This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


For those of us old enough to remember the falling of the Berlin Wall and the fall of the Soviet Union, that cry that rang out across America from every newspaper and news talking head, "what will we do with the peace dividend?"

Strange we don't hear that cry today.

During the Bush years, when the national debt doubled from 4 something to 9 trillion, we had two wars going balls to the wall in Iraq and Afghanistan, we had the cleanup of NY and the Pentagon; things that explained the spending.  Oh, yea, we had to bail out all the really wealthy people who gambled with money that wasn't theirs because they were 'too big to fail'.  So they survived, but all the little banks bit the dust and were taken over by those 'too big to fail' institutions so now they are twice the size they were in 2008.  But I digress.

Why is our yearly budget continuing to climb when we have for all practical purposes left Iraq and are leaving Afghanistan so they can both crumble like S, Vietnam did so many years ago.  Should our annual budget be being reduced by 500 billion to a trillion dollars?  But instead, instead of record revenue - read record tax collections from the middle class - our debt climbs ever higher.  Can anyone see the benefit?

Of course not silly.

When historians write the history and downfall of the United States, there will be so much fodder to wade through I hope one thing that is not lost on future historians is the military outsourcing.  We now have public companies, trading on the stock exchange, who make their millions from government contracts to provide  cities, buildings, food services, medical services, transportation services, weapons and contracted soldiers.  Do you really think these large contributors to the personal bank accounts of republicans and democrats are going to 'downsize', and suffer a few years of losses?  Not when our representatives are also stockholders in those companies.

There will be no peace dividend because new wars are being started to assure that many young americans will go off to fight, die, be disabled and then be forgotten when they return so large corporations will have huge profits in the coming years.

And the day is coming when a Google or Johnson and Johnson will go to war against competition with corporate soldiers, countries be damned.

All funded by Goldman Sachs no risk loans because any losses will just be covered by US Taxpayers.  Is it any wonder if the Apocalypse started tomorrow my only words will be "it's about time, God"?

Okay, and maybe "spare me, Oh God, so that I may serve You".

War is now big business and big profits for the companies that subcontract our military and offer sweet stock deals to the men and women who are in DC.  Heck, it may be our most valuable export anymore.

So the war drums are beating with the Ukraine, once that starts Syria will quickly be included and then Iran.  Invest in war to make good money.  The world needs a good world war with billions dead and then the reconstructions of countries can begin and low unemployment and high profits will be enjoyed by all those hiding in their bunkers.  Business no longer holds alliance to a country, who cares how many Americans buy iPhones, it's how many iPhones are sold - who buys them is no longer relevant.

I've also come to realize something else of late; the control of the internet.  To think that all this information is available to everyone at our fingertips, except the control of what information we see is now controlled.  Google decides what we will see, doesn't matter if you use Duck or Startpage, they use Google so once again Google will decide what information they want you to read just as about 6 companies decide what is show on news shows and in newspapers.  The freedom of information is an illusion, just as is privacy, thought and speech.

YouTube, which I think is now owned by Google, censors the information.  Not transparently, just subtle removals of information over time; same with Google search engines - the politically incorrect will slowly be removed from the net over time.  Oh, little ol' me isn't worried, no one reads my blog, but soon the politically incorrect will pay to play and play be certain rules and when that happens small individual voices will be slowly dropped one by one from the world.

But just as I gave up television because I was no longer comfortable with the mind control of the news, commercials and shows molding and dumbing us down, I know am wondering whether the internet is any better for someone.

And so it goes on and on

In the golden fields of yesterday
Where the children used to laugh and play
You can hear the sound of a hammer breaking steel
When you take more than you give, it never heals

I can see it rolling 'cross the sky
On the holy mountain side where eagles cry
Far from Earth below where poisoned rivers flow
Where I'm free to let my soul and spirit fly

This train won't stop, this train won't stop
Till we reach the end of the line