This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Saturday, December 27, 2014


Were you surprised when you found out North Korea's internet was not functioning?  A country where 90% of the people don't have electricity and they have internet?  That's like a bald guy having Vitalis in the medicine cabinet.

So earlier this month, after spending 15 minutes or more in two parking lots watching a key just spin and spin in my steering column, I took it in and two days later had my car back and $700 unplanned bucks on my credit card, which is going to mess with my timing of filing bankruptcy.

Since I work at home, I can go four days without using the car, usually always drive on Saturday and Sunday and maybe one day during the middle of the week.

This week, the car pretty much sat all week since I was working 11 hour days supporting all the new high tech gadgets and went out today and spent 20 minutes removing 8 inches of snow from my car and then after changing got ready to go to the store, turn the key in my new 700 buck locking mechanism and well nothing really happened.

All the lights came on the dash, and I mean all of them, so it is probably not the battery, but I never head that clicky sound a bad starter makes so I guess it's just another load of dung to deal with in life.

I can handle the cost of a car repair, I know with old cars they come and I really don't mind one a year or thereabouts, but two in a month?

Of course, part of me is wondering when they put the steering wheel thing in, which is tied into the electrical system, did they short something out?  Can I convince them to replace with rebuilt parts from Bosch?

But tomorrow, I shall go a wandering with a knapsack on my back and walk 4 miles to the grocery store, fortunately last weekend bought 4 12packs of Pepsi Throwback for 10 bucks when I still had some at home so won't need my caffine fix, but will load up the knapsack and see how I like it.

I love to go a wandering, along the mountain trails
And as I go, I love to sing, my knapsack on my back
Valarie, valarah, Valarie, valarah ha ha ha ha ha ha

Stupid little song from childhood.

I've wondered what it would be like to live without a car.  Put a rack and bags on the back of the bike, knapsack on back, and I could handle the grocery shopping and the 40lbs of dogfood each month, though not sure how that works with 10 inches of snow.  Taxi to the vet or doctor?  Church will be a problem, it's a good 10 miles away.  Then again, my new schedule may soon have me working Sundays and Wednesdays so I won't be making it to church too often as it is, which is going to kind of suck.

But think after a year of biking and walking the shape I would be in; especially with my new love of burpees and such.  The idea is tempting me.  Plus, no car bills, gas, save 45 bucks a month in insurance.  Then just save money for 18 months and buy a nice used car that won't be like playing craps every time I want to start or stop.  Plus it would be good training if I ever decide to live out that crazy dream I have of riding my bike from Colorado to WV to take my mom's ashes home.  Or cure me of the dream.

Dreams are funny things.  We all have them, buried, never made public.  Are they delusions, some psychological trick we play on ourselves to make ourselves believe there is a better day ahead, that we have control of our lives, an illusion to keep us sane?  I often thought about that taking care of my dad, was this idea to ride across america just some trick I was using to maintain sanity?  Is it illusion or delusion - okay to have them just don't act them out?

Do we live in the now?  So few do, some live in the past, remember a day when they were young, maybe popular, did something great.  I remember my 20 year reunion and was amazed at people wanting to talk about some ballgame we played, game I pitched.  I never think about that stuff.  But being stuck in the past, is it worse than living always in the future, a better day?  How many work themselves to the bone, socking money into IRA's and 401K's, dreaming of the day they retire and have that home on a lake or a golf course and when they finally get to that day of retirement are physically so bad off they end up dying in their first year of retirement?

Then the wives live another 30 years on that money.  Always thought that was some sort of plot, feeding the husband bacon every morning while they eat yogurt just waiting for that artery to block so they get to keep all the stuff.

I always wonder if pedophiles are stuck in the past. Not enough to actually study or spend a lot of time thinking about it, but I remember the crush I had on Marcia Brady and use to get all excited watching the Brady Bunch and to this day I still feel that sexual attraction to her.  But I've never had that attraction to other young girls, certainly not as a adult, but wonder if a pedophile gets stuck on some girl; maybe some girl he knew in 4th or 5th grade and never got over.  Do  pedophiles have a type, always blonde or brunette, blue eye or brown eyed?  Hmm, oh well, not going to spend any time studying that subject.

And no I don't have the Brady Bunch on DVD.  Shame on you.

Maybe the fantasies keep us sane.  Parents dream dreams for their kids, can't wait for them to grow, then miss them when they are gone.  Kids dream of being on their own then still haven't cut the cord in their 30's.  We have delusions to how valuable we are to our work, we have delusions as to what shape we are in; all to give us some sense of control of our lives when in reality we really have no control; the weak vessel that blows, the car that runs a red light, all waiting in the future to destroy our illusion of control.  Decisions made in board rooms that effect the careers of employees they never know the name of.

Fate versus free will.  Which is the illusion.  Does it matter?

Look at me, look at you
You say we've got nothing left to prove
The King is dead, rock is done
You might be through but I've just begun
I don't know, I feel free and I won't let go
Before you go, there's something you ought to know

Dan is a fan and he lives for our music
It's the only thing that gets him by
He's watched us grow and he's seen all our shows
He's seen us low and he's seen us high
Oh, but you and me keep thinking
That the world's just passing us by

Don't want to spend my life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy
Don't want to spend my life living on the edge of reality
Don't want to waste my life hiding away anymore
Don't want to spend my life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy

The Kinks

Sunday, December 21, 2014


Saw a report today where currently the CDC is tracking 1400 cases of Ebola in this country, and I thought WOW.

This whole Ebola thing smells.  The outbreak in Africa is still out of control, unchecked, and growing; but somehow the news media has moved on.  But if we have 1400 possible cases in this country, and the media is not reporting it, the government is not doing something seriously about it, then we have a total dereliction of duty on both parts.

But I can't help but wonder about the whole thing.  As my long term imaginary and anonymous readers know, I am disgusted how the western world uses Africa as some sort of experimental petrie dish and can't help but wonder is some scientific experiment in Africa went bad or worse, did exactly what it was suppose to do.

Why else would we bring people from the center of the outbreak with the disease back into a country with 300 million people?  To study or test something.

Imagine if we have a way to introduce and spread a disease with 90% fatalities and have a way to make sure most people in this country don't come down with the disease.  How about wiping out Islamic countries population?  How much better the world might be if 90% of the population of the middle east countries were killed off and we could go back into them for their resources without having to deal with terrorism, sheiks, and other such issues.  Test in African blacks, get a good cure for the 'white' world, then let er rip.  Why we could wipe out not only the Islamic world, but the populations of middle east people in Europe and America too.  Dearborn Michigan could be returned to the local taverns and strip bars.

Yes, I spent several hours one afternoon in a strip bar in Dearborn back in 1990ish.  Met up with an old college friend I hadn't seen in 10 years who spent the day trying to score coke and me making a mental note never again try to catch up with an old friend.  I mean coke was so 1980's.

But think about the elite thinking.  How to wipe out those pesky Islamic terrorists that hold the world hostage.  A nice Ebola that only attacks blacks and middle eastern people, a cure that only is effective in white european people, and you not only free the middle east of being a problem for the next 100 years, you also solve the whole inner city welfare state of many European countries.

I wonder if anyone is counting the survivors by race?  God is going to punish so many for the way we've used black africa like lab rats one day.

So, here we are.  We have a 300 lb thug beat a cop in Missouri, then charge the beat up cop and get shot, and millions are up in arms making the stupid thug kid a hero.  Then we have a cop trying to control another thug with a nice long criminal history who is resisting another arrest and puts him in a legally approved choke hold and the guy with asthma, high blood pressure, and diabetes ends up dying and when we don't arrest the cop, millions more start wearing I Can't Breath t-shirts.  Numb Nuts once again come out siding not with law enforcement but with the thugs and today we wake to find two cops executed in NY.

Funny how 13 years ago these cops were heroes for 9/11 and now they are evil people to be executed.  Fortunately, the idiot shot himself afterwards, but not after tweeting his deed and bragging about it but I do appreciate him saving the country the cost of a trial.

Golly, if we could only convince more criminal types to think that committing suicide was seriously cool to do.

So two cops are dead, actually more than that.  Saw an article that listed all the cops in the USA killed in the last 3 months, I think it was five, and four of the five were white cops killed by black assassins and one was a black cop killed by a white guy but that wasn't racist because he was a cop and Numb Nuts and the Keystone Racist Squad won't support a cop.

How would you like to be a cop today knowing the copy cats are just waiting for you?  How would you like to be a cop today having to protect people that cheer the execution of other cops?

Now, here is what really bugs me.  Little Louie Farrakan gave a speech last week where he called for blacks to kill cops.  Yep.  Now, think of this: if some white guy like Limbaugh or Hannity told people they should kill blacks, or hispanics, or lawyers, okay-maybe not lawyers, but you see where I am going, and then somebody went out and killed said persons or people, do you think the federal government would ignore it or prosecute the crap out of them?  But Louis F can call for blacks to start killing cops and you can bet nobody will have the balls to charge him as an accessory or incitement or anything.

In the end, we have the same problem in this country in the black community we have in the world with the Islamic community.  A percentage of the black population are just down right evil scumbags, just as a percentage of the Islamic world is.  And that small percentage scares the living daylights out of the majority, scares them into keeping their mouths shut, scares them into not going to the authorities, scaring them, threatening them, into silence.

And that small population of bad produces the hatred and prejudice against all.  And, in the end, nothing will change because what needs to be done will never be done, and the weeds will continue to take over the field and kill the crops.  Sorry, think I mixed metaphors.

Perhaps we should start changing our 911 phone system by zip codes.  If you live in one of those neighborhoods that cheer cops being shot, protest 300lb thugs getting shot after beating up a cop, maybe they could redirect those 911 calls to the local street gangs to come to your home to help in an emergency.  Hey, it's a theory.

Standing in a forest gazing at the sun
looking at the trees but there's not even one
See a rippling stream that smiles and then goes by
run to feel its comfort but the water's dry.
I see her face and run to take her hand
Whey she's never there I don't understand
The trumpets sound my whole world crumbles down
Visions of angels all around
dance in the sky
Leaving me here
forever goodbye.
As the leaves will crumble so will fall my love
for the fgragile beauty of our lives must fade
Though I once remember echoes of my youth
now I sense no past, no love that ends in love
Take this dream the stars have filled with light
As the blossom glides like snowflakes from the trees
In vengeance to a god no-one can reach.
Visions of angels all around
dance in the sky
Leaving me here
forever goodbye.
Ice is moving and world's begun to freeze
see the sunlight stopped and deadened by the breeze
Minds are empty bodies mor insensitive
some believe that when they die they really live
I believe there never is an end
God gave up this world its people long ago
Why she's never there I still don't understand
Visions of angels all around
dance in the sky
Leaving me here
forever goodbye.


Wednesday, December 17, 2014


Boy, here is something I never thought I would say short of President Numb Nuts committing suicide: "Kudos, Mr. President", well, if you did it legally, which would surprise me.

We've had Cuba under embargo for nearly 60 years now, through republican and democratic administrations, and what did it accomplish?  Really?  Millions of Cubans have lived under poverty under Castro while we moved all our manufacturing to China and Vietnam.  Anyone sense a conflict here?  If we took such a hardline against all communist countries like we do Cuba, that would be one thing, but we've handed over our manufacturing to communist countries all over Asia.

Most other countries, including Canada trade freely with Cuba, travel to Cuba, and have spent 50 years or so wondering why we continue to take such a stance against Cuba.

And I don't kid myself, I'm sure Obama isn't doing this out of the goodness of his heart, thinking of the Cuban people.  I'm sure the corporate banking establishments are licking their chops at building resorts all along the Cuban beaches, all funding with banking money.  Casinos are sure to follow, as will cruise ships.

Though I doubt very seriously the average Cuban is going to benefit much any time soon.

One of my favorite stories is a Tolstoy short story which has yet to motivate me to finish one of his novels, but I will always like this story:

One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answers to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.

What is the best time to do each thing?
Who are the most important people to work with?
What is the most important thing to do at all times?

The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.

In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make up a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month, and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.

Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.
Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.

Someone else said that certain matters required immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.

The responses to the second question also lacked accord.

One person said that the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.

The third question drew a similar variety of answers.  Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.
The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.

After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived up on the mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth or power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.

Reaching the holy man’s dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labour was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.

The emperor approached him and said, "I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?"

The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, "You must be tired. Here, let me give you a hand with that." The hermit thanks him, handed the emperor the spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.

After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood up and pointed to the spade and said, "Why don’t you rest now? I can take over again." But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, "I came here to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can’t give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on my way home."

The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, "Do you hear someone running over there?" The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in his stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man’s clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.

At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit’s bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from a long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, "Please forgive me."

"But what have you done that I should forgive you?" the emperor asked.

"You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back and kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn’t met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life! I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me your forgiveness."

The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man but promised to return all the man’s property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.

The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. "But your questions have already been answered."

"How’s that?" the emperor asked, puzzled."

"Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regretted not staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging in the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me. Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him.

Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound. Remember that there is only one important time and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future? The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life."

Friday, December 12, 2014


Seriously, did you really expect republicans to show some balls?  I don't know why Hispanics don't vote republican more often, republicans exemplify the term "manana" when it comes to cutting spending.

For my younger imaginary readers, you apparently won't know what I am about to talk about, but for those older readers, you probably already reacted in horror at the word burpee.  Yes the burpee, the phoenix rising from your repressed subconscious memories of high school gym classes.  Yet, it may be the perfect exercise.

Standing straight, you squat down to the ground, your hands on the floor, then you kick your feet back and now you are in a pushup position, then you do the pushup, then you snap those feet back under you and jump up to touch the ceiling, land hopefully on both feet, and then lather rinse and repeat.  I did those earlier this week and was wiped at nine.  Man, these are harder than they were in 1975.  Then I added one each day this week until I'm at 12.  Now those are part of my daily workout and I will continue until I can do 50.  This may be close to the perfect exercise.  And without those repressed homosexual gym coaches yelling at you while watching just a little to closely to young boys perform them, they are actually now kind of enjoyable!

Started watching Cosmos again. I love this show.  I remember when it came on TV back in 1980.  I didn't get to see it on Thursday nights, but PBS reran it on Saturday morning at 10:00, not exactly a good time for most college guys to get up.  But I faithfully dragged my butt out of bed no matter what at 9:45 each Saturday morning, mixed a protein shake, got high and sat back for that beginning sequence of Vangelis music with those stars coming towards me on that little 12 inch black and white TV.  And even today, when it starts, a smile slowly spreads across my face.

Yes, I chuckle at some of the stuff, think about where he is wrong, count the number of times he says evolution is a fact and then uses 'thinks' 'believes' and other such terms or simply skips over those difficult things that would make anyone spending any time thinking about it to go 'huh?'.  But that show made me think like few professors ever did.  Let's face it, if evolution was a fact, in about five more generations, kids will be born without vocal chords but have multi headed thumbs to excel at texting.

Funny when I think back to college, this is one of my favorite memories, even more than the day I came out of class and was approached by two Moonies and after 15 minutes the girl was crying and the boy was totally devastated when I destroyed their worldview to the applause of 1/2 dozen other students who were listening.  Strange, five years of college and catching a buzz and watching Cosmos is my favorite memory.  It is always like that, not the class, but a book that made you see the world differently - Grendel by John Gardner for example; not a relationship, but a moment; a laugh that we shared and hold so dear all these years later.

So, what did I get for my birthday this year?  A $700 dollar present.  Actually, two of them.  First, I decided since I spend 9 hours a day sitting on my ass and my chair was killing me, I spent the money to get one of the Aeron chairs on sale.  Should be here tomorrow or Monday.  The other was totally unexpected - a $700 bill on my car.  Seems the ignition locking thing wasn't working real well, I'd put the key in and it would just spin and spin.  Spent 15 minutes in two different parking lots lately trying to get the damn thing to catch and decided before I get stuck somewhere and towed, I better take it in.

SEVEN HUNDRED FRIGGING BUCKS.  Wish I hadn't bought the damn chair now.  Really screwed up my plans for filing bankruptcy.  But the good news is the holiday hours are coming up where we get double time for working and I figured out if I add a few Saturday work days coming up, by the time I get to the double days, I'll be over 40 hours for the week so I will be getting 2.5x my normal rate.  Boy, on those days I'll be earning 1/2 of what I use to make.  I might even be able to afford a new interior light bulb for my Volvo!

Once, we did run
How we chased a million stars
and touched as only one can
Once, we did play
How the past delivered you
Amidst our youth we'd dream away, away

As if I knew the words I'm sure you'll hear
Of how we met as you recall so clear

Once, we did love
Long ago how did I forget

Holding you so closely

Look, how I move
Chance would have me glance at you
To know how you move me
Me, all barriers fall around us as we hear
Of memories known and matters long ago, so clear

Vangelis  "Heaven and Hell"

Saturday, December 6, 2014


So, our esteemed President is in the hospital with a sore throat.

Sorry, not even going to touch that joke.

Thanks to the Steve Quayle website for catching this and posting a link:

Flash Mob: The U.S. Air Force Band at the Smithsonian:JOY TO THE WORLD!

Nice to see the military shove political correctness aside and still play a song celebrating the birth and coming of Christ, which also makes me wonder, why do we only sing Joy To The World at Christmas? Shouldn't that be a song to sing every day of the year?

Well, sometime this month I have my synchronicity birthday.  Born in '57 and will be 57.  I wonder if that is some sort of thing; I mean many people get that once in their lifetime, some when they will be too young to appreciate it, many born in the last two decades of a century won't live to see the moment, but in a short time it will be 57 and '57.  Maybe I'll play 5757 in the lotto that day.

So, ask yourself this question; why was Tebow essentially banned from the NFL?  How bad was he?  Worse the RGIII?  Worse than over half of the quarterbacks chosen the last two years in the draft?  Would the Jets have been worse the last two years with Tebow?  Sure is a mind bender if you ask me, but then you didn't so I'll shut up now.

Clintitis?  Sorry.

Spent a good part of a wasted day watching youtube videos on Planet X.  Always found that a fascinating topic, though most of what is available is crap.  I remember back in high school and college the talk of a 'second sun' concept.  When you look at how planets rotate around our sun, it's not a circle; in fact, during winter here we are millions of miles closer to the sun than in the summer, but the tilt of the axis makes for those short and cold days.  Come summer, we are tilted more towards the sun in the northern hemisphere ergo the warmer weather and longer days.

But if you, instead of having one point in the center, the sun, made the sun one of two members of a foci, then the rotations fit, but what happened to that other celestial body?  Sagan talked about the wandering planet in Cosmos and it was often discussed scientifically until the mid 1980's when all the talk died, except on the 'conspiracy' front.

The trouble is so many people make a living out of selling books and dvd's about a subject and there is so much crap out there it's hard to take much of it seriously.  Stechins or something like that is one of the most famous of the bunch, but his 'interpretation' of ancient texts has been pretty much ridiculed and proven false by Michael Heiser and others.  Too many people around making their living selling lies, whether it be the 9/11 truthers or Planet X people .

I watch some of the pictures and videos where you supposedly see this planet at sundown or sunrise and I'm like really?  Do you ever see a planet or star in daylight?  It has to be as close as the dang moon to see it in daylight and if there were a planet reported to be 4x the size of Jupiter out there, we'd see the damn thing.  They point their cameras right at the sun and golly, there is another round circle somewhere, which shouldn't be a surprise, it would be a surprise not to see some sort of refraction or image.

But it cracks me up the way you see this and the narrator goes "see, positive proof of Planet X".  And I laugh and look for another video, nothing to see here.

Now what is interesting is the number of astronomy professionals that have died, almost all in the southern hemisphere, where the theory is Planet X is approaching, which by the way is another reason to laugh at the videos because if it is approaching from the south, then you won't see it in North American at sunset, duh.  But there is a nice little list growing of astronomers who have had 'accidents' quick dying cancers, etc who were all working at observatories in the southern hemisphere.  Coincidence, maybe, too soon to tell, but then as V said, there are no coincidences only the appearance of coincidences.

I really loved Cosmos, even though when I watched it the last time I found myself poking holes in it and counting the number of 'facts' that were really assumptions and beliefs, but I just love that opening sequence of music and the picture of the cosmos on the screen.

So after several hours of watching, I found nothing of real substance.  Why should I be surprised?  One show, Incoming, I watched the first but wasn't really paying attention on the second as I was cleaning, but it had some interesting stuff about underground bases and cities our government has built all around the country for the elite to hide in when Planet X gets here, but I'm not real sure having a mountain on top of you would be a really good place to be if the earth is shaking, rattling and rolling.  Not to mention flooding and all the water pouring into the air system.  Be funny if all the expendable people survived on the surface and all the elite were buried in their underground fortresses.  But then, so few ever get to the end of Ecclesiastes:

Here the conclusion of the whole matter
Fear God and keep His Commandments
For this is the whole of man
For God will bring every work into judgement 
Including everything that has been overlooked
Whether it be good or it be evil

English Translation of the Septuagint


Well, sorry imaginary readers, no seasonal whining over the fates cast upon me, God was gracious and I survived the HR monster this time.

I still don't know who reported me, never will.  Don't know who was making decisions, never will.  Kafka foresaw the future, we are all Josef K.

But the good news is I survived to live another day.

I am not a fan of college football, barely follow it, unless it is something important like a quarterback who walks on charges of rape that would have landed anyone else in jail, court and probably prison.  But run and throw a football and they give suspected rapist a trophy.

Living where I do, CSU is quite a story.  In three years they've gone from a long time loser to ten wins this season under their coach.  Same coach signed a new ten year contract before this season and they put a 7.5 million dollar buyout to make sure he was here to stay.  He wanted to build CSU into winner, help build a team and a stadium to be proud of.

And of course, it was all bull.  Florida comes along and just hired him away, leaving the team without their coach going into a bowl game.  Same old story.

May he have the same success in Florida Rich Rodriquez found in Michigan.

I don't get it though.  Why go to a huge school that has a winning tradition when you could take a middle level college and turn it into a monster success?   Why be just one of many famous coaches at a school when you could be the greatest coach ever at a Colorado State, a Western Michigan, or a West Virginia?  What amazes me is I actually feel sorry for the college football players who I am sure signed to play at CSU because of the coach, who bought into all the pep talks, believed in him, and now just learned a valuable lesson: all the talk in the world won't mean a thing when someone waves dollars in front of a face.  The coaches don't really give a damn about your kid.

So once again, the smaller programs feed the large programs; the rich and powerful steal from the middle and poor.  CSU has spent two years pushing for a new football stadium, the coach was a large part of it, and after millions have been spent planning and paying off, the coach splits and the taxpayers are about to get hosed for a huge stadium that will be empty 365 days a year, and that includes Saturdays in the fall.

Think about it.  All the professional/college football stadiums, all the professional baseball parks, and they are all paid for by taxes on the public; empty over 75% of the time, and when people do go they pay more to park their cars than most people make an hour, same with the tickets, same with the food, to watch athletes make more a game in a tax payer funded stadium than most people earn in ten years.

Meanwhile, 11.9 million fewer people have jobs in this country today than had jobs when Obama came to office.  Meanwhile the rules are now set that companies can be fined 3k per employee, unless the employee is a what was formerly known as an illegal alien, then they won't be fined; meaning of course that when you go up for a job and your competition is an illegal alien, you aren't going to get the job.  Meanwhile prices have gone up on the lower and middle class over 12% in the last 5 years, whereas our government says it's about 5%.  Unfortunately, that 12% is skewed by the cost of lower technology things; the actual cost of rent, utilities, food, gas, medicine, etc, you know those things you buy every day, have all been up over 20%.

But lets go ahead and build those massive stadiums on the back of taxpayers.

What do all these things have in common?  The unknown monster that eats away at us daily.  It takes large chunks out of our paycheck before we ever get our money.  Our bills take the next hunk; rent, utilities, and food.  Our lives are in the hands of faceless and nameless bureaucratic people  that can ruin our lives in an instant.  A game of musical chairs with more and more people running around in circles with an ever disappearing number of chairs available.

It's governments, it's corporations, it's a legal system, it's a news system, an entertainment system,  it's the religious systems, all designed to take, rarely ever to give, and eventually wear a person down till there is nothing left.

All alone in the universe, sometimes that's how it seems
I get lost in the sadness and the screams
Then I look in the center, suddenly everything's clear
I find myself in the sunshine and my dreams

And I'm looking for space and to find out who I am
And I'm looking to know and understand
It's a sweet, sweet dream, sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle and sometimes I'm deep in despair

On the road of experience join in the living day
If there's an answer it's just that it's just that way