This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


So, we have another example of progress not always being progress.

Seems VW has designed their computer systems in the car to behave one way when it's hooked up to the machines states use to reduce air pollution on cars and behave another way the rest of the time.  The world is shocked, outraged, the CEO is resigning in disgrace - and I'm betting a few other auto manufacturers are scrambling behind the scenes to remove same software from their cars as soon as possible.

This is what happens when we trust computers.

About 20 years or so ago, the industry was shocked to discover some of the Japanese cars which had such great results in the crash tests we run absolutely totally failed a new test they didn't know was coming - they were building the safety of the car to pass the tests, not really protect the occupants of the cars.  After months of claiming the tests were faulty, it was evident that those safe little rice cars were not nearly so safe.

Of course, back to computers, we now have electronically controlled acceleration, breaking, steering, and all other sorts of improvements which mean you, the driver, really don't have control of the car like you think you do if it suddenly starts to accelerate, break, or steer which ever way the computer software is telling it to do.  Then blame the floor mats because of course, the computers cannot be wrong.

And now we learn all these cool computer driven machines are totally hackable.  Progress ain't always progress.

A few years ago, I probably wrote a few pieces at my disgust for James Winston, the QB at some Florida college who apparently, we will say probably for legal reasons, raped a young woman and the police and school rallied around the football player because he was seriously good, good enough to win the Heisman Trophy that year.  Poor girl was ridiculed, left the school.  Now we have schools passing these new rules in CO that if a woman accuses a man of rape, that student, the male, will be immediately dismissed from the school and banned from campus.

Though I bet if he is a really good football or basketball player there will be an exception.

So how do we move from a football player being protected by cops and school and the woman literally removed from the school to an accusation of rape being enough to kick a guy off campus and out of the school, where we were told recently they could go to another college while awaiting trial - like other schools will welcome said student with open arms.

But where all this is going is the saga of Patrick Kane, the hockey player.  Probably arguably the best player in hockey, who is accused of raping a woman at his home in Buffalo this summer.

Why do I want to give Kane the benefit of the doubt but immediately believed the woman in the Winston case?

First of all, all you imaginary ladies reading my blog, here is some advice: college and pro athletes are some of the most spoiled and entitled people on the planet.  They pass thru high school and college getting A's and B's without ever showing up for classes. Most have IQ's lower than their diastolic reading of their average blood pressure.  When you, a woman, go to the home or apartment of said athlete, they are not thinking you are there to discuss Faust or particle physics.  You are there for sex, because that is the limit to their vocabulary.

But back to Kane versus Winston.  Why does part of me hope Kane didn't rape the woman, that it's a honey trap of some sort but immediately sided with the woman against Winston?  Kane has money, Winston, at that point in time, did not.  Kane is white, Winston is black.  Is that it?

Do I immediately assume Winston, the black dude, raped the woman, who's color I don't know?  Do I assume Kane, the white guy, might not have raped the woman, who's color I don't know?

I don't know, but it's been bugging the crap out of me for weeks.  If I decide in my mind now Kane is guilty, in order to be logically consistent, I am convicting him by race also.  So either way, it's racist.

Thinking can sometimes be a trying habit.

In this our life on earth
Another dawn we face
Is this the moment of truth
For the whole human race
Is that the last man down
Is that the last life laid to waste
Can we find in our hearts
Each and every dream we've misplaced
Before heaven cries tears
On the mountain we climb

Farewell to arms
Rest in peace
May the rain of freedom be released
Farewell to arms
We just can't walk away
We're all sharing this earth at the end of the day

Greg Lake

Monday, September 21, 2015


Well, the first casualty of Trump is Scott Walker.  Or, maybe not, because let's face it, where would you rather spend the next 4 years, in Wisconsin or Washington DC?  Frankly, when you are boss of a state like Wisconsin, just stay home, why would you want to live in DC?

So now two of my five choices are out, I tell you, I seriously suck at picking candidates, almost as bad as picking boxing matches which I think I'm like 3 wins 230 losses, though I still will argue till the cows come home that Hagler beat Sugar Ray.

Been thinking about things lately.  Like technology.  Don't you love that Apple's IOS is encrypted, your data is encrypted, and Apple doesn't have the key?  Or that Apple Pay, which I never used, Apple didn't setup the system to make like 1/2 a cent from every transaction?

Then you have Google and Microsoft bending over forwards to provide the federal government and any company with whatever data they can collect on you.  Which is why when users of Androids or other phones make fun of iPhones, I just say everything you texted today, every page you surfed, every email you sent was provided by your phone maker to the federal government and whatever corporation wanted to pay for it.  That is a really great feature iPhone users don't have.....

But what about surfing?  Do you realize the control Google has over us?  It's not this wide open library of knowledge at our fingertips, it's this narrow decision made by Google as to what they will show us.  And since studies show over 90% of searches never get beyond the first page; you are getting what pleases Google's political programmers and whom pays google the most.

Even some of the other 'private' browsers like Duck and Startpage are basically Google searches, they just hid your identity so Google doesn't know it's you, unless Google's figured out a way around it and hasn't told anyone.

ixquick is a different search engine and there are a couple of more, but 90% of users are using Google, Bing, or Yahoo, which means Big Brother type controls on the information you get.

You can always download Tor and surf the underbelly of the internet, the stuff that doesn't show up commercially or you can't see in Safari, Firefox, IE, etc.  But it is the underbelly, it's where real evil exists, where rules do not, and you can buy anything, drugs, slaves, assassins, you name it; it's living in the Dark Net.

Universities use to be the bastion of free thought, libraries full of books most public libraries would not carry, but now it's done a flip flop.  Universities are so politically correct now and public libraries which once would not stock Tropic of Cancer now offer free internet access to all the porn you want to look at.  The magnetic poles may not have flipped yet, but the brain poles sure have.

Well, tomorrow it looks like a chapter finally closes; my bankruptcy hearing is in the morning.  So I can finally put the final chapter of caretaking behind me and go thru life with a scarlet letter on my forehead.  Just hope I don't need a car or job in the next 3 years; but it will be nice to put 500 a month away and build up 6 months of emergency money, then save up for a new used car in 4 years, and maybe save up for retirement when I'm like 80 because I won't be able to afford it before then.  I wonder if my employer would let me keep working to 80?  Heck, what am I thinking, I worry they won't keep me around till Xmas!  So many rules to break and bend.

Wanted to start up again on Masters in Theology but the school changed systems and now no longer send out DVD's and give you 4 months, now it's all online and scheduled for x weeks and only start at certain times so I may look elsewhere to finish if any of my imaginary readers cares.

And that's all folks

Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble,
Ancient footprints are everywhere.
You can almost think that you're seein' double
On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs.
Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,
Where I've got me a date with Botticelli's niece.
She promised that she'd be right there with me
When I paint my masterpiece.

Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum,
Dodging lions and wastin' time.
Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see 'em,
Yes, it sure has been a long, hard climb.
Train wheels runnin' through the back of my memory,
When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese.
Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody
When I paint my masterpiece.

Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola.
Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!

I left Rome and landed in Brussels,
On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried.
Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' muscles,
Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside.
Newspapermen eating candy
Had to be held down by big police.
Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent
When I paint my masterpiece.

Bob Dylan

Thursday, September 17, 2015


Well, I got good news and bad news.  The good news is CNN actually let people watch the debate last night from their web site without having a cable subscription!!!!  Take that Fox News, which requires a cable TV subscription to watch their channel.

Now for the bad news, CNN actually let people watch the debate last night.

I got to say, it was disappointing.  Paul, lost in the first couple of minutes when Trump attacked him saying he shouldn't be on the stage and Paul suddenly looked a lot like a Dan Quayle with that deer in the headlights thing.  Paul 'could' have come back and said CNN was confused, Donald, when if they only had the top 10 candidates then I wouldn't be here but if they went by top 10 republicans, then you wouldn't be here and then blast him with why he isn't a republican.  But, he didn't and while Paul came back later and helped toast Christie, Paul got burned and is through, the fat lady is singing.

When Paul tried to point out that Christie's saying he would march into Colorado and enforce federal laws on pot and Paul talked about medical pot and Christie said he is not talking about medical pot and I am thinking 'jeepers, are you really that stupid Jersey Boy?'  Medical pot is against federal laws and if you are going to enforce federal laws they you will enforce med pot ban.  But Christie was too slow on the uptake to get the point and if you are that slow, you are too slow to be prez.  And let's face it, Christie's highlight as governor was his bromantic walk on the beach with Obama.

Jeb Bush admitted to smoking pot and said 'sorry Mom'.  Nothing says presidential more that a 60 year old man apologizing to his mom for smoking pot as a teenager.  His best moment came after the debate or before the debate standing with all the other candidates and he was standing on his tippy toes to make himself even taller and tower over the rest.    I'm sorry, when the tallest guy in the group goes out of his way to make himself even taller it shows a serious shortness.  Or smallness.

First chance to see Ben Carson and I'm like 'huh'?  Weak weak weak.  I will give him benefit of doubt and another chance, but I put him last in the debate.  And I'm sorry, each time he talked I got this incredible craving for Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Huckabee, tried to show a little gosh golly Mayberry but his train left the station two or three elections ago.

Kasich, well, I do like the guy and he and Walker did what they had to last night, when they finally got the mic turned on, ignore the question and give your elevator speeches.  I think they both accomplished the goal, though Walker looked a little like the little guy you put in right field after picking sandlot teams.  But Walker and Kasich are the two of the bunch who are 1. sitting governors 2. successful sitting governors (thus eliminates Christie) and I am a big fan of republican governors in spite of Romney blowing the record of only one rep governor ever lost a presidential election - Dewey.  Well, now Dewey and Romney but seriously Romney was governor of MA, so does that really count?

Now, the one question that Walker absolutely aced the competition?  Secret Service nickname:  Harley - I'm sorry, that was seriously cool answer.  Dude rides a Harley.  Think about that: picture those embarrassing pictures of Obama riding his bicycle with the Atom Ant helmet and the ladies shorts; now replace that with Walker pulling up on his Harley and Putin is looking just a little femi.

Cruzy cracked me up right off the start; claiming his mom was Italian and Irish and his dad cuban which made me think 'golly, do we really need a drunk dago wetback?'  Irish Italian?  What do they do, mix sacrimental wine with Irish whisky?  I know, shoot my for my politically incorrect tongue but it was like he was sending a message, 'hey, I'm not totally south of the border, I'm Irish and Italian too'.

Rubio, well, I will admit he has more gravitos than I expected.  But I'm still not crazy about another 1st term senator.  It worked out so well the last 8 years.

But let's face it, those two are really jockeying, was that politically incorrect, for the vice presidential position and both would be excellent; and both carry a state with them though Rubio probably has the edge here because unless all the illegals are getting voting iD's, Texas is not much of a risk to go Democratic - I mean think about it, if Texas votes Hillary or Sanders, any question that elections are rigged goes completely out the window.  I'm much rather see a republican president with Cruz leading the senate, oh, man would that be cool.

Okay, so on to Carly and The Donald.

I still don't get the whole Trump thing.  He's Obama Rich.  He's Richy Rich.  He is all about me, me, me, I, I, I - just like Obama.  Obama can't tell you the weather without using the word "I" a dozen times and neither can Trump.  Ego 2.0.

Tell me one solid plan Trump offered on how he will fix things?  Go ahead, I'll wait.  All the speeches, name one.


Ever look out you window, babe
And wonder what was going down in the street below
Out where the four winds blow
Ever stand in the crossroads, babe
And know it didn't really matter which road you chose
Heaven knows
I'm a refugee from the mansion on the hill
And if you won't leave me I'll find somebody who will

Okay, musical interlude is over; name a Trump plan.  Nope, saying he's gonna ship 20 million illegals home is not a plan.  Might be a goal, but not a plan.

Finally, I think, is Carly.  She did good.  The whole drug debate was finished when she said she and her husband had to bury a kid addicted to drugs.  Story over.  Yet, I don't know, a little too serious?  Can you smile?  Is this a male chick thing where I'm holding her to a standard that I am not holding others on the circus to?  Could be, but the gal needs to crack a joke or two.  BUT, she really stuck it to Trump with the "woman heard what he said" line.

One thing, after 50 years, can we drop the whole gateway drug thing?  I don't know anyone who smoked pot that didn't drink first.  I know many smoked cigarettes before smoking pot the first time.  Why aren't they the 'gateway drugs'?  And I know millions who smoked pot never went on to coke, meth, heroin, pills, etc.  It's like this lie that everyone just accepts.

So, overall, I don't know who won.  I cringe that so many thought Trump won, but don't count the Drudge Report poll.  Did you know on the Drudge poll, if you have cookies off, you can vote over and over and over?  So that poll is a total joke.  I really wish the next debate would leave the circus out, maybe have Christie, Kasich, Walker, Carly, and the three senators and leave Famous Amos, the Ego, etc at home.

I do miss Rick Perry in all this.  I wonder if Perry is going to become a word like Borked.  The candidate pulled a Perry.  I was giving a presentation and pulled a Perry.

I can't wait for Trump to pull a Perry.

I had the shit till it all got smoked
I kept the promise till the vow got broke
I had to drink from the lovin' cup
I stood on the banks till the river rose up
I saw the bride in her wedding gown
I was in the house when the house burned down

I may be old and I may be bent
But I had the money till it all got spent
I had the money till they made me pay
Then I had the sense to be on my way
I had to stay in the underground
I was in the house when the house burned down

I was in the house when the house burned down
I met the man with the thorny crown
I helped Him carry his cross through town
I was in the house when the house burned down

Warren Zevon

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


So yesterday, Meg Whitmann announced another round of layoffs at Hewlett Packard.  Some 30,000 men and women are about to lose their jobs because HP is losing money, they are splitting into two different companies, they need to buy back stock, they need to see a positive movement in their stock.

Take your pick.

Only in America.  Announce you are laying off 30k men and women, 30k highly skilled men and women who will now be working the counter at 5 Guys, 30k men and women who just lost their pensions, retirement funds, education for their kids and the jackals and dingos on Wall Street say "let's buy their stock now'.

But, as always, the truth is they are not really eliminating 30k jobs.  If you read further in the story as part of the restructuring they will be moving those jobs to low cost countries.

Well, I suppose we should give HP credit, at least they didn't pull a Disney and bring in 30k foreigners to take over the jobs of the 30k americans right here in this country.

I have an idea, why don't americans get off the couch and burn their HP printers?  I junked mine several years ago after I opened a double kit of black ink cartidges for my printer and the printer informed me the ink had expired like it's made of milk or something.  So I picked up the printer and threw it in the dumpster and bought another brand.  That was over 20 years of being an HP printer customer that ended with that message.

I live in fear each day the company I work for is going to pull an HP and eliminate 20k US workers and move those jobs to Belize or India.  None of the younger workers think about it, but seen too much of it.

So, in my ghost campaign for president, I have a new idea.  (Imaginary readers now running for the hills, he has another idea).  Foreign goods payroll tax.

When a company lays off workers in the US and replaces them with slave labor, uh, I mean workers in Belize, India, etc, then we will charge them a foreign replacement worker payroll tax.  Take the jobs lost in US, multiply by 2080, for the total hours and then apply a hourly charge that goes directly to the fired workers - or rather than take cash the US no longer working person can have the company apply it to their still company paid for health insurance.

Kind of would take the incentive out of moving those jobs overseas.

How long can the American dream survive with globalization?  Oh, wait, globalization was not designed to kill the American dream, it was just collateral.

And so the raping of the middle class continues.  When will we learn?  When will the American Patriot close the wallet and say "we are not buying foreign goods any more.  you want us to buy a new TV, build it here.  You want us to buy new furniture, build it here.  You want us to buy it, build it here or we will just buy second hand."

Okay, back from dreamland.

Article of people trying to sell a kidney so they have the money for the new iPhone 6s Plus.  Wonder if they will be competing against HP engineers selling their kidneys for food.

Why is it, when these corporations try to hard to find cheap labor, that the C level jobs are never outsourced?  Do you really mean to tell me we can't find some smart guy or gal in India that could run HP into the ground as quickly as Whitman has for 1/4 of the cost?

I bet Limbaugh has stock in HP, he still probably thinks globalization has been great.  All those middle class americans who lost their jobs and have nothing to do but listen to his show each afternoon must have been great for his ratings.

Here is hoping Rand Paul, Scott Walker, or others find a set of balls tonight and take on Trump.  Explain that Trump is not the solution to the problem, Trump is part of the problem.  Trump for years has bragged all the money he sent politicians, mostly democrats, to buy favors.  But, no TV, so will be reading a book.

Dr. Filth, he keeps his world
Inside of a leather cup
But all his sexless patients
They're trying to blow it up
Now his nurse, some local loser
She's in charge of the cyanide hole
And she also keeps the cards that read
"Have Mercy on His Soul"
They all play on penny whistles
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough
From Desolation Row.
Across the street they've nailed the curtains
They're getting ready for the feast
The Phantom of the Opera
In a perfect image of a priest
They're spoonfeeding Casanova
To get him to feel more assured
Then they'll kill him with self-confidence
After poisoning him with words
And the Phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Get outa here if you don't know"
Casanova is just being punished for going
To Desolation Row.

At midnight all the agents
And the superhuman crew
Come out and round up everyone
That knows more than they do
Then they bring them to the factory
Where the heart-attack machine
Is strapped across their shoulders
And then the kerosene
Is brought down from the castles
By insurance men who go
Check to see that nobody is escaping
To Desolation Row.

Bob Dylan

Tuesday, September 15, 2015


Well, here we are, September 15th, last day of Jade Helm.  As far as I know, John Moore, Dave Hodges and others have not been assassinated, have not been picked up in the middle of the night and taken to FEMA camps and disappeared.

I've been following this Jade Helm thing for quite some time.  When you listen to shows - oh wait, I forgot, I have to say this - Alex Jones is not part of this, he actually has been saying all summer it's not the big deal people are making it out to be and since I have been known to make fun of -wait, commercial break to sell my his line of multi level marketing vitamins here "Tangy Tangerine III, all the nutrients your body needs in one godawful tasting blend that makes Tang taste like a fine French wine - where was I, oh yea, fun of Alex Jones over the years I will say here he is not part of this.

Where was I before humbling myself...... oh yea, when you listen to the shows from last Jan-Mar, they are all gung ho this is the end, my only friend Doors end of the world as we know it.  Come April, you heard some softening of, 'well, maybe this is a test run to see how public reacts' or the possibility it's designed to put people in position to deal with an economic collapse, though why they think only the south and the west will overreact to a complete economic meltdown and states like MI, MN, VT etc will not.  I was open to the possibility that there was some known geo astronomical sort of event they know about and were getting ready for it.

This just in, John Moore announced that he talked to an unnamed sources who use to work with a guy who's mom use to date another guy who's brother's uncle's wife's third cousin plays poker with a member of the same Rotary Club as a guy who's son's wife's brother is a Texas State Trooper who was told to pack his emergency kit in the trunk and expect to be away for a long period of time.

Let's face it, if Hollywood disaster movies taught us anything it's that the governments will hide said events to the last possible moment to give humanity it's best chance of survival - also can be defined as people with lots of money and power their best chance to hide and protect their collective asses.

Of course, there are lots of people very nervous about September with blood moons and all, and you can't turn on a web browser without some economic wizard predicting the complete collapse of money, stock, silver, gold, bonds, insurance, Apple stock, the food supply, and Brian Williams is reporting all this after having been wounded by the mystery bullet fired from the grassy knoll at the Kennedy assassination.

Of course, the ace in the hole in all this end of the world stuff is President Numb Nuts.  As some of my long term imaginary readers know, I don't like the guy - wait, Dave Hodges has just announced an anonymous member of his family who knows a person who works with a guy who's wife's cousin's brother in law works with a woman who's aunt's neighbors son is in special forces that the whole Jade Helm was a false flag to cover up the problems with the Google car - where was I, the stories are coming fast and furious now, and I know since Al Gore invented the internet and the masses bought Windows 95 and AOL disks were installed that Clinton was going to be the last president and then Bush was going to be the last president and now rumors are flying the Obama is going to start a war or something so that he will have to stay in office but frankly I think he is looking forward to retiring to his  Magnum PI home in Hawaii where he can get stoned and screw little boys the way he's screwed the middle class, for the next 20 years.

This just in, Doug and Joe Hagmann have just announced the.... no, not going to do it, always have a soft spot in my heart for them - they were one of two radio shows I was on when I published my book and not going to make fun of them, I am really sorry they got caught up with Hodges and Leal and all this Jade Helm crap.

Now, here is the rub.  Do I think this nation is headed for a God wrath all heck breaking loose moment, you betcha.  I think Numb Nuts is doing his best to totally destroy this country - not only is he opening the border for massive number of illegal aliens to flood over the border, but did you see we've been allowing like 275,000 immigrants from middle eastern countries each year since Obama's been in office, well, certain types of middle eastern people, we don't allow those persecuted Christians from middle east countries entry, just the Islamic persecutors and terror friendly sorts.

Do you have any idea what the plan is, the way Europe is being absolutely flooded right now?  Did you see that recently rape in Norway in 2014 was up over 100% and, are you sitting down, every rape in Norway on reported last year was committed by a middle eastern import?  That in Sweden over 80% of the rapes were done by Arab men?  And as we flood this country, not with educated law abiding hard working people who want to achieve the American dream but people wanting to rob steal and destroy the American dream, what do you think is going to happen?

The point is, we are in trouble but people like Moore and Hodges who make their living selling fear and end of the world supplies are part of the problem.  They keep yelling, this is it, the sky is falling, and then nothing happens.  As time goes on, fewer and fewer people are going to prepare, fewer and fewer people are going to listen, and then when it finally does fall, millions more will die.  Almost makes a guy wonder if that is not their real job.

This country will not survive the massive influx of people who have no interest in becoming Americans.  We are a nation of immigrants, who came here for a better life and the first thing they did was learn English and raise their kids to be proud Americans.  Now they come here and don't learn the language, expect Americans to learn their language, expect Americans to celebrate their holidays - quick tip here - if you want Americans to celebrate your countries holiday, it has to be a holiday that promotes heavy consumption of beer; and eventually this country is going to split like the Soviet Union was split.

A wise person would be making plans for how this country is going to split as soon as possible and start gathering folks with like minds to start planning it.  Colorado, by the way, is for the most part lost to liberals now.  Oh, you can own a gun, you can even open carry a gun in Colorado, but most town have laws if you actually fire your gun in the city limits, you are a lawbreaker.  It's kind of like giving drivers licenses to people then arresting them for driving their cars, which is illegal.

Wait, hold on, just got a call, holy crap!  My old college roommate just called and a guy he use to work for called him because his college roommate is married to a gal who's brother works for the Canadian government and he just heard from his brother in law's son that the Toronto Maple Leafs are moving to northern Chile to avoid the Russian invasion of Canada this fall so they can launch a four prong attack on Chicago and capture all the deep dish pizza restaurants!  Which is certainly timely as I introduce my new line of freeze dried deep dish pizza for the end of the world preppers so we can enjoy authentic deep dish pizza during the Zombie Wars.  Each pizza is carefully prepared with only the finest ingredients I could find at Sam's Club and each pizza is fully baked and then freeze dried in one of those cool devices I got from a cable TV commercial where I got two for the price of one with just additional shipping and handling.  Just pop into the special steam cooker which you can also buy at my web site and in 30 minutes the freeze dried deep dish pizza, sealed to last 30 years guaranteed, chuckle,  and fits in your front pocket, will cook and expand to a large deep dish pizza you and your fellow survivors will be able to enjoy on a Friday night.  And if you order just 100 of my freeze dried deep dish Chicago pizzas, we will include at no extra charge the steam cooker and 10 packets of dried red pepper, just pay shipping and handling charges.

I want the sun to shine on me
I want the truth to set me free
I wish the followers would lead
with a voice so strong it could knock me to my knees

Hold on world 'cause you don't know what's coming
Hold on world 'cause I'm not jumping off
Hold onto this boy a little longer
Take another trip around the sun

If I jumped into the ocean to believe
If I climbed a mountain would I have to reach?
Do I even dare to speak?--to dream?--believe?
Give me a voice so strong
I can question what I have seen

Hold on world 'cause you don't know what's coming
Hold on world 'cause I'm not jumping off
Hold onto this boy a little longer
Take another trip around the sun


Monday, September 14, 2015


One day a slave went to the market in town to buy supplies.  While in the market he accidentally bumped into an old woman and turn to say he was sorry.  When he looked in her face, he saw she had a surprised look on her face but he recognized her as Death.  The slave was shocked and turned and ran as fast as he could back to his home.

He told his master what happened, he met Death at the market and had to get away.  The master provided him a horse and supplies and told him to ride as fast as he could to Samarra.  Later that afternoon, the master went to the market and when he spied the old lady he walked up to her and asked her if she came for his favorite slave and if not, why did she scare him half to death.

Death looked at the master and admitted when she turned and saw him, she was quite surprised.  "How come?" asked the master.  "Well," Death replied, "I have an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."

We can't escape our fate.

Being a caretaker, I somehow became very fatalistic in my outlook on life.  It's a confusing way to live.

It's not the simple sort of "if life is determined, why should I do anything" philosophy.  It's more a "make your choices but understand you have no control" philosophy.  Most people have this illusion of control.  The more they plan their day, their week, their life, the stronger the illusion.  I'm sure many of the men and women who died on the planes on 9/11 were people who thought they controlled their lives - which is why when such events arise, most people are unable to move - they are not afraid, they are totally mind blown because their carefully controlled lives and worldview just got destroyed - like Saul on the road to Damascus.

One of my favorite characters in a TV show was Chris on Northern Exposure.  One episode radios started disappearing from cars and trucks and when Ed figured out Chris was doing it, Chris explained he wanted to remind people we live in chaos, that control is an illusion.

We really have no control over our lives, our living or dying.  Yes, we can choose to run instead of smoke, drink water not scotch - or drink scotch and water and think they balance out.  But has you go about your day, following your Franklin Planner (anyone still use a Franklin Planner?) a meteor could be barreling down on Earth, a drunk could be approaching the red light, your company C executives could be deciding to replace you with a foreign worker, your government could be deciding to start a world war.  We live thinking, reasonably, that today will be pretty much like yesterday, tomorrow pretty much like today.  We are lulled into a sense of security that really does not exist.

The slave in the story took action to avoid Death, never knowing his action was pointing exactly to the appointment.  Could the slave have not ridden to Samarra?  No, and therein lies the rub.  Free choice, the illusion of free choice, was not free choice, but determined - he was bound to ride to Samarra, where he would meet his fate.  Judas, the night of the Last Supper, what if when Jesus said to him do what you will to do, what if Judas and fallen to his knees, confessed his sin, and asked forgiveness?  The whole prophecy required the betrayal, on that night, to happen.  Did Judas have a chance?  What disciple would have then had to betray Jesus to keep the prophecy?  Or was Judas born to betray.  Just as the blind man in John 9, who was born blind, who live decades blind, just so on that day Jesus could cure the blindness to glorify God.  Each were born to a predetermined destiny.  Did God punish Judas to Hell for what he did or thank him for being part of the play?

And eventually you have to ask, "what destiny was I born for?".  Did the blind man, with new sight, ask himself that question, that was my purpose, to spend 30 some years blind so God could show off?  So now what?  Once that happened, purpose is served, so now what does he do?

Two years past being a caretaker and I have no purpose.  Take care of mom, take care of dad.  Nothing else mattered.  Was that the purpose to my life?  So now what?  Seems for over a year my purpose was to reach the point where I could file bankruptcy and then, should be done in a week, and then start saving money to retire when I'm 80?  That is it?  No wife, no kids, few friends.  Just get out of bed each day and walk the dog, feed the dog, work and do it all over again.

When the wonder of sight wore off, what did become of that blind man, who realized the purpose to his life was to suffer so God could show off.  How did he continue when he thought his purpose was served.  Did he find a purpose?  Did God use him again?  What of Ananias, one of my favorite stories in the Bible, where God tells him to find Saul, the killer of Christians, and explain the Gospel to him and Ananias did as he was told and we never hear of him again.  A moment in time and life that went on, for what?

And there is the rub, can we really ever know our purpose?  Is this portion of my life just the still waters I so often prayed for when taking care of my dad?  Am I not appreciating the still waters?  And if this is the still waters, what, pray tell, comes next - what preparing for that future am I not doing that I should be doing, while complaining about the still waters I so once desired.

Our purpose and our lives are not in our control.  Maybe that is the point of Ecclesiastes, not the vanity, vanity, all is vanity that so many remember, but do you remember the end?  Fear God and follow His commandments, for this is the whole of man.  For God will bring every work into judgment, including everything that has been overlooked, whether it be good or evil.

I'm feeling so alone now
They cut the telephone uh huh
Yeah my life is just a mess
I threw it all away now
I could have made a fortune
I lost the craving for success

And as the acrobats they tumble
So the corn begins to crumble
While in the mirror
She admires a brand new dress

Live on the second floor now
They're trying to bust the door down
Soon I'll have a new address
So much for liberation
They'll have a celebration
Yeah I've been under too much stress

And as the cloud begin to rumble
So the juggler makes his fumble
And the sun upon my wall is getting less

Don't, give a damn
Fight, while you can
Kill, shoot 'em up
They'll run amuck
Shout, Judas
Loud, they'll hear us
Soldier, sailor

They'll run for cover when they discover
Everyone's a nervous wreck now
I used to think she was so nimble
Would have bought her as symbol
But now I can't afford the pen to sign her checks
Don't give a damn............................

They'll run for cover when they discover
Everyone's a nervous wreck now
Life's just a bummer they got your number
We'll give as good as we get now
Rise from the gutter, stick with each other
We'll drive 'em over the edge now
They're gonna bleed, that's what they need
We'll get together and blow their cover


Monday, September 7, 2015


I didn't really comment on what happened a while back down in Texas where they held a Mohammad cartoon contest and a couple of ragheads showed up armed but not really understanding, you are in Texas where children are given their first gun for graduating from Kindergarten and so they bit the big one because one Texas cop can outshoot two Islamic terrorists with one eye closed.

Unless, of course, you sneak up behind the Texas cop while he's filing his gas tank and unload your gun into him.

But this is what I wanted to talk about.  For over 40 years, Christians in this country have had to put up with artists, cartoonists, screen writers and Hellywood making fun of Jesus, dipping crucifixes in urine, mocking Jesus, making fun of Christians.  And any time we raised a voice about it, we were told, "hey, first amendment protects artists, authors, screen writers and cartoonists" and if we censor their work where will it stop?

Well, for the most part, Christians dropped out.  Stopped going to the movies, stopped watching the TV, stopped reading the papers, stopped spending their money.  The 'we can't stop you from saying it but we don't have to listen to it' theory of living.  Except, that is how evil gains control.

So this is what I don't get.  The same liberal brain farts that have said that for forty years, supporting artists, cartoonists, authors, screen writers who made fun of Christ  are the same liberal brain farts who are attacking, not the Islamic Terrorists, but the cartoonists making fun of Mohammad claiming THEY are at fault here.

See, liberals are very brave in attacking Christianity because they know Christians will not abduct them on the street, shoot them, rape them, or just skip the foreplay and just cut their heads off on 5th Ave or Hollywood Blvd.  So they have no issue making clever, knowing laughter, gosh how cutting edge you are comments about Jesus or Christians.

But they will not make fun of Islam or Mohammad because they would piss in their pants facing those consequences.

Liberal hypocrisy at it's pinnacle.  It's free speech to mock Jesus but not free speech to mock Mohammad.  Liberals are a very confusing species.  Some gal on the internet who is apparently pretty famous internet comedian just made a video making fun of fat people and is being attacked for it.  I watched it this morning, might have been even funnier if she could expand her use of adjectives beyond the F word, but I realized apparently what really would send a liberal into cardiac arrest would be a comedian making fun of a FAT MOHAMMAD.  So free speech does have limits, making fun of illegal aliens, gays, fat people, or Islam is wrong; making fun of working people, straights, normal sized Christians is art and free speech.

In fact, if you made speech or art of a fat, gay, Mohammad, that would cause liberals across the nation to totally stroke out, putting Jesus on a cross in a jar of urine is artistically brilliant and deep.

I would go on, but really don't care anymore.  We are about to sign up a seriously cool treaty with Iran where if I understand, Iran will be able to move forward with their nuke program, no American reviews or monitoring, we will give them billions of dollars and they promise not to use the by products to produce nuclear weapons and not to nuke Israel during the fall when the World Series and elections might be impacted.

God is not a happy God right now people and His patience with this country is probably at an end.  It's not going to be pretty, but once God's judgement falls on this country, those that survive at least won't have to listen to those stupid logically devoid airheaded liberal comments anymore which sounds like a deal to me.  I am for any God solution that will mean never listening to stupid liberal logic again.

When I was young
It seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees
they'd be singing so happily
Joyfully, oh, playfully watching me

But then they sent me away
To teach me how to be sensible
Logical, responsible, practical
And then they showed me a world
Where I could be so dependable
Clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world's asleep
The questions run too deep for such a simple man
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned?
I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am

I said, Now watch what you say,
they'll be calling you a radical
A Liberal, fanatical, a criminal
Won't you sign up your name
We'd like to feel you're
Acceptable, respectable,
presentable, a vegetable
Oh, ch-ch-check it out yeah

At night when all the world's asleep
The questions run so deep for such a simple man
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned?
I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am
Who I am, who I am, who I am

'Coz I'm feeling so illogical
Oh, oh, oh, oh
B-b-bloody marvelous



Fortunately, I have the day off, not because my company closes for Labor Day but because, well, I get Monday's off right now.

But I think every American should take a moment today to honor the illegal aliens that make this country go.  The men and women who snuck into this country over the last 30 years to take middle class paying union jobs and turn them all into minimum wage jobs 'americans' are unwilling to do.  To replace the middle class backbone of this country with a minimum wage lower class.

Now it's not really the fault of these workers, I mean if you were living in some third word cesspool with cardboard walls and time roofs and no running water and sewage running down the streets and you could escape that to live in America, wouldn't you do it?  Interesting question since one day we, born and raised in America, may actually be leaving this country to go to another country and start over.  But don't try to go to Mexico, they have really strict rules about illegal aliens in Mexico, throw them in jail, rob 'em, beat 'em, rape 'em, and then send them back to their country of origin.

Interesting, Robem, Beatem, and Rapem is the name of the law firm handling my bankruptcy.

Remember me, my few remaining imaginary readers, writing a blog on Disney and their firing of IT personnel to replace them with foreign workers under that H1-B Visa program, you know the one that states in the first paragraph BUSINESS CANNOT USE THIS H1-B VISA PROGRAM TO REPLACE EXISTING AMERICAN WORKERS and Disney, Pacific Power and all the other companies are using it to replace existing highly trained and highly paid US workers with low paid foreign workers because obviously Americans are too lazy to want to do computer programming, systems analysis, systems support, network administration, etc.

Oh, the point, one of them wrote the following piece which you should read:


Most of my life, I've been anti Union.  They got so corrupt and so powerful.  I remember doing the network and installing accounting software for a firm in Michigan that did heavy highway and they forked over 30k a month to the union for the employees.  And this was 1990 when 30k was a lot of money, a single guy could have a nice apartment, nice car, and cash on 30k back in 1990.  The funny thing was they said for 1/2 that 30k, they could provide all their employees a better health plan, better retirement plan, better benefits than the union, but in MI if you ain't union you ain't working.

Yet, the 40 hour work week, the sick pay, days off, etc are all around because of the union, so we really do owe them a nod.  And I wonder if we need more today.  Why are no boycotts or strikes going on at Disney for what they did?    Why aren't IT workers nationwide boycotting Disney and their products?  Well, cause we don't care.  As long as it's not affecting us it's not our problem.  So company by company, the jobs are disappearing to illegal workers, H1- B workers.  Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't start outsourcing our military soon, filling the Navy and Marines with russian and chinese young men because Americans are too lazy to play soldier other than on Gameboy.

One by one, the dominos fall.  But hey, I'm being mean, you are getting ready to grill your GMO fed steak, GMO corn on the cob, the GMO baked beans, all picked by illegal aliens and driven to the store by foreign truck drivers while kicking back enjoying a micro brew.  Sorry to rain on your Labor Day picnic.

They don't need you around here anymore
They made all their money now they're closing up the door
You should feel lucky that you've had a job for so long
They say you should have saved while you were still working so suck it up and be strong

They asked you to take a 12% reduction in pay
You said that you would do it but then they closed down anyway
Their 7 digit salaries never were at risk
Although the company was in the red their bonuses were never affected

So get the family together this is a holiday
Put the burgers on the barbecue and pray it don't rain
The tough times are over cause the bad times are here
I pray we don't lose those I wish I could escape just drowning in my beer
Never fear - Labor Day

Hudson Falcons