This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, January 25, 2015


I have this little physical defect.  I am missing cartilage in my eyelids and ears.  I can bend and twist my ears around and the problem with the eye lids comes during sleep when my face might sweep across the pillow and the act will lift the lids and my eyeball slides across; rarely wakes me, but the next morning my eye is burning, like a bad strawberry from a slide into a base except there are 10M more nerve endings in the eye than our knees or butt.

So today, I spend the first four hours up with ice or a wet cloth on my eye, but even this evening everything is really blurry, so forgive a typo or two tonite.

I yanked this picture off another blog, the picture on the left shows women in modern Iran, the picture on the right shows women in 1960 under the Shah.  But then I thought, what did young woman look, dress, and act like in the US in 1960 and how do they look, dress, and act today and how can I call that better than Iran?  Or an improvement?

Which brings me to today's chautauqua on evil.  Evil in our world.  I remember Bishop Sheen's quote that Satan is "I am who am not", that convincing people Satan doesn't exist is the best strategy.  Deny the existence of evil.

Yet who can look at the world and deny evil exists?  The orgs and goblins in LOTR, were they not representative of men with no souls?  Men for whom no act is too atrocious?  I remember about 10 or 15 years ago hearing of a story in the Chicago area where some guy and his girlfriend went over to the home of another woman the guy had knocked up and they killed the woman and cut the baby out of her, except in the other order, and I naively thought that has to be the worst thing I will ever hear someone do.

Where is evil get it's claws into so many people today?  Look, I don't mind the possibility of one day having to kill another human, shooting in self defense or even some sort of sense of justice; but where to people get the evil to torture?  Where do the mexican, central, and south american cartels find people who dismember people?  Burn them with blow torches while they are living?  Where do the Islamic terrorists go into villages and rape, plunder, and hack up men, women, children?  Drag families out and chop off heads?

Seriously, please tell me the difference between these acts and what the goblins and orgs do in LOTR?

Am I splitting hairs?  What of our torture of prisoners to get information?  Or bombing from 40,000 feet, indiscriminately killing the good and the bad?  Is that evil?  Yes, I get that.  Killing in and of itself is not the subject, it's the evil of enjoying viscousness, it's the acceptance of behavior.  It's mob mentality, mass hysteria; it's taking pleasure in bring others pain - not caring how one's actions affect others.

The main problem is most don't believe in Satan, let's start there.  If you don't believe in Satan, you don't believe in God, except that magic genie sort of God whom you only talk to when life is giving your problems and pretty much ignore when things are going well.  I will bet the farm there are people who rub a cross or crucifix thinking that will call Genie God.   It actually goes to the worldview or philosophy evolved, that humanity's free will determines everything.  There is no 'plan', there is no fate.  It's all cause/effect or the sum of all our 'choose, choose, choose'.  Satan loves the free will believers.

Almost as much, Lucifer loves the followers; those people he convinced that he is good and God is evil.  See, followers of Lucifer don't think he is bad, they think he is good!  He is the one that fought that evil overlord, Lucifer is the one that freed mankind by getting Adam and Eve to take the bite.  Open Pandora's Box, Prometheus stealing the fire from the gods.  They are viewed as the heroes, standing up to the gods.  Evil, to the followers of Lucifer, is good.   And Lucifer rewards the followers, like a dealer offering free samples of meth or heroin, until the person is addicted, and then the cost of evil is similar to the cost of heroin.

The lesson of LOTR, the ring cannot be used by good to defeat evil, the evil of the ring defeats the good.  We cannot use evil to defeat evil.  We cannot ignore or tolerate evil and hope it wishes to coexist.  Evil wants to win, never to coexist unless coexisting is the means to the end.  Thus Islam in Europe and North America will happily coexist, until it has the power to wipe out.  Good is tolerant, evil never is.

Somewhere in America's past, we became convinced we must tolerate a certain amount of evil.  It was rationalized, as in a woman's right to choose because it's her body, or tolerate 'alternative' sexual behavior, or seek to understand the differences and let them be who they are.  We threw away the rod and spoiled 3 generations of children; we let evil educate our children to where sexual education is taught to grade schoolers who are taught everything goes.

Evil must continually be defeated, never tolerated, never appeased.  Yet throughout history, time and time again, evil is appeased until the inevitable occurs and millions die, most who never were paying attention.

Am I arguing that Islam is evil and we are good.  Not exactly, I mean yes on the Islam thing, but I'm not sure the US is good.  We are poking the bear called Russia, screwing with their currency, have troops in Ukraine poking the Russians.  We have twice elected a man who no one really knows who he is, where he is from, how he paid for school, did he actually attend some of those schools.  A man who you can google and find quotes about Christianity nearly all negative and quotes about Islam to be all positive.  We elected him, twice.  So this argument is not some patriotic good ol' USA speech.  The evil that is in the world today recognizes no borders, it's everywhere in every society, just further along in some.

And one day, sooner rather than later, it will come.  We will do battle against this evil.  It will be here, it  will be ugly, it will be bloody, and we may not win.  We will fight the orgs and goblins, people that if we are captured alive will torture us and enjoy it.  They will look at raping and torturing as entertainment, similar to Dancing with the Gremlins.  And maybe we won't defeat it now, but one day we will.   That is faith, understanding that God somehow controls this; that any time evil wins the victory is temporary, that in victory it will sow the seeds of it's future defeat.

Look again at the first picture.  This is the future of Europe and America.  A rising evil taking control, to whom we were told to tolerate and coexist until the day arrives when the tolerated will have enough power to control, and there will be no tolerance, no coexisting.  Blind obedience to evil or death.

And tossing a ring into lava isn't going to help a bit.