This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, April 24, 2016


I finally have broken free from the constraints of political correctness, I am free worrying about what I say, and the solution was so simple why didn't I think of it before.

Create your own language!

That's right, it was that simple!

I think i've told this story before, hell I think I've told every story twice on these blogs, but in college back in the late 70's, went to WMU, but one of the big rivalries in college basketball back in those days was DePaul versus U of Detroit.  Stop laughing, really!

So they were both in the Top Five and getting ready to play each other and being from Chicago area in a Michigan college my roommate and I took the state loyalty thing and rooted for DePaul though I don't think either of us gave a crap and a 1/2 as to who would win - me less that him because I have to admit this: I've never given a crap about college football or basketball.

But anyways star player for UofD was some guy named Durod and the announcer would always say things like Dooooooooorod.   Well, on this night, unfortunately, Terry Durod couldn't hit air let alone a basket, the rim, or the backboard.  Totally stunk which motivated my roommate and I to mimic the Doooooorod thing and the next thing you know we started calling people Durods and created a whole new word.

But if I say it now, nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about.  And that happened very recently and suddenly I realized I could create a whole new vocabulary of words.

So I am currently working thru a list of all the words we can no longer use, such as 'you fatass bimbo' or oh the world is my oyster now, because I'm making up words all over the place.

My favorite method is to take simple words from english, like to, do, so, da - okay da is not a word but it works for this, and then add a word to it, like a fruit or veggie, so now I can say  "what a sobroc"  or "jeepers you are such a lucorn" and people get this confused look on their face, not sure if they've been insulted and I've just called them a *&&^%&^^%^*&% and a %&*^&^*#@# and only I know it because I created the language and didn't share it with anyone.  And best of all is you can't get in trouble because nobody knows what the word means and if pushed to the wall, since you created the word, you can create whatever meaning you want and nobody will make it stick!!!!!

Why didn't I think of this before, my imaginary corads?  Think of what this will mean to the fuberries!!  To the gutators!

Am I a genut or what!

Oh yea for all you Prince or artist formerly known as Prince fans, sorry you 5'2" sex symbol is dead - I mean the guy made Davey Jones look tall - now we find he was one serious drug addict with one serious case of stage fright and the need to continually look invincible and successful to others.

That is why I like looking like a loser.  Any false expectations people will have will end up positive and I feel no need to live up to something.

So rest in peace, posquash.

Saturday, April 16, 2016


I know, I'm not writing very often but frankly haven't had much to say.  Life is okay, not great but not bad.

Coming up soon on 3 years since my dad died, which means I will be in Colorado as long without him as with him.  And yet it still hangs out there.  Talked on phone recently to a guy who runs some organization about dying and death and he's dealt a lot with the Alzheimer's stuff and he was amazed at what I did and thinks I probably suffer from PTSS, no wait, that's not right, sounds like a part time Nazi or something, well post traumatic stress, which is probably true but what ya' gonna do.  Take pills?  No thanks.  Talk about it ad nauseam in group therapy?  Nope.

I guess the biggest issue is listen to people bitch about things and thinking how clueless they are to real problems.  I know, that is exactly what I do it for a living.

Election.  As I've said, I've never got on the Trump bandwagon.  I do appreciate him having the balls to say things about immigration that I agree with and need to be said.  I do appreciate his ripping the trade treaties.  But I do not trust the man.

However, he is winning the vote fair and square.  He is having delegates stolen from him left and right.  And that is not fair.

And here in Colorado, one of the worse.  People didn't even get to vote.  Just told by the republican party Cruz gets the delegates.  So in November, if I vote, I will paper ballot and write in Trump for ever state office as a protest.

I know some said Trump is naive, Cruz is understanding how to use, manipulate and take advantage of the system - and I think THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY, WEALTHY IVY LEAGUE BUGGERS ABLE TO MANIPULATE THE RULES AND SYSTEMS TO THEIR ADVANTAGE.

Six months ago, despite being a senator and having a wife working for Scrodham Sacs, I thought Cruz would be acceptable.  Now, he's just another corrupt Ivy League lawyer who is going to be a bitch for the people pulling the strings.

I wonder if Trump and Sanders both get screwed, if they would consider a Trump/Sanders ticket in the fall?  I wonder if I could transfer to England and live there?  I always thought I'd love to live in Sweden, but now it's more like Sweden Arabia.

Had scheduled 3 days off this week which was nice.  What wasn't nice is getting the flu this spring, first time in 15 years I got a full dose of flu.  Started Friday before Palm Sunday and barely finished work, then missed Mon/Tues.  Came back and by Friday night was running 102, lungs so congested I couldn't breath and whole body felt like someone dropped me off a roof onto concrete.  So missed 3 more days of work the next week.

Still have a cough, and then on Wednesday, 70 degrees, sunny, off on my bike I go and nearly died, seriously, I had to stop 3 times on the trip home and when I got home sat in a chair for 45 minutes until I could breath and my heart rate dropped back to normal.

Of course the big story was the storm of the century hitting Colorado this weekend.  Thursday they were thinking, if temps stay down, over 2 feet of snow in FC.  Then down to a foot by Friday, woke up this morning and unless snow is now green, nothing.  But still predicting a foot of snow today and tonite, then it was 6 inches and let me check.

Looking outside, waiting, waiting, waiting, yes there is a flake!  A flake of snow!!!!  It's, wait, rats, it's a speck of dust on my glasses, yep still no snow.

This storm that never happened has been brought to you by the same computer systems predicting global warming.

Well, just letting my few imaginary readers know I'm still alive and doing fine.  Car works, dog is still alive, have a job, 'cept for the flu, health is good, and that's about all I need.

As soon as I get interesting, I'll write something else.

Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin' clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things you do, come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream On, Dream On, Dream On,
Dream until your dream come true