A MIND FOREVER VOYAGING THROUGH STRANGE SEAS OF THOUGHT, ALONE


This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.



The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK

I honestly didn't think today would be difficult.  Which shows you how stupid I can be sometimes.  I think, sometimes, I'm a shallow puddle on a sidewalk dreaming of being a Scottish Loch.

It was a year ago today my dad died.  It was coming up like a black storm,  getting closer and closer, impossible to ignore.

This whole week is bad.  Dad on the 19th, mom on the 24th, a dog on the 27th.  It's like Death Week.  If my phone rings, I'm almost sure someone else would be dead.  So I am keeping it on airplane mode this week.

And a year has gone by and what has happened.  Almost homeless, barely living paycheck to paycheck now, trying to save up enough money to pay a lawyer to hire to file bankruptcy, wondering where it's all leading and for what purpose.

Drifting now, waiting for what comes next.  Will it be good, will it be bad or like so much else, just both?


I'm walkin' down this rocky road wonderin' where my life is leading
Rollin' on to the bitter end
I'm finding out along the way what it takes to keep love living
You should know how it feels my friend

Now I'm on my feet again better things are bound to happen
All my dues surely must be paid
Many miles and many tears, times were hard  but now there changing 

you should know that I'm not afraid

Bad Company