This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Monday, September 21, 2015


Well, the first casualty of Trump is Scott Walker.  Or, maybe not, because let's face it, where would you rather spend the next 4 years, in Wisconsin or Washington DC?  Frankly, when you are boss of a state like Wisconsin, just stay home, why would you want to live in DC?

So now two of my five choices are out, I tell you, I seriously suck at picking candidates, almost as bad as picking boxing matches which I think I'm like 3 wins 230 losses, though I still will argue till the cows come home that Hagler beat Sugar Ray.

Been thinking about things lately.  Like technology.  Don't you love that Apple's IOS is encrypted, your data is encrypted, and Apple doesn't have the key?  Or that Apple Pay, which I never used, Apple didn't setup the system to make like 1/2 a cent from every transaction?

Then you have Google and Microsoft bending over forwards to provide the federal government and any company with whatever data they can collect on you.  Which is why when users of Androids or other phones make fun of iPhones, I just say everything you texted today, every page you surfed, every email you sent was provided by your phone maker to the federal government and whatever corporation wanted to pay for it.  That is a really great feature iPhone users don't have.....

But what about surfing?  Do you realize the control Google has over us?  It's not this wide open library of knowledge at our fingertips, it's this narrow decision made by Google as to what they will show us.  And since studies show over 90% of searches never get beyond the first page; you are getting what pleases Google's political programmers and whom pays google the most.

Even some of the other 'private' browsers like Duck and Startpage are basically Google searches, they just hid your identity so Google doesn't know it's you, unless Google's figured out a way around it and hasn't told anyone.

ixquick is a different search engine and there are a couple of more, but 90% of users are using Google, Bing, or Yahoo, which means Big Brother type controls on the information you get.

You can always download Tor and surf the underbelly of the internet, the stuff that doesn't show up commercially or you can't see in Safari, Firefox, IE, etc.  But it is the underbelly, it's where real evil exists, where rules do not, and you can buy anything, drugs, slaves, assassins, you name it; it's living in the Dark Net.

Universities use to be the bastion of free thought, libraries full of books most public libraries would not carry, but now it's done a flip flop.  Universities are so politically correct now and public libraries which once would not stock Tropic of Cancer now offer free internet access to all the porn you want to look at.  The magnetic poles may not have flipped yet, but the brain poles sure have.

Well, tomorrow it looks like a chapter finally closes; my bankruptcy hearing is in the morning.  So I can finally put the final chapter of caretaking behind me and go thru life with a scarlet letter on my forehead.  Just hope I don't need a car or job in the next 3 years; but it will be nice to put 500 a month away and build up 6 months of emergency money, then save up for a new used car in 4 years, and maybe save up for retirement when I'm like 80 because I won't be able to afford it before then.  I wonder if my employer would let me keep working to 80?  Heck, what am I thinking, I worry they won't keep me around till Xmas!  So many rules to break and bend.

Wanted to start up again on Masters in Theology but the school changed systems and now no longer send out DVD's and give you 4 months, now it's all online and scheduled for x weeks and only start at certain times so I may look elsewhere to finish if any of my imaginary readers cares.

And that's all folks

Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble,
Ancient footprints are everywhere.
You can almost think that you're seein' double
On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs.
Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,
Where I've got me a date with Botticelli's niece.
She promised that she'd be right there with me
When I paint my masterpiece.

Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum,
Dodging lions and wastin' time.
Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see 'em,
Yes, it sure has been a long, hard climb.
Train wheels runnin' through the back of my memory,
When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese.
Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody
When I paint my masterpiece.

Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola.
Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!

I left Rome and landed in Brussels,
On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried.
Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' muscles,
Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside.
Newspapermen eating candy
Had to be held down by big police.
Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent
When I paint my masterpiece.

Bob Dylan