This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, February 1, 2015


Last spring and early summer, I watched the Battlestar Galactica series from Sci Fi.  I'd owned it for several years but it became like some soap opera, As The Universe Turns or All My Galaxy's in season  three and I never finished it.  Last May and June I did watch it all the way through.  It got better.

I thought of it the other day, after reading an article in the news.  It always worries me the way everything we have is computerized and electronic today.  Couple that to the fact that all the chips are manufactured in China.  From our war planes, aircraft carriers, submarines, anti this or that systems, they all depend on chips made in China.  Now, if China was our benevolent friend, or BFF in modern terms, it would be one thing.  But I don't think China views us as our friend, just a necessary evil they have to play with until they can wipe us out one day.

When the Cylons attack the humans in Battlestar, they pretty much wipe out most of them by hacking into the defense shields and shutting it down, then they turn off all the electronics on the raptors and battlestars making them helpless and easy pickings.

Why do our leaders not see the future?  One day when China is ready, our ships, planes, subs, and defense shields will be neutralized with a single command.  One day Americans will survive with revolvers, lever action rifles, and good old stuff.  We will make knives and arrowheads from system boards and glue the chips upside down to our gloves to cut whatever we hit.

Anyways, the other day there was an article where the US government is once again outsourcing - this time it's going to be the 911 system will be using Russian satellites to relay information - so consequently when the Russians and Chinese invade the US, we won't know it for hours because the satellites will fail to relay the information.

I am surprised our government allows us to lock our doors.

I wonder when we will be hiding in caves how many people will sit there thinking about all the movies and books that warned us but we blindly went forward, selling our infrastructure to foreign countries, selling our secrets, selling our souls.

How refreshing it would have been if some president, a Carter, or a Reagan had made the declaration long ago that business, manufacturing, and skills were a national security issue - that making computer chips, computers, phones, etc were not to be exported.  Sure, we could sell the finished products, just not the manufacturing, programming, building, and such.  FDR would have made that move, even Teddy.  But Clinton began the sell off, selling secrets to the Chinese, NAFTA, which really means Necessary Annihilation For The Americans, and other such deals.

Our government.  Ship tens of millions of jobs overseas, neuter our manufacturing base, allow 30 million illegal aliens into the country, who according to this administration have a right to a job - something Americans don't have, and you have 100 million native born americans who can't find jobs.

How's that Super Bowl going?

Eventually, more states will legalize pot, so that more people can just numb themselves to the downfall of this country and won't cause a stink when it's keys are finally given to the invaders.

Unfortunately, there are no star ships to escape to a new world, which is just as well, I'm sure we would screw that up just as badly as we screwed this one up.

Quick updates, did my pre bankruptcy class today online and afterwards chatted with a 'consultant' who suggested I could get a roommate.  They also showed I should move to an apartment for 750 a month, which actually is in the Fairly Land area of Fort Collins - in other words, doesn't exist, and that my food bill for one person should be no more that 310 bucks a month.

Three hundred bucks a month?  Are you serious?  What can I eat everyday for 310 a month besides McDonalds and chinese boxes of mac and fake cheese flavor?

But in the end the 'consultant' agreed bankruptcy was the best option, gee kid, thanks.

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Among the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold
Will you stay with me? Will you be my love?
Among the fields of barley
And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold

Eva Cassidy