This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Sunday, September 28, 2014


There is a great line from the TV show Serenity, well, actually, there are a lot of great lines in that show, but the one I'm referring to is when the Captain tells the Companion, "you think that by following the rules, you can build a good life, but it makes you a slave".

That line always haunts me.  It haunts me at work, it haunts me at church, it haunts me at life.  Where do we draw the line between being independent, bucking the system, and going along with the system; sell a little of ourselves just to get along.

Recently at work they had a contest about how many overtime hours you could work and had all these great prizes in a raffle you could enter - but I didn't.  I don't know how I stacked up to others but I chose to work overtime because the company needed it and I needed the money.  The contest smelled of manipulation, of following rules, of being a slave of some sort.

I guess I'm still thinking along the lines I was thinking of the other night, about filing tax returns which makes me guilty of something, I'm not sure what, but it's like just take my damn money out of my check and leave me alone, I don't want to participate.  And when does a man say no to the good life for what is right?

Gawd I  sometimes wish I didn't think so much.  I sometimes envy the drones of the world who go thru life oblivious, or am I oblivious?  Do I see more to life than is really there?

Paper in Africa this week accused the US of manufacturing and releasing the Ebola virus as a test and I thought it is about time someone figured that out.

Dave Hodges, whom I really don't listen to or read, but somehow keep quoting him when I do, hear or read him, did some seriously good research and discovered the corporations and agencies that actually have patents on diseases like Ebola, yep, there is a patent on several different variations of the virus.  So anyone working on a cure or vaccine needs to pay these organizations to work on it and then they make money selling the cure, which is where the irony comes in that many companies/organizations that own the disease also own the patents on the cures.

We own the problem and we own the cure, not a good recipe for the world.

Now many of my long term readers know how I absolutely am appalled at how the western world treats the African continent as some sort of personal laboratory, and it should not surprise me one bit that we released that virus in Africa.  I will never again buy a MS product because Bill Gates is the figurehead of his organization that is running all sorts of neat tests on people in Africa and set to reap billions on cures for diseases we are intentionally giving them.

I will never forget the 4 out of 10 success rate he bragged about for an AIDS cream for women.  I read it failed 60% of the time and don't even get me started on the 'control group' that got the placebo.  No wonder we suffered for decades with 'the blue screen of death' with that thinking.

So here we are using Africa as live lab rats to test the spread of a corporate owned virus, then testing vaccines owned by the same corporations, so when it's released in America millions will flock to the doctor or centers for the 'cure' for the virus.

Ain't capitalism great?

The problem isn't really capitalism, it's that somewhere over the last 40 years we've lost that moral center, wait, that is not accurate either, there has always been a vacuum of morality in the world.  But as a people, we've lost the center.  We have been brainwashed to tolerate to the point we would never stand up to slavery, we would never stand up to Jim Crow laws today if they still existed.  We ignore the plight of Africans at the mercy of the corporations using them for lab rats.  Tell me imaginary readers, what is the difference between sending ships to Africa to capture black skinned sub humans and ship them to Europe or the Americas to be slaves and traveling to Africa and using black skinned sub humans as lab rats?

Nothing.  I am sorry, did that thought interrupt the start of the second half of the football game?

The world views Africans exactly as I described and if you got upset with that I am sorry, that is what is happening and no one is going to stand up and stay stop today.  Cause that is over there, never happen here.

Right.  How many men and women died of radiation from tests we did in the 50's?  How about the little syph experiment we ran on blacks in the south, the the gassing of St. Louis in the 60's?  Or those absolutely weird chem trails people see all over the country these days.  Hey, I'm not a nut, okay, I know most times a jet goes by it leaves a trail across the sky and then the trail disappears, these things don't disappear, they spread open and stay.  That is not a typical jet trail.

Truth is we are viewed as fodder for many and always have lived in a world where elite view others as fodder.  And if you think these pharmaceutical experiments we run in Africa are limited to Africa you are living in a fantasy.  We are daily manipulated by news, by food, and probably other things we have no idea about.  We are lab rats to the elite.

One day, the people who do these things will face judgment by the one Holy God.  And so will all those who went along to get along and have a comfortable life.

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me.

Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me.

Leave the men where they lay
They'll never see another day
Lost my soul, lost my dream
You can't take the sky from me.

I feel the black reaching out
I hear its song without a doubt
I still hear and I still see
That you can't take the sky from me.

Lost my love, lost my land
Lost the last place I could stand
There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity

And you can't take the sky from me.