This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Friday, December 12, 2014


Seriously, did you really expect republicans to show some balls?  I don't know why Hispanics don't vote republican more often, republicans exemplify the term "manana" when it comes to cutting spending.

For my younger imaginary readers, you apparently won't know what I am about to talk about, but for those older readers, you probably already reacted in horror at the word burpee.  Yes the burpee, the phoenix rising from your repressed subconscious memories of high school gym classes.  Yet, it may be the perfect exercise.

Standing straight, you squat down to the ground, your hands on the floor, then you kick your feet back and now you are in a pushup position, then you do the pushup, then you snap those feet back under you and jump up to touch the ceiling, land hopefully on both feet, and then lather rinse and repeat.  I did those earlier this week and was wiped at nine.  Man, these are harder than they were in 1975.  Then I added one each day this week until I'm at 12.  Now those are part of my daily workout and I will continue until I can do 50.  This may be close to the perfect exercise.  And without those repressed homosexual gym coaches yelling at you while watching just a little to closely to young boys perform them, they are actually now kind of enjoyable!

Started watching Cosmos again. I love this show.  I remember when it came on TV back in 1980.  I didn't get to see it on Thursday nights, but PBS reran it on Saturday morning at 10:00, not exactly a good time for most college guys to get up.  But I faithfully dragged my butt out of bed no matter what at 9:45 each Saturday morning, mixed a protein shake, got high and sat back for that beginning sequence of Vangelis music with those stars coming towards me on that little 12 inch black and white TV.  And even today, when it starts, a smile slowly spreads across my face.

Yes, I chuckle at some of the stuff, think about where he is wrong, count the number of times he says evolution is a fact and then uses 'thinks' 'believes' and other such terms or simply skips over those difficult things that would make anyone spending any time thinking about it to go 'huh?'.  But that show made me think like few professors ever did.  Let's face it, if evolution was a fact, in about five more generations, kids will be born without vocal chords but have multi headed thumbs to excel at texting.

Funny when I think back to college, this is one of my favorite memories, even more than the day I came out of class and was approached by two Moonies and after 15 minutes the girl was crying and the boy was totally devastated when I destroyed their worldview to the applause of 1/2 dozen other students who were listening.  Strange, five years of college and catching a buzz and watching Cosmos is my favorite memory.  It is always like that, not the class, but a book that made you see the world differently - Grendel by John Gardner for example; not a relationship, but a moment; a laugh that we shared and hold so dear all these years later.

So, what did I get for my birthday this year?  A $700 dollar present.  Actually, two of them.  First, I decided since I spend 9 hours a day sitting on my ass and my chair was killing me, I spent the money to get one of the Aeron chairs on sale.  Should be here tomorrow or Monday.  The other was totally unexpected - a $700 bill on my car.  Seems the ignition locking thing wasn't working real well, I'd put the key in and it would just spin and spin.  Spent 15 minutes in two different parking lots lately trying to get the damn thing to catch and decided before I get stuck somewhere and towed, I better take it in.

SEVEN HUNDRED FRIGGING BUCKS.  Wish I hadn't bought the damn chair now.  Really screwed up my plans for filing bankruptcy.  But the good news is the holiday hours are coming up where we get double time for working and I figured out if I add a few Saturday work days coming up, by the time I get to the double days, I'll be over 40 hours for the week so I will be getting 2.5x my normal rate.  Boy, on those days I'll be earning 1/2 of what I use to make.  I might even be able to afford a new interior light bulb for my Volvo!

Once, we did run
How we chased a million stars
and touched as only one can
Once, we did play
How the past delivered you
Amidst our youth we'd dream away, away

As if I knew the words I'm sure you'll hear
Of how we met as you recall so clear

Once, we did love
Long ago how did I forget

Holding you so closely

Look, how I move
Chance would have me glance at you
To know how you move me
Me, all barriers fall around us as we hear
Of memories known and matters long ago, so clear

Vangelis  "Heaven and Hell"