This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, November 16, 2014


Somewhere, Peter Gent is smiling today.

News story of the feds checking out NFL teams today looking for narcotics and other drugs routinely given to players without prescriptions.

About 40 years after the release of North Dallas Forty.  For those that saw the movie and not read the book, shame on you.  Movie didn't really follow the book all that much.

When NDF came out, it cause quite a sensation.  Gent had been a receiver for the Cowboys back when Landry ran Texas.  If you knew about teams back then, followed the sports, it was easy to figure out Maxwell was Meredith, who was Morton, Lily, Hayes, etc.  Meredith hated the book, too bad, it made him an even bigger star.

But the book, written as fiction, depicted an NFL full of injections on game day, speed on game day, downers and relaxants after the game, all washed down with liberal amounts of alcohol.  Of course, Gent was blasted by the NFL, the Cowboys, scoffed at and ridiculed.

It was and is one of my five favorite novels of all time.  The character is the classic anti hero of the 1970's, a flawed man in a flaw world who doesn't come out on top.  The ending of the book is breathtakingly sad.

So what happened today?  So many players from the 70's, 80's and 90's are fracking cripples today in their 40's, 50's and 60's.  They have lost mental capacity, are physical wrecks, not just from the injuries they sustained on the field but from the drugs they were given and organs are shot today because of all the painkillers.  I mean these guys lived on 100 pills a month.  And their stories, all documented for legal cases, left the door open for the feds to swoop in on several teams today looking for those drugs.

Must have been a long uncomfortable flight home for those players not getting their after game cocktails.

But millions of americans sat glued to their TV's, bundled up in the stands, watching their gladiators do battle today.  The players are paid more per game than most people in this country make in a year.  And so it will go on, the players enjoying the life of a professional athlete, then the bill comes due in their 40's and 50's for all those head crunching tackles, their knees, hips, shoulders, and elbows shot, organs wasted from years of drug abuse; while the fans sit back and enjoy a new generation of heroes.

seems her father didn't approve 
of his long hair and far out groove 
but he knew, he couldn't stop her

Dallas Alice
Dallas Alice
Well I'm coming back to you babe