A MIND FOREVER VOYAGING THROUGH STRANGE SEAS OF THOUGHT, ALONE


This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.



The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

NOT WORTH AN EXTRA BUCK AN HOUR

I don't often talk about work here, well, because I don't.

But part of the purpose of this blog was to talk about what it is like starting life over in your 50's, after you care for a loved one dying and are left bankrupt and having to start from scratch.

For my long term imaginary readers, you know what I went through, spending 8 months unemployed after my dad died and then finally landing a job with a really great company.  Doing what I did 30 years ago.  Starting pay was what I made, 30 years ago - except it has 1/2 the buying power.

But for 2.5 years I've been plugging away and the job is fine.  Have  a great manager now who pretty much lets me be me and doesn't get in my way, sees that whatever I am doing is working with customers big time and just let's me be an outlier.

Reviews came up recently, lets see how I can word this, graded in three areas, say 1 2 or 3  and most people get 2's, you are in trouble if you get 3's and I got two 2's and one 1 and when it came to a raise I got, well, less than a buck an hour.  Life in the 21st century.  Hard to get excited about it, though as I will point out I have a job, it does pay okay though I'm still technically below the median income in Colorado.

Back in the 80's, when I got my first phone support job, owner came to me after 3 months and increased my pay by 4k because I was doing so well, then another 4k at my one year review.  Somewhere along the line, people have mistakenly replaced 'k' with '%'.  When did that happen?

But this is where life's questions come up.  After 2.5 years with this great company, would companies out there in the world who wouldn't give me the time of day now find me attractive?  But then why would I go to them?  Don't I owe this company my loyalty, since they kept me from being homeless?

So it comes down to making a choice of riding out life with this company, making much less than I use to, happily accepting under 5% raises each year or do I get ambitious again?  Part of me wants to be ambitious again, yet another part of me is like settle down, ride the wave, you need to work till you die, what is the hurry, ride this as long as you can.  Grass isn't always greener, the economy sucks still, stay put, stay under the radar.

These are the things you have to think about as you approach 60.

Just tonight, I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass, I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely man really me?

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Through the door, there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same