This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, October 29, 2017


Hey Amazon, I have an idea for your new location.

West Virginia.

I don't know how many of my imaginary readers have ever been to WV, but it can be one of the most beautiful states in the union, the Appalachians, the rivers and lakes.  It's really a beautiful part of the country as long as you don't stumble upon strip mining, mountain top chopping, or the occasional old mines to fall into.

And it's dirt poor.

Stay with me on this Bozo

Morgantown would be a great place.  University town, airport, less than 100 miles to Pittsburg with Pitt and Melon, couple of hours to Warton or Penn State.

Think what 50,000 Amazon jobs would be for that state?  Housing would be cheap, taxes low.
They would be kissing your feet if you put headquarters there.

Airport not big enough?  No problem, I'm sure they could put in a couple of more runways for you, no worries.  They will even name it Amazon International Airport for you.

And, I think I got this right, been a long time since I read it.  Take all those jobs, do average salary for them, and for every 5 employees, there will be 2 higher paying jobs created, lawyers, doctors etc.

And for every employee, two jobs of equal or lesser will be created.  So we are not talking about 50K jobs, we are talking over 170,000 jobs in the state.  Amazon could turn one of the worst states economically into one of the richest states.

Be way cooler than doing the obvious choices.


Leaves are changing, temps are dropping, normal people talking about football, must be time for me to become obsessive over the JFK killing again.

Happens every fall.  Let me recap for my newer imaginary readers.

1.  Five doctors looked at Kennedy at Parkland in emergency.  All observed and agree, there was an entrance wound at the front of the throat.

2.  Oswald could not have shot Kennedy in the front of the throat

ergo, Oswald was not the lone shooter.

This weekend have been sick and so streamed/downloaded a lot of stuff to watch between sneezing and watery eyes.  By the way, if anyone is spying on me in the living room, the 593 times I've pulled out at the corner of my eyes this weekend, like that player in the World Series was doing,  my eyes were itchy and was in no way making fun of Japanese people.  If i want to make fun of Japanese men I'll point out that even my small willie is larger than the entire nations male population of willies.

No wonder they went metric, 7.62 sounds so much better than 3.

So, where was I, the Kennedy killing.  Watched the entire The Men Who Killed Kennedy yesterday.  There is one episode where they talk to the young woman who was helping 'them' develop the fast acting cancer thing for Castro who spent lots of time with Oswald, they fell in love although married to others.

If you believe this woman, and I tend to do so, Oswald knew he was screwed and was being setup.  She recounts a phone call where he promised not to actually shoot the president, it was all he could do.

Think about that, finding yourself in a situation, where there is no options, no win, no way to get out and no way to stop without being dead.  He knew what was happening that morning, knew he was going to be setup as the shooter.

What could he do?  Anything he did other than what he was told was a death sentence for him and probably his family and anyone else he may have talked to.

I really felt sorry for the guy last night.

Also, in one of the episodes, it talks about the number of people, cops, newspeople, doctors, nurses, etc who were outside of the hospital and saw the limo and the bullet hole in the windshield - and the story of the Ford manager who oversaw the remake of the windshield, though this time it would have an indention on the interior and cracking on outside to make it look like it was hit from behind and his death bed letter detailing the whole thing.

And yet, I can not shake this feeling of sorrow for Oswald.

Lee Harvey Oswald is the personification of a Kafka protagonist.  He should be St. Oswald, the patron saint of those run over by bureaucracies and governments everywhere; those who thru no fault of their own are steamrolled and left for dead by the rich, the powerful; by the systems that mindlessly move forward leaving destruction of people in it's path.

Oswald left the army with an honorable discharged, announced he was defecting to Russia, fortunately for him he somehow was fluent in Russian.  Then after a few years comes back and is arrested, charged with treason, and tried and oh wait, no none of that happened.  He just comes back to the states and nothing happens.  This is late 50's early 60's folks, that doesn't happen unless he was sent to Russia in the first place, by our government.

So I guess the 'no fault of their own' part might be stretching things a little, Lee Harvey Oswald was a CIA dude.  Nice to know the CIA takes care of their own.

Anyways, probably more to come on this topic.  I only allow myself to read books or watch shows on the JFK thing in October and November, then I shut it down for the next 10 months.  Got to keep those obsessions under control, don't you know.

Friday, October 27, 2017


I mean, think about it.  Kennedy was killed in 1963.  Fifty four years have passed and they still will not release all the records for national security reasons.

What exactly are they hiding?

Let's face it, anyone involved in the planning is dead by now, I guess George HW Bush is still alive and rolling along, but wouldn't everyone else be long gone?  Of course, we don't know Bush was involved, and he can't remember where he was on that morning,  so what is so secret?

Ask yourself this: if Oswald acted alone and was not part of a conspiracy, just some bloke who decided to kill a president, what needs secrecy?

If someone says there is nothing to hide, then goes to extreme means to hide things, you really need to wonder why.  It's like two premises that don't fit.  Like Obama and his school records, went to serious efforts to lock those records up but claimed he wasn't hiding anything.

How do you hide, nothing?  Why would you hide, nothing?

The Clinton's, however, have plenty to hide.  I wonder sometimes how many years it has been since one of them actually told the truth.  You have to admit, for a year the Trump Russia thing has been in the news, reporters and talking heads saying the treason word.  And now it turns out, as many of us knew, the Clintons were paying for the chop job in the first place.  Not to be confused with the uranium deal, where Bill gave a speech, was paid 500,000 dollars, meets with Putin afterwards, big deposit at the Clinton foundation and lo and behold, the sweet uranium deal goes through.

That's just business in the world.  But paying Fusion to gather research that turned out to be fabricated after the publication and a special prosecutor being named because of the fabricated data and now turns out the Clintons paid for it all.

Well that's just plain funny.  But worry not, like all the other Clinton scandals, they will skate on this one too.  There are people in this country that are above the law.  Then again, while this story was available about Fusion, funding, and the Clintons as well as the story of uranium and the money flying into the Clintons prior to the decision, what really blew it up this week was the Washington Post writing the story.  Once they did the NY papers all went to town on it, as well as the Chicago Tribune and LA Times.  In other words, when the Post writes it, it's legit and okay to follow up on it with their own stories.  Took nearly a year of reading about all this on those alt right web sites and news pages for the Washington Post to catch up.  But it is the Post and that is a game changer.

Now if the Washington Post could write a story on all the peds and pervs in Congress.

On another subject that old dogs should still learn, Wednesday night did my semi annual haircut where I take the clippers, take off any plastic guide and just shave my head.  Probably should have checked the weather because when you shave off 5 months of hair, you really don't want to do it when the next day a front moves in with 40mph winds and temps dropping into the 20's, jeepers was my head cold.

In case you missed it:  You know all the flack that Trump is getting on the tax plan, how liberals and media, but I repeat myself, blasting it as a tax cut for the rich?  These same liberals and media fell all over themselves when Macron was elected in France, oh, if only we could have a liberal dude like that (forgetting of course Clinton, Bush, and Obama over the last 24 years) for our president.  Guess what Macron did in France?  Slashed the taxes on the wealthy to stimulate the economy and make business boom.  And it's working, funny how the liberal media, redundant again, fails to mention this in news stories.

In case you missed it II:  In Britain, this old couple was in their home when there was a knock on the door.  Woman government official announced that it had been determined that the two old married people were unable to take care of themselves anymore and were being moved to a care facility.  The government didn't contact their adult children in the area, who spent several frantic days along with the cops trying to figure out where their parents went off to, and the home they owned became part of the state to pay for their care.

Seriously, the government just took them from their home, took ownership of their property, and put them in a care facility; no court, no judge, no input from their adult kids or neighbors.  Just one nurse putting a note in their records wondering if they were able to still take care of themselves.

And, for those of us about to hit 60, that is scary.  Look at my kitchen, bet you people think I can't take care of myself some days when the dishes are piled up, clothes all over the floor, bathrooms are not too bad but I'm sure some anal retentive types would compare them to gas stations.  But it gets even creepier.

Some Catholic hospital group in Oregon will now allow euthanasia for mentally limited people.  Yes, the alzheimer's patient that can't recognize a spouse or kid will be determined mentally able to answer a complex question about deciding to be euthanized.  This is the black hole of the government who think a 15 year old can't take an aspirin while at school but is mature enough to arrange with the school a trip for an abortion.  Now old people not all there will suddenly be lucid enough to determine they want to die.

I wonder if the Clintons would consider moving to Oregon?

Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old-
This knight so bold-
And o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow-
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be-
This land of Eldorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied-
"If you seek for Eldorado!" 

Saturday, October 21, 2017


Um, okay, not really; what I've watched unfold over the last two weeks, is it appears that being harassed by Weinstein is the 'in thing' in Hollywood.  It's kind of like 2 million people in Chicago now swear they were at Game 7 last year when the Cubs one their only World Series in 200 some years - oh just wait a few years, that will be accurate.

I don't own a TV, haven't been to a movie in a theatre since, 2004(?) or something like that.  I have no idea who half the people are or what movies they were in.  I don't think I've ever seen a George Clooney movie, Pitt I saw in 12 Monkeys and that spy thing with Redford.  I recognized Judd, well sort of, she's certainly gotten old which means I must look like hell now, but most of these others I've never seen anything they were in and never heard of most.  And Streisand?  I still have not gotten over being dragged from a beautiful summer day of endless possibilities as a 7 year old and kidnapped by my mom and sister and forced to go to the movie theater to sit through Funny Girl at the Evergreen Park movie theatre.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sorry they were possibly harassed, assaulted, or worse.

What I don't get is the shock.

The stories of the casting couch have been around for years.  I mean back to the black and white movie days; it's always been there and how bloody naive are you?  Men with money and the power to make decisions in an industry that has millions of young hot attractive women willing to do whatever it takes to be a star?  Men with money, power, and corrupted mentally immoral with millions of young kids who probably don't care but their parents think they can be the next Beaver and they end up getting corned for years while the parents are too busy spending their paychecks.

I'm not saying every actor dropped on his knees or every actress spread the legs, but I've kind of always assumed many did to get the door open at some point.  Just like anyone who's been in DC working or elected and been there more than 10 years I just assume is now corrupted in many ways I can't even fathom.

And the high powered pervs didn't worry because they thought they had a nice ticket to pass GO, they contributed heavily to the democrats, flew millions of miles in their private jets to give checks and get awards from Planned Parenthood/Greenhouse/NAACP and all the other liberal pet causes - you know, like Bill Clinton.

Of course, republicans in DC are also protected as long as when they get that phone call they make the vote the lefties want and need.  Hey, Chief Justice Roberts!  Hey, John McCain!

Which is why old Harv is over in Europe in a sex clinic now scratching his head wondering why everyone has turned on him for doing nothing more than almost every other powerful hollywoodie man of power has done for 100 years.  He paid all the right people, made all the right political comments, backed all the right candidates, said all the right things.  "Why, why, why?", he asks in his best Nancy Kerrigan voice.

Or is he being thrown overboard to protect the rest of them, the seriously sick, the pedophiles who prey on the child actors?  There is the real illness, the powerful men in Hollywood (and Washington) who prey on young boys and girls; there is the real power and Weinstein is tossed over to protect them.

Just ask yourself one question:  You see the famous now coming out in Hollywood, acting sad, regretful, they didn't do more; they suspected but never said anything, and how bad they feel about these young actresses and what they went through.

But they don't utter a word about Corey Feldman and all those child actors - wonder why?  Me too.
Do you wonder why so many child actors of the 70's, 80's and 90's ended up all messed up as adults?
And you don't hear a peep about it for the rich and powerful actors and actresses, hmm.

Meanwhile, while the media, running out of natural disasters to cover, are back on the Trump Russia thang and had a great laugh about some fake twitter account that caught many well known conservatives retwiting or whatever it's called.   But you had to look to find the news story about the 18 million - what 18 million you ask?  Well, now here in flyover country, this one is pretty easy to follow:  Bill Clinton meets with Putin; 18 million donation to the Clinton Foundation several days later from Russians; Hillary approves the uranium sale to Russia.  Nothing to see here.

You'd need an Ivy League degree or PhD to not follow that.

See, here is a basic fact of life.  When you want something bad, want something more than anything else in life, when you are willing to do anything to get what you want, there will be very rich and powerful people willing to take that bet.  It's a fact of life.  Rich powerful people never worry about getting caught, they are rich and powerful and think they are untouchable; and the young with the willingness to do anything to get what they want are a perfect match no matter where or when you lived.  It's happened throughout history in America, Europe, Asia and Africa.

Sorry ladies of Hollywood, focus on the kids, then I'll pay attention.

And another thought I'd forgotten to hit on earlier.  Ask yourself an interesting question.  Go to the Southern Poverty Law Center's website and look down the list of people/groups they consider dangerous.  You don't see a single Hollywood power player there, you see many conservative groups who oppose abortion, oppose open borders, oppose, well, anything the democrat party supports.  But not one example of people or groups who molest children.  Kind of makes you wonder where SPLC employees spend their weekends.

Friday, October 6, 2017


The problem with trying to stay 'informed' in a world awash in useless information is occasionally you run into what can only be described as conflicting.

For example, recently in the mideastern countries, there has been a 'round up' of men suspected of being gay.  One country were going to do anus checks on them, which of course brought up all sorts of questions in my mind.  I mean, I know I am totally out of touch with culture and perhaps naive, but:

Is a gay male anus different than a normal male anus?  Bigger?  Smaller?  Rounder?  Do they need special jeans?  If the anus is different,  then wouldn't everyone be checking out everyone else's anus in the high school showers to figure out which football players were gay?

Does this mean lesbians, oh never mind.  Or what about bisexual men, is half their anus different from the other half?

And what of the people doing the checking?  I would think being the official Moslem Anal Auditor or the Islamic Overseer of Anal Assessment would have to be just a little on the side of the loafers to spend his time monitoring the anal cavities of men to determine if they are gay or not.  Maybe he's a latent kind who after sticking his finger or eye or gaymeter up another mans anus would decide if he is attracted to this man he must be gay.

Do they teach this at college now?

Meanwhile, Egypt is in the process of rounding up gays.  Perhaps there were more entrants in this years Egyptian Games and needed more gay men to act as 'tossets' for the Gay Tossing Contest.  Plenty of news/videos out there showing those peace loving Moslems enjoying a break in their hard days of work, relaxing by tying up and tossing gay men off rooftops and awarding prizes for the one that bounces the farthest.

So that leads to the brain explosion for a University of Texas student leaving campus and dropping out of school because he apparently has committed a serious crime.  Did he rape a coed and since he is not a stand out quarterback he would face charges?  Nope.  Did he scrawl anti gay slogans on bathroom walls?  Nope.  He said he had an issue with Islam because of the way they treat gays in muslim countries and someone who heard him say this reported it to school officials as a hate crime.

I'm not making this up.

So in America, saying something negative about how muslim countries treat homosexuals is a crime?  When did Muslims pass the gays in the Minority Crybaby Scale of Importance?  I thought the gay lesbian thing was like at the top of the Southern Poverty Law Centers Civil Rights are Violated by My Breathing Scale?

I have to admit, it's kind of fun to sit back and watch this all unfold, the way middle eastern countries have flooded Europe, wait, there was another story, oh yea, Tunisia has found a cure for the problem of overcrowded prisons, they just emptied them and escorted all the prisoners to ships to send to Europe, whole prison ended up settled in Germany; okay, where was I, oh yea, so for over a decade European countries like Germany, France, Italy, Greece, Spain, Britain, and Sweden have allowed tens of thousands of the 'refugees' into their countries and now are scratching their heads what to do because those refugees are taking over the country.

Frankly, if I had to go to Europe now, I'd go to Poland or Czechoslovakia where their government said "hell NO" to accepting immigrants from the middle east.  Of course, by this point, they might feel the same way about Americans.  Hungary also said no and put up a fence that apparently is working remarkably well, cutting off 99% of refugees.

I wonder if Paul Ryan would take a congressional trip to Hungary to tell them fences don't work.

Where was I, boy mind is wandering all over the place today, oh yea, sitting back and watching country after country in Europe is about to fall, to be taken over by Sharia Laws and then the real immigration problem is going to happen.  What happens when millions of Europeans suddenly want to immigrate to the United States?

Think about that, as each European country falls, the residents will look for an out and the first place they will want to come is the USA.

Imagine the politics of suddenly having 20 million white Europeans wanting to enter the USA.  You will see the biggest pendulum swing that will happen so fast you are likely to detach a retina watching it happen.  Suddenly millions who have been wanting open borders are going to be crying about all the Europeans and those who want walls will welcome them with open arms.

Maybe it is a race thing after all?  If suddenly 20 million swedish, french, irish, danish, german women suddenly wanted to come to the states, face it, most guys would be like, Sure! Okay!  I got an extra room!

Now appears to be a funny little thing happening just south of the border, seems lots of Moslems who are going to Mexico first in order to sneak into the USA are discovering the value of the peso and deciding rather than trying to get into the USA they want to stay in Mexico and hold on to your chairs, the Mexican government is working to prevent this from happening because they don't want millions of Moslems settling in Mexico, taking jobs, and ruining their culture.

How does God not just decide it's time, this is getting ridiculous.

I'm dazed and confused,
Is it stay, is it go?
I'm being abused,
And I think I should know,
Come on baby,
I'm starting to crack,
If you're out to get me,
You're on the right track.
Hey, hey!


We live in a world today where at least half of our nation will immediately not believe a news story.

Unfortunately, it's both halves and which ones do not believe which story is solely dependent on which side you are on and where the news story comes from. We all seem to be on 'sides' now, and it's confusing because people whose side I'm on concerning A are people whom I am against on B.   I will read the NY Times, the Washington Post, Mother Jones, Breibart, and InfoWars and fully understand each of them are telling a story based on their worldview and agendas. 

So what happened in Vegas?  Have no idea.

The story is a retired former postal worker and CPA who dabbled in real estate was a millionaire who loved to play video poker and would win or lose more money in one evening than most of us will make in  a year, just snapped and shot up a huge crowd of country western fans.

And that is the official story being sold on some websites/TV/newspapers.  Problem is, like most other lone gunman official stories, too many loose ends and unexplained things to accept the story if you look at it logically.

Now one of the best things you can do when you have such an incident is there are apps that allow you to listen to police scanners all over the world and some enterprising people will always record the whole thing and then post on youtube.

Listen to the police scanners of that night and multiple multiple callers are identifying shooters in the middle of the hotel, not the top.  Callers are talking about multiple shooters, guy shooting from an exit, etc.  I understand it's chaotic, but close your eyes, picture such a situation and what will be one of the two things you will totally focus on?  Most will just follow the direction the herd is running, for sure, but the others who will also be the one calling rather than running or standing in place to record the whole thing for their Facebook page, that will pay attention to where are people shooting from and where can I run/hide to get away the quickest from where the shooting is coming from.  So if people see shooting from and exit and people are all running from that exit, pretty much can bet there was a shooter at the exit.

And everyone is reporting the shooting from the middle of the building.  They even have multiple videos of what looks like it might be shooting from about the fourth or fifth floor.  Could also be someone taking burst photos from a phone too though.   So if you want raw data, nothing better than the police scanner - words before the lies can be told.

Of course I, my dear imaginary readers, living outside the box recognized those flashes immediately as morse code and decoded it as "Paul is dead" - backwards it said "bet it all one more time".

Another thing is so in your face obvious, how did some durod (if you don't know what Durod means you have to read back where it was once define and how the word was created - think peckerwad ) carry over two dozen guns and thousands of rounds of ammo up to a room on the 32 floor and no one notice anything?  How did the maids not notice?

I've never been to Vegas so this next is my speculation based on a couple of friends who go all the time and the large hotels have security systems and sweeps that would make a military base look easier to hide or sneak around in.

Cameras on every entrance.  Cameras in all the hallways.  Cameras in all the stairwells.  Cameras in the elevators.  Maids are trained when entering rooms to do security sweeps for anything out of the ordinary.

So, unless the hotel can come up with a reasonable explanation, lone gunman not looking good at this point.

And who was the woman dozens of concert goers saw/heard telling people that they should all run, they need to get out of here, they were all going to die - 45 minutes before the start of the concert.  She and another male were escorted out of the concert, hispanics, both around 5ft 5 or 5ft 7.  Maybe workers at hotel who knew something was up and were trying to save people?  Speculation on my part but fact is it happened, it was heard, multiple witnesses.

At this point, the old geezer who snapped is totally destroyed, after all, if he'd just snapped, sure was a coincidence for him that he had this wonderful collection of over 2 dozen rifles and thousands of rounds of ammo in his hotel room for no good reason when he snapped.

No snapping, totally premeditated.

By the way, does anyone know where OJ was when this went down?  Maybe OJ was finally determined  the Brown/Goldman killers were country music fans.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away
Across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Images of broken light which dance before me like a
Million eyes
They call me on and on
Across the universe
Thoughts meander like the restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe