head? Oh no

My understanding is a dreamer is someone born in another country that was brought here to the USA when they were little tykes and their parents decided to break the law and illegally come to the United States.  They have grown up in the USA, went to school here, and many have no memory of their birth country.  This is the only country and life they know.

Is it fair to send them back?  No, it's not.

But Dreamers are all anyone talks about when it comes to immigration, and there is a reason for that - to cover up the other 70% of people here illegally.

See, most people would agree with letting dreamers stay and get citizenship - it's the others that the majority of Americans will say 'send them back home' and the amnesty people don't want this conversation.

I said, "Far out, what a day, a year, a life it is"
You know, well you know you had it comin' to you
Now there's not a lot I can do

The problem is not dreamers, the problem goes much deeper.  First, let's talk about those parents who came over.  They've lived here 20, 25, 30 years now, illegally.  Do we send them home?

Frankly, I'd say yes.  Just because you get away with a crime for 25 years doesn't mean you get a free pass for it and the future.  Congrats on getting away with it, now take what cash and stuff you got and go home.

Is that cold?  Is that fair?  The problem with this issue is no matter what is done, it won't be fair, to someone.

Then we got the pregnant lady stepping over the border while in labor and having a kid in the USA.  Or getting on a plane headed to the US and even if popping the kid over the Pacific when it lands in the USA that makes it a US citizen.  Most other countries got rid of this years ago, but good ol' USA just keeps handing that little baby it's US citizenship.  Of course, the mother gets to stay and here is where it gets real good.  Now they can get the dad, siblings, both sets of the parents parents, the grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins all get this front of the line invite to come on down and move into the USA.

Can't do anything about this other than no longer allow it to happen.

If I could see something
You can see anything you want, boy
If I could be someone
You can be anyone, celebrate, boy

And herein lies the other conflict:  What to do about the people here illegally and what to do to prevent further invasion from north, east, south, and west of our border.  They keep trying to tie the two together to get the best deals, defined in Washington has highest payout to members of congress with highest screwing of the average American.

Of course, one simple test is to wait for the next World Cup and see whether a person puts up and roots for the USA or do they wave the flag of their home country and root from them, if the latter, send them back!

Okay, that was a joke, well, no, actually a pet peeve would be more accurate.

So this is the mess we are in.  Sure, we can blame BushClintonBushObama and all the members of congress who let this invasion happen, but now pretend you actually have to deal with it, that we have a president that actually thinks he should fulfill some of the promises he made while running for the office.

But how to fix this mess?  I'm not sure what I would do if I were the president.  Dreamers stay, everyone else go?  All these 'Obama Refugees' back home?  Once you start making exceptions, and there will be thousands of valid exceptions for safety and political religious reasons, but then where do you draw a line?  People will be claiming their neighbors threatened to kill them so they have to stay.

And, in all cases involving Washington, you have to pay attention to the money - specifically, the money that flows to members of congress.  Corporations love cheap labor, well, they want free labor but that is still a few decades away; so corporations big and small want those illegals from Mexico, the Middle East, Africa, and Asia; oh the tech industry loves those Indians who code for curry and rice.

Why, when arguments are being made, does no one point out that the media and democrats are in bed with evil corporations who want cheap 'slave' labor and support all this illegal immigration.  Or does corp America ever stop to think that all their efforts to cut labor costs by supporting illegal aliens will be producing millions and millions of votes for the Democratic Party who will then turn around and increase costs on corporations through higher taxes and environmental regulations?

Nobody ever connects the dots.

Look at Germany, France, and Sweden right now.  Sweden has become a cesspool.  Not long ago, I thought it would be a real hoot to move to Sweden - now, wouldn't take a free vacation to Sweden.  Their open border policy has produced a hellhole of Moslems overtaking entire neighborhoods and cities.  Concerts next summer in Sweden will be 'Women Only" due to the rampant rapes that have occurred. France, Sweden, Germany and Britain have "No Go" areas where police and fire avoid and if they do go in are attacked.

Are you that naive, my imaginary readers, that you think this isn't going to happen here?  It will be worse.  Right now many cities have DMZ's where police only go in via large numbers.  We are going to split in so many more ways than Sweden or France.  Will we have Black only, Latino only, Moslem only, White only towns cities and states before this is all over?

What ever we do on immigration - remove all illegals to amnesty for everyone to nothing, it has reached the point where whatever we do, it will not be fair, it will not be pretty, and it will probably not be real peaceful.

Well, if I could do something
You can do something
If I could do anything
But can you do something out of this world?

Take a dream on a Sunday
Take a life, take a holiday
Take a lie, take a dreamer
Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream along

Dreamer, dream, dream along
C'mon and dream and dream along
C'mon and dream and dream along
C'mon and dream and dream along

Friday, December 29, 2017


Anyone watch Amazon's The Grand Tour?  It's the blokes that use to be on Top Gear and now have their show on Amazon and I just watched another episode this morning and came away from the show thinking, man, are those dudes getting fat.

You can see it when they drive around, the cars tilting on the passenger sides of the car, because across the pond they have the steering wheel on the wrong side of the car to facilitate their ability to drive on the wrong side of the road.  And then they time the cars around and I'm thinking are they tearing the weight, torque, and times to account for the extra weight?

And the punch line is all the time Jeremy makes fun of Americans for being fat, you could put a bus stop under that belly overhang of his and nobody would ever get wet.


Okay, it did take a re-vote in the House because somebody screwed it up but now we all have more money coming in our paychecks next year.  Yippee!!!

Here is what bugs me though, the media.  They all said it was the biggest overhaul of the tax system since the Reagan Tax Plan and I'm like, uh, no.  Apparently the media thinks an overhaul to the tax plan only occurs when actual taxpayers see a cut in taxes.  We have not been paying the tax plan of Reagan since 1990.  Bush Senior raised taxes and re allowed many deductions for the wealthy.  Clinton when running in 1992 promised a tax cut for middle class then cried on screen saying he tried, tried harder than anything he'd ever done to cut the taxes on the middle class but just could not do it - then raised them.  Bush Jr., raised taxes and Obama, oh that good little icon of liberalism, well technically your healthcare costs going from 300 a month to 800 a month is not a tax according to the blackmailed Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, but there was certainly less money to spend.

This was not the biggest overhaul to the tax system in 30 years, this was the biggest reset of the tax system since Reagan.  But interesting how the debate is framed in the media.

Speaking of Clinton, Bush, and Obama; Trump is catching a ton of flack for planning to move our embassy to Jerusalem like he promised when he campaigned.  So let's join Mr. Peabody and the WayBack Machine and go back and hey look - when Clinton ran for president in 1992, he promised to move our embassy in Israel to Jerusalem!  And didn't.

Bush Jr. in 2000 promised to move our embassy in Israel to Jerusalem and ..... didn't.

And yes, imaginary readers, Barak Obama promised to move our embassy to Jerusalem when he ran for president in 2008.

Trump - he actually is doing what he promised.  Like with tax cuts.  Now if he'd only build that wall as he promised.

News of interest, big story of abuse and rape in nursing homes and how prevalent it is and how difficult it is to deal with.  Witnesses and victims are normally mentally incompetent and make bad witnesses for cops and officials.

By the way, here is a tip for imaginary readers.  If you wonder when you die if you will go to heaven or hell and if you work as a caretaker for the elderly and if you even think, let alone act, on some impulse that says it would be a good idea to have sex with an elderly person, you are going to Hell.  Hell Hell Hell.

I'd love to ask such a person what their thought process was that led up to the moment you think pulling down the Depends on an 98 year old woman so you could stick your pecker in her.  I'd really like to ponder such a thought process - then I will shoot the person right between the eyes.

That is one reason I took care of my folks.  Because if you ever sit and really think thru what possibly could happen that would make me go off the deep end and go on  a mass killing spree, that would have been my answer.  Putting a parent in a home and then finding out the workers had beaten or raped one of my parents and I would have loaded up everything I had and went to town on the employees of such a place.

Fortunately, was able to take care of my folks myself and they were safe all the way till the end.

And people think there is no evil, no Satan, no demons in the world - bad news folks, there are more and more satanic minions running around today than at any time in history.

Look at the men in drug cartels and what they do to people when they kill them.  How can anyone with a soul do that to another human being?

Everything is interconnected, which means the blokes on the Grand Tour, as they gain weight, the evil on the planet is increasing.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.

Friday, December 22, 2017


Okay, why do I remember this?

It was late in December, the sky turned to snow
All round the day was going down slow
Night like a river beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind go
Drifting into time passages
Years go falling in the fading light
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Went to school one year and one month with Debbie Brady, 7th and a month of 8th.  But her birthday is one week after mine and for reasons I can't fathom, that has stuck.  And I'm not posting this on exact dates less someone steal an identity.

So happy birthday Debbie Brady, hope you are well and life went well for you.

And yes, my imaginary readers, that means I also turned 60 this month.  I think that is why I haven't done much writing.  In spite of my best efforts, I could not help floating back in time, looking over my life.

Well I'm not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on are the things that don't last
Well it's just now and then my line gets cast into these
Time passages
There's something back here that you left behind
Oh time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

I don't like self actualization or self this or self that.  I try to drive thru life with no rearview mirrors.  But hitting 60 it all kind of dropped off and you start looking at life, thinking about life, a couple of regrets of things I did,  most regrets are the things you did not do.

See, the problem is this, you start yanking and pulling at threads and the next thing you know the tapestry of your life can become unraveled in ways you can't imagine.  So I don't yank, I don't pull, I'm alive, have a job, roof over head, and healthy.  Better off than many.

And, in the end, I am kind of happy.  Well, maybe serene would be a better word.  And I can look in the mirror and not have to look away - I live like a monk and I am at peace with who I am.

And I don't mean some of those catholic monks with congressional tastes for young boys or girls.

See, I never had the dreams and goals of most people.  I lost my dream of being a baseball player by 20.  I lost the dream of a love of my life and we would spend life together by 25.

My only ambitions till in my 40's was to be healthy and happy.  Then, it became holy and healthy.  Now it is still holy and healthy and a manual transmission.

So I've learned not to judge by bank accounts, careers, etc; that is not who I am, who we are.

Mostly what I enjoyed about the trip to the past was finding pictures of slides and playgrounds we grew up on in the 50's and 60's; before lawyers and bean counters took over everything and ruined life for children forever.

Ride by a playground today and you see swings with seatbelts, slides almost 5 feet high, no wonder millenials are such snowflakes.

Back in the 50's and 60's, playgrounds were passages of manhood.  Playgrounds had multitudes of ways to get hurt, to scare, to test.  Our grade school had a slide with 10 or 12 steps to the top, a metal slide which burned your legs and butt in the summers, and if you fell you fell to concrete - I don't remember any kids dying or getting badly hurt.

There was a park in Blue Island, why do I feel I've written about this before, awe gosh, am I repeating myself now, had a slide with 24 twelve inches between steps to the top, then two slides to choose from to slide down, well until we were a little older and crawled over the railing to slide down the poles like we were firemen.

These were rights of passage for kids. And remembering it brings a smile to my face.

The point of all of this is I have not been writing much because I didn't want to blather about all of the retrospection.

Well the picture is changing
Now you're part of a crowd
They're laughing at something
And the music's loud
A girl comes towards you
You once used to know
You reach out your hand
But you're all alone, in these
Time passages
I know you're in there, you're just out of sight
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight