This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, December 27, 2015


Okay, sorry to all my imaginary readers for not posting recently.  My job, this time of year offers lots of overtime, some 'volunteered mandatory' and parts of last week and this coming week are double pay and if you are really clever you can get to the last day of each week already at 40 hours then it is triple time, which for me means one day a year I can make 1/2 of what I use to make per hour 20-15-10 years ago.

So consequently have been doing six day a week and 10 hour days.

But fear not, am currently reading a new econ book by Les Leopold that is really eye opening with lots of charts which I am collecting for one of those masterpieces I use to write.

In the meantime, are you catching the stories of the thefts of propane tanks?  Seems those places the store those tanks for sale have been being robbed in Missouri, Florida and now Pennsylvania.  And this apparently isn't just joe bob stealing propane for his cabin, this was systematic hits around and areas and have the Feds very nervous.

Add to that wal mart reported earlier a huge buy across multiple stores one day in Missouri by Muslim customers of hundreds of prepaid phones.

Remote controlled propane bombs across America

And the government response will be to ban the retail sale of propane

Saturday, December 19, 2015


I almost had tears in my eyes!

The way the conservative republicans in control of the house with our new young conservative leader stood up that he WH and voted a budget that was balanced..  A budget that stopped funding Planned Genocide, a budget that stopped funding the flow of Islamic terrorists int this country.  A budget that defended the mass takeover by illegal aliens.  Ops sorry, illegal carpetbaggers.

A budget that keeps America strong but stop funding the overthrow of governments and the arming of terrorists around the world.  A budget where we build a wall to protect the country from invaders like the wonderful wall Paul Ryan just built around his mansion to keep out mobs.

A budget that Stop rewarding currency manipulators and forcing the middle class bleeding.  A budget that taxes wealthy and kills the loopholes.

Yes, it was quite a day where the country could rejoice that finally republicans got the message, that finally our elected officials were looking out for the average Dick, Jane, and Baby Sally's of this world.

A day that didn't happen.

No, it was a budget that gives democrats wet dreams.  Increase tax payer confiscation for more abortions.  Increase tax payer confiscation to pay for more Islamic terrorist to come to this country.  Increase tax payer confiscation topay to house and feed more illegal carpetbaggers.  More funding for obamacare, more funding for this more for that.  And funding for the Paris global warming snow job being shoved down the throats of middle class America all based on fudged data, prejudiced placement of temp gauges and faulty statistical averaging.

Talk about an absolute cave and sell out of the American people.

My advice?  Look to see how your senators and house rep voted then vote against them in the primary and vote against them in the election.

Never believe them again.  Just vote against any incumbent and don't pay attention to parties.

Now, where can I sign up for the 2nd American Revolution?

Sunday, December 13, 2015


I don't know what surprises me more, Trump or the fact that Hillary is going to win the democratic nomination.  Seriously?  The democrats can't come up with anyone to beat Hillary?  And we may have to live thru 4-8 more years of Clintons?

Let's see, on the republican side, my first choice was Walker, oops, he's out.  I liked Perry, but for some reason no one will forgive him for forgetting one of the three departments he would eliminate in 2012.  It's funny how some people can gaffe once and that is it, then you have someone like Biden who can't say good morning without sticking his foot in his mouth and people are just like "that's ol' Joe!".  Kaisich was next, but he can't hear the fat lady singing the rest of us can and now Rand Paul is about to hang it up which means no one is left on the republican side.

I don't get the Ben Carson thing.  I mean, nice guy and all but what is he doing up there?  And Rubio looks like the twerp that ran all the clubs in high school and now wants to run the big one and is great with comebacks but do you really see him standing up for change?  Other than amnesty?  Why is he on the stage when he supports amnesty?

Cruz, I like the guy, but once again, first term senator with no experience leading and that has worked out so well the last 8 years - and his wife is VP at Goldman Sachs so you know Wall Street will get to pass go and collect 200 billion every time they roll the dice.

And the others, Huck Finn, Fog Horn Jersey Leghorn, and hmmm, can't remember, oh Carly but not Simon.  Blah.

And there is Trump.  I just can't get the feeling out of my gut that he is paving Hillary's path.  But yep, the man has the guts to say things we wish others did.  He's like America's Gene Hunt right now, well, except Trump grew up with a silver spoon up his nose.  I wish someone would ask him if he snorted coke in the 1980's.

But he is hitting a chord because he knows what is really pissing off the American male and female; the people who are so tired and ready to quit.  The people who are fed up working their asses off while millions of people flood over the borders from Mexico, China, Central and South America without going thru the proper channels, bringing all sorts of pests and diseases with them like TB, the Kissing bug which can kill people, etc.  Look it up, I did not make that up, it's a parasite of some sort in South and Central America that spreads from saliva and can kill people.  And it's popping up all over the Southwest now and Florida.

He knows what to say; immigration.  He really put one forward the other day and took incredible grief from the left, but, now this is really funny, when Jimmy Carter was president do you know he did the same thing with Iran?  No more visas, immigration, and if you were here from Iran on visa, good bye, go home.  So Trump is just wanting to do, on a larger scale, what those hardline conservatives FDR and Jimmy Carter both did when they were in office.

Clear the country of illegals, but incentives in place to move manufacturing back to the USA and the jobs that go with it.  But I can't shake the feeling there is a fox in the hen house.

Concrete cold face cased in steel
Stark sharp glass-eyed crack and peel
Bright light scream beam brake and squeal
Red white green white neon wheel.

Dream flesh love chase perfumed skin
Greased hand teeth hide tinseled sin
Spice ice dance chance sickly grin
Pasteboard time slot sweat and spin.

Blind stick blind drunk cannot see
Mouth dry tongue tied cannot speak
Concrete dream flesh broken shell
Lost soul lost trace lost in hell.

King Crimson


Well, I know I feel better.  This week two studies were released; one said that getting too much sleep was as dangerous to our health as smoking and getting too much sleep is a ticket to an early death - the other study showed people who didn't get enough sleep suffered a much higher rate of strokes.  So you go to bed at night wondering if you should have stayed up and reduced the threat of oversleeping and certain death or if you don't fall asleep soon, I might have a stroke.

Of course, just to make it simple, the number of hours of sleep each person needs is really an individual thing, 6-9 hours is a range, less than 6 is not enough and more than 9 is too much for MOST people.

Have you ever heard of the Strecker Memorandum?  I just got done watching it, it's on you tube, and reading thru the web site.  It's actually over 25 years old, came out in the late 80's early 90's as a video and then later DVD.  Free on youtube.com though.

Basically, a doctor, goes thru the video showing how the AIDS virus was man made.  Documents the work with historical reports from the 1960's and 1970's showing the efforts to create a virus that causes cancer.  Shows how the virus is made up from two other viruses, identifies them, and then shows that the spread of the AIDS virus neatly correlated to the Hepatitis B vaccine given out in the late 1970's and early 1980s in this country and previously tested in that petrie dish we call Africa.

It really is a fascinating 90 minutes, kind of scientific at times but that is okay, but he really lays out the evidence that should scare the crap out of people.  Plus, he discusses at one point something that always bothered me, that AIDS cannot be spread by blood sucking bugs and after watching this I suspect you will join me in my efforts to bring back DDT for a few years, screw the condor.

And the goal of said research is to make, according to those earlier reports, cancer a communicable disease.  When I wrote a few years ago my fear that someone would realize that the way to solve the economic situation we are in is to find a way to activate the SV40 virus that all baby boomers have thanks to the polio vaccine into cancer and wipe out the BBer's in their 60's and 50's, you would instantly make SS and Medicare solvent again, and clearing out 50 million boomers would provide massive job openings for earlier generations and illegal carpetbaggers.

Now he documents how it's all been planned, documents in reliable journals and papers.  This isn't common sense show crap here folks.

Another reason to stay the hell away from flu shots and vaccines, though if government were smart they'd be putting it in chips and beer.

Well, rents in Fort Collins area are up 16% this year, you literally cannot find a 1 bedroom apartment in this area for less than 1k, unless you are qualifying for subsidized housing.  And now they are going to build a nice big 300+ complex on the east side of the city, for subsidized people.  We are watching the death of the middle class in Colorado.  You either make enough to by a 400k house or you are the saxons who live in subsidized housing to serve the meals, clean the houses, wash the cars etc.  And this is happening throughout the state.  There is less and less middle ground and here I am stuck for at least another year and a half, maybe two and a half.  Can't rent elsewhere with the bankruptcy for 3 years and next year when my rent goes up it will officially take up one of the entire paychecks each month.  But, I make too much to live in a subsidized apartment complex, not that I would necessarily want to live there.  Or, I could take in a roommate!  Wouldn't that be fun.  Two middle aged men living together, no rumors there.  Maybe I could find a nice college girl for 1/4 of the rent if she cooks and cleans too.

But is this where we are headed as a country?  The haves and have nots, with the haves weeding out and forcing more and more into the have nots?  I am opening a savings account next week, putting 300 to 500 a month in it to build up a nest egg, but the reality of understanding I will never have enough money to retire on sunk in deeply.  Not to mention never buying a new car again, now I just want to have enough in savings to protect myself from the inevitable dismissal from a job that I suspect is going to become a regular occurrence for baby boomers moving forward.  Buying ten year old cars every 5 years, struggling and knowing there are millions out there who have figured out how to live for free off the government, with food stamps, housing subsidies, welfare, free medical, dental, which is why 30% of every paycheck I earn disappears before it hits my checking account.  My state and local taxes will be going up to help pay for those residents of the subsidized apartment complex that by being built will end up, somehow, raising my rent again and again.

Maybe Styx were right, maybe this is all some sort of grand illusion.

Said the straight man to the late man
Where have you been
I've been here and I've been there
And I've been in between.

I talk to the wind
My words are all carried away
I talk to the wind
The wind does not hear
The wind cannot hear.

I'm on the outside looking inside
What do I see
Much confusion
All around me.

You don't possess me
Don't impress me
Just upset my mind
Can't instruct me or conduct me
Just use up my time

I talk to the wind
My words are all carried away
I talk to the wind
The wind does not hear
The wind cannot hear.

King Crimson

Sunday, December 6, 2015


So,got an email this week with what I thought was an interesting metaphor.

There is a large bowl with 10,000 M&M's in it - but there are ten M&M's in the bowl that are poisonous-how many pieces will you eat from the bowl?

I mean, come on, one per 1,000,  .001 probability of picking one that is poison.  Let your kids have some, no?

While this metaphor is meant for middle eastern immigration, I am going to use it for another topic.  Kierkegaard.

Soren Kierkegaard is a very misunderstood and maligned theologian in modern thought and for two reasons: no one actually READS what he wrote and the meaning of words change.

Kierkegaard 's thesis involves objective truth and subjective truth and the above metaphor explains it well.   Objective truth is sitting in font of your computer contemplating the non hypothesized bowl - subjective truth would be sitting in front of the actual bowl and actually choosing an M&M.

The issue or mistake many make is defining subjective as relative, meaning truth is relative.   What Kierkegaard really said is it is relative to your position, it is not the truth that is relative, but the subject that is relative to truth.

Kierkegaard's point was to the church - people who objectively 'know' God: they know the verses, they know the doctrine, but they don't subjectively know God.

So maybe the reason evangelicals don't like Kierkegaard is not a definition, but maybe his writings are a punch to their gut.  Look at what is preached from the pulpits today, baptists can't drink, know the creeds, tithe; do the acts.

This morning tens of millions of people will be in church, but when they exit, if they found Arabs or the government outside the building, and gave them the choice to recant or die, what would happen?

Well, besides Kierkegaard smiling down from heaven saying "now, you get it ".