This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, December 13, 2015


Well, I know I feel better.  This week two studies were released; one said that getting too much sleep was as dangerous to our health as smoking and getting too much sleep is a ticket to an early death - the other study showed people who didn't get enough sleep suffered a much higher rate of strokes.  So you go to bed at night wondering if you should have stayed up and reduced the threat of oversleeping and certain death or if you don't fall asleep soon, I might have a stroke.

Of course, just to make it simple, the number of hours of sleep each person needs is really an individual thing, 6-9 hours is a range, less than 6 is not enough and more than 9 is too much for MOST people.

Have you ever heard of the Strecker Memorandum?  I just got done watching it, it's on you tube, and reading thru the web site.  It's actually over 25 years old, came out in the late 80's early 90's as a video and then later DVD.  Free on youtube.com though.

Basically, a doctor, goes thru the video showing how the AIDS virus was man made.  Documents the work with historical reports from the 1960's and 1970's showing the efforts to create a virus that causes cancer.  Shows how the virus is made up from two other viruses, identifies them, and then shows that the spread of the AIDS virus neatly correlated to the Hepatitis B vaccine given out in the late 1970's and early 1980s in this country and previously tested in that petrie dish we call Africa.

It really is a fascinating 90 minutes, kind of scientific at times but that is okay, but he really lays out the evidence that should scare the crap out of people.  Plus, he discusses at one point something that always bothered me, that AIDS cannot be spread by blood sucking bugs and after watching this I suspect you will join me in my efforts to bring back DDT for a few years, screw the condor.

And the goal of said research is to make, according to those earlier reports, cancer a communicable disease.  When I wrote a few years ago my fear that someone would realize that the way to solve the economic situation we are in is to find a way to activate the SV40 virus that all baby boomers have thanks to the polio vaccine into cancer and wipe out the BBer's in their 60's and 50's, you would instantly make SS and Medicare solvent again, and clearing out 50 million boomers would provide massive job openings for earlier generations and illegal carpetbaggers.

Now he documents how it's all been planned, documents in reliable journals and papers.  This isn't common sense show crap here folks.

Another reason to stay the hell away from flu shots and vaccines, though if government were smart they'd be putting it in chips and beer.

Well, rents in Fort Collins area are up 16% this year, you literally cannot find a 1 bedroom apartment in this area for less than 1k, unless you are qualifying for subsidized housing.  And now they are going to build a nice big 300+ complex on the east side of the city, for subsidized people.  We are watching the death of the middle class in Colorado.  You either make enough to by a 400k house or you are the saxons who live in subsidized housing to serve the meals, clean the houses, wash the cars etc.  And this is happening throughout the state.  There is less and less middle ground and here I am stuck for at least another year and a half, maybe two and a half.  Can't rent elsewhere with the bankruptcy for 3 years and next year when my rent goes up it will officially take up one of the entire paychecks each month.  But, I make too much to live in a subsidized apartment complex, not that I would necessarily want to live there.  Or, I could take in a roommate!  Wouldn't that be fun.  Two middle aged men living together, no rumors there.  Maybe I could find a nice college girl for 1/4 of the rent if she cooks and cleans too.

But is this where we are headed as a country?  The haves and have nots, with the haves weeding out and forcing more and more into the have nots?  I am opening a savings account next week, putting 300 to 500 a month in it to build up a nest egg, but the reality of understanding I will never have enough money to retire on sunk in deeply.  Not to mention never buying a new car again, now I just want to have enough in savings to protect myself from the inevitable dismissal from a job that I suspect is going to become a regular occurrence for baby boomers moving forward.  Buying ten year old cars every 5 years, struggling and knowing there are millions out there who have figured out how to live for free off the government, with food stamps, housing subsidies, welfare, free medical, dental, which is why 30% of every paycheck I earn disappears before it hits my checking account.  My state and local taxes will be going up to help pay for those residents of the subsidized apartment complex that by being built will end up, somehow, raising my rent again and again.

Maybe Styx were right, maybe this is all some sort of grand illusion.

Said the straight man to the late man
Where have you been
I've been here and I've been there
And I've been in between.

I talk to the wind
My words are all carried away
I talk to the wind
The wind does not hear
The wind cannot hear.

I'm on the outside looking inside
What do I see
Much confusion
All around me.

You don't possess me
Don't impress me
Just upset my mind
Can't instruct me or conduct me
Just use up my time

I talk to the wind
My words are all carried away
I talk to the wind
The wind does not hear
The wind cannot hear.

King Crimson