This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Thursday, February 27, 2014


I don't know where I learned this little trick, but for those of my imaginary readers who have minds that tend to wander when reading, this is a great way to read the Bible and not let your mind wander.

Read the Bible out loud.  Now, on the morning commuter train, this might cause some problems, but then again it might be a good thing to do.  I remember about 20 years ago taking the slow poke and southern line from Palos to downtown Chicago and not once, not twice, but several times you could hear some girl on the train, sitting with friends, telling them all about the date this weekend with really explicit descriptions of the sex.  Half the car could hear the story.  So maybe Bible reading aloud would be a cool thing.

But even in your home, read it aloud.  It makes you focus more parts of the ol' brain matter on the topic and maybe God likes to hear it.  Give it a try and let me know if you don't really start to like it.

Speaking on theological topics, I heard recently someone being interviewed and I can't for the life of me remember what I was listening to, but they said something I never thought about before.  We tend to view a Satanist as someone who consciously chooses evil, but what this person pointed out is that a Satanist doesn't view Lucifer as evil - they view Lucifer as good.  Lucifer is the Morning Star, the god that wanted mankind to have knowledge.  Lucifer, to them, is good, it is Jehovah who is evil, Jehovah who didn't want mankind to have knowledge of good and evil, etc.

Wow, what an interesting point of view to consider.  Totally changes how you would talk about God with a Satanist, doesn't it?

I don't know what is going on in the world of cops, but something sure is odd.  The video last month of the cops beating the homeless guy in death in California was absolutely disgusting.  Now there is a70 year old guy who is pulled over, cop tells him to get out of the truck, when he does he reaches in the back for his cane and the cop shoots him.  Cop took three shots, one hit - I mean how far away was the cop?  Now the 70 year old disabled guy is in the hospital and the chief says it was justified.

No, it's not justified.  Does this 25 year old cop really think the 70 year old guy was pulling a rifle?  Ever hear of freeze?

Look, I know most cops are great men and women.  They are neighbors.  They coach the little league teams, usher in churches, their spouses teach the kids, etc.  But there is something evil going on across the nation in some of these departments and it is up to the good cops to figure out who the bad guys are and get rid of them so they don't paint the whole department as evil.

Shooting a 70 year old justified?  I'm sorry, that cop should be retired immediately.  Those cops in CA should be put in prison for beating to death the homeless man.  No one is above the law.  But it's time the police started policing themselves.

Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away


Wednesday, February 26, 2014


Funny thing about blogging.  When I post a blog and no one comments, the general readership is less than 10.  When there is one comment and a reply, it generally falls between 10 and 20.  When there are three or more, the readership number jumps to over 20 to 50 or more.  Which always makes me wonder why I haven't created a persona to comment on my own blogs, except that it would be seriously tacky and probably somewhat psychotic.

Got to keep the lunies off the path, don't you know.

Well, another day, another end of the world as we know it story going viral on the net.  The latest story is a secret source, because it's ALWAYS a secret very well connected highly placed never did me wrong source, is claiming that Texas State Troopers and Rangers - the cops not the baseball team - were told to put their survival stuff in the trunk of their cars and be prepared to operate for up to a month with NO CONTACT as of March 1st.

This one started on John Moore's show.  JR Moore is a retired special forces and career cop who now makes his living with a daily internet radio show from deep in the mountains of Missouri waiting for the end of the world; you can buy just about anything a serious prepper could think of on his website.

John Moore, Alex Jones, Hagmann & Hagmann, The Common Sense Show (which ironically just did a comparison with The Bonus Army a couple of days after I wrote about the Bonus Army), and countless websites all predicting that the end of the world is just around the corner.

I'm sorry, if you predict the end of the world every year for 20 years and when it happens in year 21, you can't claim, "see, told you so".

The worse is some guy named Lindsey Williams whom you can find mp3's from the 1990's predicting all of his 'insiders' telling him that this is it and then all you need to do is order his CD's, which I've never done.  I mean, think about it.  God comes to you and tells you that the end of the world is July 15th, 2020 and you put out your dream/vision on a DVD/cd for just 19.95?  Think that is what God expected?

Look, there is a lot going on in the world.  There is certainly attempts to curtail American freedom, kill the American dream, take away guns, we have droughts which is going to cause serious food shortages/price increases, and yada yada yada.  The point is we've always had bad moons rising, storm clouds on the horizon, and always will till the Lord returns.

But when will the purveyors of doom start being held accountable for their on air proclamations of doom?  What if I heard the John Moore show on Monday and went out, maxed out my CC at the gun store buying several guns and thousands of rounds of ammo, then Home Depot to buy wood to barricade my home and was all ready for the EMP on Saturday and nothing happened. John Moore going to cover that credit card payment?

The internet is great for freeing the flow of information and news from the corporate news system, otherwise known as  Government PR Inc., so they can't just put out stories as they want to spin them.  And in the end, the powers that be are more powerful than ever but the nation is more divided than ever because all the truth in the world won't get an American off his ass to say No More!

I guess the town criers of the internet are no different that the psychics whom people pay to tell them the future when you really think about it.  People are gullible, plain and simple, whether it means spending money to have someone read a palm or buying crap from a web site with a radio show that is telling you the end of the world is right around the corner and you better be ready.  Let's face it, some of these guys have been around since the 1990's making bucks off of fear.

Yet, there is some truth in much of what is said.  Our government is a corrupt cesspool of demonic little nymphs stealing us blind.  Did you see where Diane Finestein's husband's company won the bid to build the new high speed rail system in California, well, just the opening spur at something like 65 million per mile.  Amazing how wealthy she and her hubby have become since she's been in the Senate, just coincidence all the government business her husband's firm has won since she became a senator.

The point is, Americans are never going to do what is necessary to fix the problems until the whole system crashes.  We are not going to go to the polls this year and vote out every incumbent congressman, senator, or governor who's made their adult living sucking off the teet of the taxpayer.  We are going to keep sending them back to stick it up our butts and say thank you may I have another until God tires of the american experiment and deservingly wipes us out for good.

Now, there are good people to listen to like The Deyo's, Stan and Holly.  Stan is a scientist who views it all as a scientist and is not likely to make wild claims.  Holly's book Dare to Prepare is the bible on preparing for bad times, like floods, droughts, fires, nuclear leaks, gremlins escaping hell and running rampant, etc.  But they will also tell you to enjoy the day, take in the beauty around you.  And I like Quayle, I like the Bible thumping view on things, looking at all of this mess from a supernatural standpoint.

I guess the thing Monday just pissed me off.  I've said before, the EMP is inevitable, be it another solar flare that wipes out our electrical grid or some nut job with a nuke.  It may be tomorrow, it may be in 20 years, it may be in 200 years.  But I am seriously tired of anonymous sources making wild claims or guys with secret names calling in to radio shows to dish out the inside information but can't give their real name because their life would be in danger; then spend an hour talking how the NSA tracks all calls.  Duh.

And for all those thinking the crap is about to hit the fan, that riots, martial law, executions, and the US being sent back to the 1800's; just remember this: if there is an EMP and you manage to survive 90 days, that is about the time all the nuclear power plants and research plants will go critical and blow; covering the entire planet with nuclear radiation, killing every living thing.

Seriously, I heard that on an internet radio show, they interviewed a top nuclear scientists named Dr. Nucleus.

Ooooh You cannot reach me now
Ooooh No matter how you try
Goodbye cruel world it's over
Walk on by

Sitting in a bunker here behind my wall
Waiting for the worms to come (Worms to come)
In perfect isolation here behind my wall
Waiting for the worms to come (Worms to come)

Waiting to cut out the deadwood
Waiting to clean up the city
Waiting to follow the worms

Waiting to put on a black shirt
Waiting to weed out the weaklings
Waiting to smash in their windows
And kick in their doors

Waiting for the final solution
To strengthen the strain
Waiting to follow the worms
Waiting to turn on the showers
And fire the ovens
Waiting for the queers and the coons
and the reds and the Jews
Waiting to follow the worms

Would you like to see Britannia
Rule again my friend
All you have to do is follow the worms
Would you like to send our coloured cousins
Home again my friend
All you need to do is follow the worms.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014


Wow, mention Ukraine a few times and my blog has had over 100 visits from Europe and Russia this week!  Welcome socialists!

I must confess, my brain is on vacation this week.  Next week, new job starts, 10 hours a day, five days a week, lots of studying and I am so looking forward to it.  And good news to all my imaginary readers, I will probably only post new blogs one day a week!

Stop cheering.

Has anyone ever noticed the number of famous people that use this weird hand signal with the index and pinky sticking up, the thumb out and the middle two fingers tucked down?

Now, in some fairness to Bush, 'hook 'em horns' is a similar sign without the thumb sticking out, but standing with the queen?  My question though is this, do any of my readers naturally make this sign in conversation, waving hello, etc?  I think it's a semi difficult hand position with both the pinky and thumb sticking up/out while the index finger is upright.

The point of all of this is that hand sign is a very popular and common hand signal that says "I love you, Satan", which once again kind of makes you wonder why all these politicians seem to constantly make this awkward signal.

Why don't Christians have a secret hand signal?  Everyone else has hand signals.

I see Jane Fonda is freaking out over her age and dying and I feel sorry for her.  I've never been a fan because of her activities during and in Vietnam and am ashamed to admit I really like the movie The Electric Horseman where she starred with Redford.  I like a lot of the 1970's movies with the anti hero; Shampoo, Three Days of the Condor, Five Easy Pieces, Dirty Harry,  etc., movies where the hero, at the end, doesn't really win for losing or loses for winning.  Gee, that explains a lot.

But one anti hero I don't like is Mohammad Ali.  I use to like him until I learned something about him and what happened in the 1960's.  Lots of news about him lately with the 50 year anniversary of him beating Sonny Liston and the probability that the fight was fixed, though Ali, then Clay, didn't know it was fixed.

Little known story coming up.  When Ali refused service, he was banned from boxing for three years and lived in a hotel in NY, a rather expensive one, and couldn't pay a 5 figure hotel bill and the hotel was getting ready to kick him out on the street.  In stepped another boxer named Joe Frazier, who paid the tab and then some so Ali could stay.  Frazier also lobbied the NY boxing commission to reinstate Ali and finally the boxing commission reinstated Ali and after a few warm up fights, Frazier agreed to Ali fighting for the championship belt Frazier wore.

And Ali, prior to the fight, started calling Frazier Uncle Tom.  How is that for gratitude.  Guy carries Ali during his suspension, pays his bills, gives him the fight, and Ali stabs him in the back with the worst insult one black can call another.

All the talk, and that story sums up the two men perfectly.  Was Ali the better fighter?  Maybe, but he can't carry Frazier's jock strap and cup as a man.

Side note: When I worked for Amtrak back in college, I notice many times the old time black waiters would call some customers "Mr. Charlie".  "Good morning Mr. Charlie", "Good evening Mr. Charlie".  Finally, late one night after the diner had closed and we were all sitting around the dining car and I asked them why they call people Mr. Charlie; after they got done laughing, one of them explained it's an old custom, it allows them to call someone an asshole without the person knowing they are being called an asshole.

Couple of months later, on another trip to another place, one of the waiters called me Mr Charlie and I turned on him and said "you want to call me an asshole, just say it" and the look of shock on his face was priceless.  Apparently I was one of the only white people that knew the code.  Well, till now.  But then these days I doubt many people use Mr. Charlie anymore, they just knock you out and publish it on YouTube.

Back to satanic hand signals and stuff.  Lots of people are worrying constantly about people taking the mark of the beast and no one seems to pay much attention to the second point: when you take the mark you are also pledging allegiance to the antichrist.  In other words, you consciously choose the allegiance - it's not just the mark.

Though if you get an RFID chip implanted, you are nuts, because I can almost guarantee you will get cancer from the RFID chip.  Katharine Albrecht did a ton of research and published a white paper that documents a thousand fold rise in dog cancer since the advent of chipping your dogs.

Rather than lyrics, I give you an absolutely hilarious video:

Sunday, February 23, 2014


Well, I really hadn't planned on posting a blog today, but then I woke with a migraine because somehow sleeping I managed to twerk C3 in my spine and I don't have anything to help with the pain.  Vicodin works, but haven't had any of that around for well over a year.

Read an interesting article about Chicago and the mayor's race, but what caught my attention was this quote:

Barack Obama owes much of his early political rise to Preckwinkle. She supported his campaign for state senate in 1996, and his doomed congressional run in 2000. She even takes credit for encouraging him to join Jeremiah Wright's radical church. The New Yorker quoted her in 2008: "'It’s a church that would provide you with lots of social connections and prominent parishioners,' she said. 'It’s a good place for a politician to be a member.'"

That's how we should all pick a church, lots of social contacts, power players to grease your path, especially if you are a politician.  I think it was Paul who said the purpose of church was political success.  And John who pointed out that if Nero had just joined the Church in Rome, the city would have never burned.

I guess that is why Obama never goes to church, well, except for a month or so before the last election, is it is just so hard to find a church in DC that has all the right social connections.  Jeesh.

What I did want to talk about today was last night I watched the Watchers series by LA Marzulli.  They were available on YouTube, so I downloaded all seven.  There were several that were pretty good, but Watchers 5 and Watchers 6 were the ones that kind of blew me away.

In Watchers 5, now bear with me on this because I really don't have a full grasp on this, but they talked with a guy who was a geologist, worked for the oil companies, and he invented this really great way to look into the earth to see what is underneath the surface.  He found it by accident once in the field.  He'd setup some radios for them to use and sent a guy out on an ATV about a mile away and when they both switched on the radios the whole ground started shaking under both of them.  Yada yada yada and what this guy found was using the right frequencies, you could see underneath the surface and know what is under it, oil, water, or gas, how much, how close, etc.  But what he'd also found out was there were certain frequencies that were harmonic with the material underground and would cause all sorts of havoc if you used the right frequency.

And all this time, I was never sure if all those HAARP people were just conspiracy nuts or not.  Apparently, you can produce earthquakes if you direct the right frequencies at the right locations.  Huh!

But the serious cool stuff was in Watchers 6.  Now I like L.A., but he's kind of chasing a white rabbit.  He is trying to find skeletal remains of giants, to prove Genesis 6 is about giants.  Here is my problem with this quest: so what?  If he or Steve Quayle found a grave with three dozen perfectly preserved skeletons of 20 foot giants with King of the Nephlim written on the breast plate of one of the giants, what would change?  Do you really think the whole scientific theory of evolution, the whole archeological textbook industry would just be flushed down the toilet?

There is a great PBS show on Lucy.  It shows how scientists uncovered these bones, a couple of foot bones, femur, the hips, some ribs, the radius, and some head bones and completely reconstructed this 'image' of what Lucy looked like.  The problem is, the hip bones were ape hips, not human.  And they so wanted Lucy to be a walking humanoid type creature, so in this PBS documentary, the scientist explains that when the creature died, it was buried under some mud and silt and all the animals coming to feed in the water were stepping on the bones and broke up the hip pelvis region and over millions of years if reformed, in the ground, into primate hips.  Then he proceeds to take the hips, a hammer, and saw and begins breaking them up, reworking them, until he formed some human type hips and like me when I'm assembling anything, he takes the parts left over and tosses them out.

The point of this little tale is even if we found all those skeletons of giants, it would not be on the news, it would be confiscated under some indian burial rule and the bones would forever disappear.  Those that believe in Gen 6 and giants will keep believing so, those that don't won't.  But all the time and effort to find these bones will not cause one person to go "oh, giants were real, I guess I will accept Jesus as my savior now".

So anyways, you have to sit through some of that but when it gets real interesting is when they start looking at structures that were built and you have hundreds of these perfectly rectangular carved rocks that weigh as much as over 100 tons all put together to form these walls.  Perfect fit, no mortar needed.  One wall is really interesting because they know when the Incas were around, they can see where the Incas added above more all with a much more primitive technology of small rocks and mortar and then on top of that you see the spanish influence with a more technical skill than the Incas but nowhere near as technically advanced as the foundation up was.  That throws the whole theory totally out the window.

And these rocks, they were cut at or before the Bronze age, and bronze on a hardness scale is about 1/2 of the hardness of the rock, which is like cutting down a tree with a plastic knife.

Later, at Valley of the Sun or something like that, they showed more of this massive wall building with cut granite in an area with sandstone only.  The granite was 40 miles away and between 2000 and 3000 feet lower in elevation.

Which brings us to another lie of science, all you need to build these things is enough slaves.  How do you move a 150 ton cut granite rock 40 miles through jungle and up 2500 feet, then lift it into the air to place in down on other cut granite rocks and it fits perfectly?  Slaves.  You just need enough slaves properly motived.  Bull.

I laid awake contemplating all of this last night, could not fall asleep.  How could this have happened?  I mean, if the Earth was smaller in those years, gravity less, could that explain it?  Well, yes, and there is an interesting theory about expanding planets, but it doesn't explain how the rock was cut so precisely in an era where 'fire bad, sky pretty, sacrifice virgin now' is considered deep philosophical thought.  It blows most of our theories in science right out of the water.

Kind of like the Fibonacci Sequence.  That is 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34 etc.  What is amazing is that so much of life fits into this sequence from how leaves are arranged on trees to the distances/revolution times of planets all fit in the Fibonacci Sequence.  Isn't it just amazing that could happen through random variations over billions of years?

Anyways, cleaning out excess from my life this weekend before the migraine hit.  Clothes, furniture, stuff I haven't worn, read, used, or whatever in over a year goes out to the curb or Goodwill.  Met with pastor this week and he said I should pray about whether I should file bankruptcy and I didn't say "gee, why didn't I think of that" but been doing it for a few days now and, well, nothing from God.  Don't you wish God would just write on the wall for us sometimes like he did in Babylon in Daniel - though with better news?

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond

Saturday, February 22, 2014


Well, apparently the protestors in Ukraine have won.  Hundreds dead and they over threw the government.  Lessons learned?

Well, most of the residents of Ukraine did not take part in any of the protest, they sat at home and watched it on TV or possibly didn't even know about it if they didn't live in a major city.  Governments, like ours, are now going to be even more determined to initiate plans to take away guns from citizens, since probably less than 1,000,000 people in Ukraine successfully led a revolt and overthrow of the government because they were armed with handguns and rifles.  Militias in this country must be salivating at what happened in the Ukraine and hoping they can pull it off here, but then again, that is not fair because I'm sure union thugs and other liberal wing nuts are thinking the same thing.

And then we have our veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan, coming back to this country where jobs are scarce, the benefits cut, and one wonders where this is going to lead; another Bonus Army event?

After WWI, congress voted to give members of the military in WWI $1.50 a day for each day in war, $1 for stateside service, but not payable until 1945.  Well, in 1932, with the depression in full bloom, 10,000 former WWI vets met around DC demanding the bonus now.  The House voted to give it to them, but the senate, in less than 2m8sec voted not to give the bonus.

The vets had been very well behaved, camping out in several camps, but the city finally tired of it and sent cops in to break it up.  Shots were fired, two vets killed.  Hoover heard about it and ordered the army to clear it out.  Now this is interesting; McArthur was in charge, DDE was his liaison with the DC cops and Patton was in charge of the calvary.  And they attacked the vets, pushing them back across a river, and Hoover ordered it stopped.  McArthur ignored the order and went into the camp, burning it like Atlanta burned in the Civil War.  Thousands of WWI vets were injured, including women and children.

Apparently, the WWI vets were not armed; something for our Iraqi and Afghani veterans to remember if the need arises.  Look up the story of the Bonus Army, it's a fascinating read.  And to think that McArthur, DDE, and Patton were all involved in this dark moment of US history.

One thing for Ukraine is sure though, if history is any indication, you will soon regret the government you are going to get and wish you had the government you kicked out.

Funny thing out west here, when you meet people and say "how you doing" people always say "I'm well".  In other parts of the country, people say "I'm good".  I commented on that the other day to someone who claims that 'well' is proper grammar and 'good' is bad English.

I let it go, but they are wrong.  In fact, 'well' is improper.

Good is an adjective, while well is an adverb.  I'm, which is I am, the 'am' is a conjucation of 'to be', which is a linking verb.  When you use a linking verb, you link to an adjective, not an adverb.  So proper grammar would not be "I'm well" because you are linking a linking verb to the adverb.

But I didn't tell them that because doing so would make me look kind of like a jerk, I think.  Either that, or people would start calling me Cliff or Mr. Peabody or something.

Yeah, some folks inherit star spangled eyes
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
Oh, they only answer, more, more, more, yoh

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no military son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one

Friday, February 21, 2014


New study shows the average time of intercourse in Washington DC is 2 minutes 8 seconds.  Ironically, the average amount of time it takes the Senate to vote for tax increases and debt ceiling increases is  2 minutes 8 seconds.


Thursday, February 20, 2014


pulled this from earlier post to expand

Lots of news stories today, but I have a question for you.  What is happening in the Ukraine?  Do you know?  Who's side is what?  Is the government some corrupt organization that people have no freedoms or choice and a freedom loving populace is rising to overthrow the old Soviet warlords?  Or is the government a democratically elected government and after the people of the Ukraine voted recently to NOT join the European Union are outside influences supporting and instigating the riots?

Let's face it, we know know that Egypt, Libya, and Syria were and are not freedom loving people trying to overthrow a bad government.  It's really bad people supplied by the US and others who overthrew a bad government and made the countries much worse.

So is Ukraine really the media fed story of a bad evil warlordy government being tested by nut and berry eating squirrel petting freedom loving people, or is there something more going on here involving money, banks, and stuff?

The president of the Ukraine was democratically reelected, though there were some whispers of voter fraud in the election.  Gee, you would think President Obama would be more supportive of him, seeing as they have so much in common….

There is a video going viral right now of some Ukrainian chick which is really similar to the video a few years ago from Syria, which makes sense, since it turns out the same group that made the Syrian video with faked footages is the same group making this Ukrainian video.  Hmmm.

And is the timing here coincidental, with the Olympics in Russia?  Talk about Putin's hands being tied, though technically Ukraine has been totally independent of Russia since around 1990.  In fact, despite of the girl's pleas in the video, Russia and the Ukraine don't get along very well.

So I seriously question what is going on in the Ukraine being a bunch of freedom loving squirrel petting fruits and nuts peaceniks; I smell outside influences.  World leaders are warning the Uk Government not to attack peaceful protestors, but then watching all the video footage on news channels, I haven't seen too many 'peaceful' protestors.

Gee, I wonder…

All those bullets the US government have purchased, you know those 2 billion and counting orders, has anyone been auditing these purchases?  Do we know exactly how many rounds have been purchased and delivered?  Do we know for sure they are where they are suppose to be?  I would think when you have 2 billion bullets, a few million missing would be hard to pick up on, especially using some massive computer program like SAP, which could be faked out easily.  Oh well…

What amazes me is how absolutely pissed off all these protestors are about not being able to join the European Union.  That is what the protest is about, you know.  Yep, sat on their asses for 70 years under soviet domination but now after 20 years of freedom get pissed off at not being part of the EU.  Would this get the American people off their butts?  US doesn't join EU and millions will take to the streets?

I don't think most americans can even spell EU anymore.

But there is one other lesson from Ukraine.  Now do you understand why the UN and our Government wants to take away our guns?  A government and army with guns can walk all over a populace; a populace with guns don't quite go down so easily, do they.

Wonder where the Ukrainian citizens protesting got all those bullets…..

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be all right?
All right, all right

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan

You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're all doing what we can

But if you want money
For people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait


I've come to realize of late my editing of bad english and grammar is becoming lazy so this weekend I will go back thru and make corrections on the last dozen blogs.  My apologies for laziness.

News story about 30% of people under 35 are living at home with mom and dad and of course these stories take one of two angles; that the under 35 are losers who can't grow up or the economy is so bad they can't afford to strike out on their own.  Both are probably true.

But it does bring up a cultural shift we are going to see in this country coming up very soon, a return to an older way of living.

Due to the great affluence of the American society in the 20th century, our way of living changed.  Before that, as in many other countries, it is not strange to see 3 or 4 generations of a family in one house, building, or plot of land.  Farmers and ranchers built new homes for each son or daughter to live on, families stayed in same apartment buildings, additions were added to homes for the son and his new wife.  This was common practice for centuries.

Enter the American Dream of the 20th century, which is officially dead, families split up an moved not just out of the homes, not just out of the neighborhoods, but out of the towns, cities, and states.  We becomes clipper ships, sailing the planet with no rudder.  Families were spread apart with parents 3000 miles from each child.

However, those days are coming to an end, quickly.  First of all, with our new global economy, expecting every member of the family to be gainfully employed at all times is a joke.  Baby boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, and Gen Zero are all suffering long term unemployment and each is probably hitting up folks for help.  Those same folks are going to have a hard time or are struggling in retirement and need help.

Let's face it, it's time to dump the paradigm we thought we'd have and create a new one.  Rather than have people trying to make it on 1/2 salary and skyrocketing rents, families need to start consolidating back to the old structure, sharing homes.  And people need to start thinking about rather than each one person renting an apartment, maybe four or five get together and rent or buy a house to share expenses; which means at times everyone is going to have to carry another person in the group, that is our future.

The old story of the Tao, ride the river, don't fight the current.  Trying to maintain an old paradigm in a world where the paradigm is dead puts undue stress on a person and in the end is a lost cause.  The new paradigm we are coming to, for 90% of the population, is a return to the old; a family that lives together, three or four generations under one roof, where grandparents take care of the kids while both parents work, where kids become teens and start caring for the grandparents in their spare time, where teens work and contribute to the family; go to college at a community college for two years, learn a trade as well as geometry and English, then finish your degree locally or online while everyone pulls weight in maintaining the family home.

And for those in later years, no kids or kids that don't care, they need to find like minded adults in their churches and groups and consider consolidating their lives and buying or renting an old house where rents and expenses are shared, maintenance is shared, work is shared, and who will help out each other when jobs are lost, people get sick, etc.

That is designing the successful future in our new world.  The 20th century american dream is history, for most.  Those pensions and health care in retirement are going away and if you are getting one now, don't count on it lasting another 10 years, it won't.  City after city, state after state, is going to default on those pensions and lifetime health care you were promised.  Deal with it now.

And don't think, I know - here he goes again, don't think your IRA and 401K are safe; you will discover that the government is going to come after all that money and try to make it sound like it's a good deal and in your best interest - but it's not.

Minimize, consolidate, and hide.  Let's face it, how many baby boomers joined or wanted to join a commune when you were young?  Well, turns out you were just years ahead of your time.

ITTLE Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun
A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
Ef you
Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,--
An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wuzn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'-wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an' roundabout:--
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;
An' wunst, when they was "company," an' ole folks wuz there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,--
You better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Backed by the Good Faith and Credit of the US Government.  Remember when that line carried some weight?  Now it sounds like a line by a comic on late night TV.  Plus, what it really means is backed by the sweat and blood of American citizens who are responsible for all this debt.

Lots of strange stories circulating of late about money and currency.  What is true, I don't know, much of this is coming from the looney fringe of the 'net, but just because it's from the looney fringe doesn't mean it's wrong.

And, it's time to blame Nixon once again.  Let's go back to a time where dollars were backed, at least partly, by gold and Britain had collected a whole lot of dollars and decided to turn them in for gold and Nixon said, "huh?".  So Nixon took us off the semi gold standard and put us on the petro dollar.  He cut a deal with the Saudi's, whom we've been their bitch ever since, that oil will only trade in US dollars, making the dollar the de facto standard on the planet.  If France wants to buy a barrel of oil from Britain, it has to be sold in dollars.  Canada buys from Venezuela?  In US dollars.

But we've had this international attempt to no longer deal in dollars, since we've been printing dollars like they are toilet paper, and several mideast countries like Iran, Syria, and Iraq, prior to our invasion, have tried to change this petro dollar scheme.  Well, Iraq kind of bit the dust for it, but now China, India, Russia and others are all on board and American is about to get dumped in the toilet.

Plus, apparently, Saudi Arabia's oil fields are now 90% water and 10% oil making Iran the number one country sitting on top of the biggest oil deposits.  Which is why Russia and China are protecting Iran.  Iran is about to become the Saudi Arabia of the 21st Century.

Ann Barnhardt does a wonderful presentation on fiat currencies and points out all you gold people that gold is a fiat currency too.  Once upon a time, in the old days, I'd grow cows and you'd grow veggies.  Then I would want some veggies and you'd want some milk and meat so I'd trade you some cow for some greens.  What developed was a system, let's just call it credits since that is where this is all headed anyways, and I'd sell the milk for 10 credits and the cow for 200 credits.  You'd sell bushels of veggies for 5 credits and now instead of dealing with you directly cause I hate dirt farmers, I would go to a middleman who'd pay me 500 credits for my two cows and 10 barrels of milk.  Then I would take some of my 500 credits and buy some bushels of veggies from another middle man who bought the dirt farmers veggies from him.

It doesn't matter if the credit is bronze, paper, silver, gold, or cow chips; they are all fiat currencies.  But somehow people feel better if said fiat is made of gold, silver, diamonds, or something similar.  Truth be told, there is not much use for gold, whereas diamonds and silver have actual value and use in manufacturing, but gold is gold and people are people and since the dawn of time, we've put a premium on gold.

And for those who think paper is useless, just wait until the SHTF and you have to go to the bathroom, you will start selling a box of ammo for a couple of rolls of toilet paper.

Here is a hint: when the SHTF, and you are at the store, buy toilet paper, tampons, and cigarettes.  Let everyone else fight over food.  They will trade that food to you later for the smokes and tampons.

Point of all this, and remembering Nixon, is China is about to try and pull a major takeover of the world economy and take it's place as the powerhouse of the 21st century. So, how does that opening of China by Nixon look now?  He wanted to open things up with China to scare Russia.  Now, China has all of our jobs, all of our technology, all of our manufacturing, and is buddying up with Russia to kick our asses.  Thanks Dick.  Nixon - The President that just keeps on screwing us from the grave.

What is scary is Obama will go down in history as worse than Nixon, though that history book will probably be in Chinese.

But I hate to break the news to the world, and this is not just some pompous American talking out of his ass - okay, well I am,  but that doesn't mean I'm wrong, world, after you spend a day cheering as America falls, remember that laughter the next day when reality sinks in.

For all of our faults, and Lord they are many, do you fully understand why all you European countries have had it so good the last 60 years?  Why you could have jobs or not have jobs, retire in your 50's and full pay, have free health care, free college educations, and all that sophisticated stuff?  It's because the US was protecting your butts, you knew we protected your butts, so you haven't spent nearly anything close on defense that you would have had to spend if the US wasn't protecting your butts from Soviet Domination. No US and Finland, Sweden, and Norway would have been Russian territory before jet planes flew.  Germany, France, Spain - forget wine, you'd be known for  growing potatoes for vodka, not wine for grapes.

I might be wrong in all of this, you might all be German, not Russian, but the point is that all those socialist dreams of health care, education, and not working were paid for by US taxpayers supporting a war machine to keep the soviets at bay.

But now through stupid american voting, brainwashed americans in front of TV sets thinking some B actor or C actress dancing is entertainment, Americans have become America's worst enemy and nightmare.  Nay, the worlds nightmare.  Because all of you working jobs in Belize, Vietnam, India, etc supporting American products and services, when America falls, your job goes too.  No rich America, no "thank you for calling X, my name is Bob, thank you very much".  So the third worlds climb out of poverty will go right back into poverty with the Americans.  And all those Euro countries will sell their souls to the Chinese machine or risk having to cancel all those retirement plans, health care plans, 30 hour work weeks, and after multiple generations of sucking on a government teet, your people will not be prepared to survive on their own.

And what of China?  They will be kings of the new world junk yard.  Because no one will be around to buy all that stuff they make.  Their theft of technology will be useless because no one will be able to buy smartphones, pads, etc because no one will have money, jobs, homes, etc.  And when Chinese move to the US because, I've warned you about this, China is behind the buying of all of these mortgages the last 5 years, they will need the chinese army to get the people out of their homes, thus destroying the home in the process.  And instead of living in all these nice suburban homes they will be in a burned out war zone.  I hope every american who is going to be dragged kicking and screaming from their homes by our new chinese warlords remembers to turn on the gas and shut off the pilot light on the way out.

And long after we are all gone, here is how it will turn out, unless God intervenes, the Asians will lose because they always lose, in the end.  Asian history is full of the same story; someone gets to power and immediately kills off anyone and everyone who is a treat to his power.  Kills the man, the family, the kids, everything.  And after many generations of wiping out the brave, strong and smart, they are left with a nation of wimps.  In America, many and most will die under Chinese control, but some will survive, in the hills, in the desert, and over generations, the wimpy metrosexual liberal pencil neck bean counting psychotic neurotic sociopathic psychopathic parts of our bloodline will be wiped out and real America will emerge; white, red, black and brown, but will emerge, take parts of the country back, and history will repeat.  It always does.  Nothing new under the sun, as Solomon learned.

Now that I got that off my chest, back to currency.  It's time to reboot.  At the close of business some Friday before a holiday weekend, we reset.  We default on the debt, we announce a new currency backed by our gold, silver, oil, etc.  We come out with a new currency; we announce it is the equivalent of one credit is what was one dollar.  Make it easy on people.  So if you make 50,000 dollars you know make 50000 credits.

It will be dicey, there are problems, need to make sure Russia or China don't invade Hawaii or Alaska, but in the end, the world will adjust and life will go on.  As for countries like Japan and others who are smelling the air and buddying up to the Chinese right now, well, you are on your own.  Good luck.  Especially Japan, China has special plans for you; they still remember your occupation in WWII.

Why do I think all of this lays ahead?  Because it's happened before, over and over, throughout history.  Humanity is nothing but a hamster on it's wheel.

I am sure economists and all the talking heads of the world will mock and laugh at such thoughts, but then, it's those same economists and talking heads that put america's ass in the wringer in the first place, so mock away.  Their ideas and theories produced the cesspool we live in today.  And their ideas and theories are not going to be the solution.

There is a solution, don't you know, and it's in the Bible.

When you can't hear the rhyme and you can't see the reason
Why should the hope remain?
For a man will be tired and his soul will grow weary
Living his life in vain

And who are we to justify the right in all we do?
Until we seek until we find Ammonia Avenue

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


Did you know, going back decades, the average number of earthquakes in Oklahoma per year is 50?  In 2013, they had 3000.  Just a couple of weeks ago, in one day, there were 61.

Why?  Got me.  Lots like to blame fracking but they've been drilling and fracking in Oklahoma for decades.  Is the drought and lower levels of the aquifer that runs underneath parts of Oklahoma the cause?  I don't know.  Is the earth expanding?  Are these releases of pressure along the fault line that runs from the south eastern US to Washington state shifting?  I don't know.

That is one thing that always bugged me about geology.  If you got all these caves and caverns that are filled with water or oil and you start emptying them of all that fluid, doesn't that cause support issues for the land above the now empty cavern?  Maybe under normal stresses it would be okay, but we are not normal stresses with our buildings, roads, machines, trucks, etc.

All I know is when you go from 50 consistently to 3000, something serious is happening.

Britain is being washed away with storms, I mean serious flooding where they think it will be 6 months for the water to recede.  Think about that, six months of water, at what point do you admit you live in a lake?  Storms are battering the US this year, well, east of the Mississippi at least, with record breaking storms and snow totals.

Prepping is going mainstream.  The nuts are about to become chic'.  Pretty soon you are going to see designer prepping gear: Calvin Klein sleeping bags, military vests, etc.  Waterford Crystal canteens and water drums.  Oh yea, this is going to be funny.

For my long time readers and those 28 who have purchased a book, did you catch the story this week about Admiral James Lyons?  Apparently Admiral Lyons is suggesting the Benghazi event was a botched kidnapping attempt that the president of our country had agreed to in order to get the ambassador back prior to the election and look presidential.  Now the admiral said it would be a trade for the blind terrorist, known as the blind sheik, whereas I wrote several times in the book that it would result in a heroic Seal rescue of the ambassador within a week of the election.  But the point is that is why nothing was done that night, that is why they didn't allow help, not knowing the ambassador and two others had locked themselves behind an iron gate and could not be reached by the highly educated towel brained terrorists who then set fire to the building to 'smoke them out'.  The war room couldn't see that from the live drone movie they were watching, they assumed all was going to plan.  Benghazi was designed to reelect the president.  Meanwhile, recent poll of people who voted for Obama showed 71% regret their vote.

Just reminding my loyal imaginary readers that I may be nuts, I may be broke, I may be bankrupt, but sometimes I do know what I am talking about.


Lock up the streets and houses
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right
And you know that it's right

We have got to get it together
We have got to get it together now

Hand out the arms and ammo
We're going to blast our way through here
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right
And you know that it's right

Thunderclap Newman

Monday, February 17, 2014


Chavez is dead of cancer and Venezuela is about to go into chaos.  Just got to wonder what is the US role in the mess.

Many moons ago, sometime back in the 1990's, I read this book by a guy who made his living working for the oil companies causing serious unrest and economic disasters in Central and South America.  I think he was with Conoco, but don't hold me to that.  It told a fascinating tale of payoffs, revolutions, economic maneuvers that destroyed the economy of countries, all so US corporations could get the oil and other resources.  Today, we not only have Venezuela on the brink of revolution, but Argentina is also blowing up economically and since I read that book, I can't help but think or wonder if we are behind the whole thing to get our hands on the oil fields again.

Remember the great 'we got Osama' moment of President Obama?  How he made it sound like he personally led the assault that took out Osama?  What a moment, except thanks to loose lips, Biden screwed the pooch and said it was Seal Team 6 that did the assault.  That NEVER should have come out.  Now most of those brave hard ass americans that were on that raid are dead, most of them taken out in a helicopter shoot down that has many scratching their heads; in other words, the number of guys, the type of copter, the National Guard pilots of the copter, are all not normal operating procedures.  And, also in the loose lips, it was made public that the way we 'found' the location of Osama was thanks to a doctor in Pakistan who ID'd him and his location and then gave the information to the Americans.

And that was made public by the administration while the doctor and his family were still living in Pakistan.  Consequently, the doctor who stuck his neck out to help America today languishes in a Pakistan prison.  Is it any wonder finding people to help America in the war on terror is so difficult when stupid imps in the administration will sell out the person on national television to make themselves feel important and part of the loop?

Unfortunately, the plight of the doctor has an even deeper impact on Pakistan.  For some reason, the photo of the doctor used in media shows him standing next to a sign encouraging Pakistan citizens to get their Polio vaccine.

The AP has a story today about the pandemic of polio that is going on in Pakistan, spreading to neighboring countries, showing up now in Syria, Egypt and Syria from 'freedom fighters' traveling.  Not only do villagers not trust the vaccines or the health care workers providing the vaccines, but said health care workers, previously untouchable by everyone, are now targets for assassination.  So those brave enough to earn the 2 bucks a day they are paid need police escorts to go around but those police are also targets.

Consequently, little kids are coming down at alarming rates with polio in countries like Pakistan because villagers don't trust the vaccines/doctors, because the US blew the whistle on the doctor who led them to Bin Laden, said doctor now languishes in prison, wives and parents are without their heroic sons who earned the right to be Seals,  all because of people in our administration shot their mouths off when they should not have said anything.  That is a lot of unintended consequences for a few seconds of talking without first thinking.

Should we be concerned George Soros just tripled his put options on the S&P 500 crashing?  Soros has made millions screwing with the currencies of countries, was convicted in France for his manipulations, and he still operates playing Monopoly with currencies and markets all for his own profits. Calling Mack Bolan, your table is ready.

I'm really getting screwed up theologically.  I am talking about Paul.  For years, in readings, I would sometimes get this odd feeling in my head that something Paul is saying doesn't match up.  Not just the obvious stuff either.  The whole pre tribulation rapture is argued from 1st Thess, with manipulations around what it seems Jesus says in the Olivet Discourse and somehow we come up with two second comings; the first one where He doesn't actually land on Earth, so it doesn't count, then the second one which is the real one.

When looking at the letters to the seven churches, the first one, Ephesus, the church is commended for identifying false apostles.  In 2nd or 1st Timothy, Paul laments to Timothy that the churches in Asia have rejected him.  So, is Paul the false apostle that Ephesus rejected and is congratulated by Jesus for figuring it out?  I'm not sure how Paul is an apostle, since one of the requirements of being an apostle was following Jesus for the 3.5 years.

So I have done a little research and there seems to be others who think Paul is a false prophet, though this is internet research so you have to consider the sources, yet most who go thru seminary just think what they are taught without a lot of thought going into it.  So who is right?

Speaking of a lot, I sure wish bloggers would learn that it's a lot and not allot.  There is a word, allot, but it means something totally different than saying a lot.  Drives me almost as nuts as the "me and so and so" thing.

My trouble with Paul is I'm not well versed enough in the rest to fully know if something is wrong or not.  Up until now it's just been an uneasy feeling sometimes reading his letters that what he is saying is different from what is taught elsewhere.

I mean, where did Jesus ever say if you follow him you can ignore all the laws of the OT?  He spoke against the man made laws of the oral torah, but never against the Torah itself.

I guess there is an assumption here.  That the books of the NT are chosen by God, that God would not let false books be added to His Bible.  But I'm starting to get somewhat of a bad feeling in my gut that this assumption may not be a good thing. It's like the KJV only people who swear that the KJ is inspired by God and is the only English version that is perfect.

Except to say the KJ is perfect, you are ignoring a lot of data.  First of all, where does the KJ version come from?  Well, much of it is based on the work of Tyndale,  English translations and Greek texts dating to the 12th to 15th centuries - the "Textus Receptus" - and the Latin Vulgate.  The OT is based on the Hebrew MT.

Today, with new findings, we know certain things.  That many of the works the KJ was based from have problems.  The Hebrew MT is corrupted and was done intentionally and many errors were found with the release of the Dead Sea Scrolls, which provided the original AT version of the Old Testament books.  The Septuagint LXX is a direct translation of the OT AT, not the MT, though there were some later version of the Greek Bible that made changes to match the Hebrew MT.

The point is, the KJ is not some divinely given text and with findings in archeology since 1611, there are many more documents to work with, both for OT and the NT.  By the way, if you meet someone that insists that the KJV is the one and only truly inspired English Bible, ask to see their copy then ask them why, if it was perfect when written in 1600's, why does their copy not have 81 Books, like the original?  Watch the look on their faces.  The KJ had 81 books for about 250 years, not 66.

I guess what I need to do, for the next year, is focus directly on the non Pauline texts of the NT; Matthew, Mark, John, James, 1-3 John, Jude, and Revelation.  I'm not sure about the Peter letters, when they were written, etc.

Can we make the assumption that God would not allow the NT to be corrupted by Satan?  All of Earth is corrupted by Satan.  Whatever you assume, I'm deeply afraid of the unintended consequences.

Even in the quietest moments
I wish I knew what I had to do
And even though the sun is shining
I feel the rain - here it comes again, dear
And even when you showed me
My heart was out of tune
For there's a shadow of doubt that's not letting me find you too soon
The music that you gave me
The language of my soul
Oh Lord, I want to be with you
Won't you let me come in from the cold?

Saturday, February 15, 2014


Many years ago, my first real non bartending job after college was working for Inwood Business Machines in Dallas.  I was an outside rep, hired to sell computers, but spent nearly all my time selling IBM Selectric Typewriters and HP engineering calculators.  But one week, we had the most exciting event, the National Office and Business Convention in Downtown Dallas!  So I showed up at it and lasted nearly a whole 30 minutes before I knew I had to get out of there.  So I asked the gal who was our head of training, Monica,  if she was having a good time, she rolled her eyes, and I pointed out the new Dallas Art Museum was a block or two away so off we went for the afternoon.

The museum sucked, okay.  I have spent a day in the Chicago Art Museum and not seen everything.  But what Dallas had that day was Rodin's Gates of Hell on display.

I probably spent two hours just studying that casting, it was huge and so detailed.  I don't think Monica was that into it, but it was better than a trade show, so she humored me.    The picture doesn't do it justice, the details of people falling into hell has stuck with me for decades.

Okay, how many went to college, undergrad or grad, and have heard the adage that it takes 5 times as much money to get a new customer as it does to keep an existing customer?  Anyone?  Everyone?  I've heard it my whole life.

So why is it that you never see it in action in the business world?  Why do phone, cable, health insurance and other companies bend over backwards to get you to sign up for their service, then jack up rates year after year afterwards?

I use to change my health insurance company every two years, my cell service every two years, because they'd offer new customers steep discounts and hope you are too lazy to bother changing.  Guessed wrong with me.

Met with the apartment complex people the other day.  Same company owns the complex, but they have two new people in position over there who never knew my dad, never knew much about anything.

I asked the guy if they would be interesting in renewing my lease at the same rate, more on that later, and he said he didn't know that prices were going up.  I pointed out that there were two new large apartment complexes in FC, one is just about finished and renting, the other is going to be finished in late summer, plus another two have recently expanded, so there should be more availability and costs should be going down and he replied, no, the way it works is they are raising their monthly rates to match the new places.

I just looked at him and thought, 'you either just admitted to wide spread price fixing in the apartment rental industry or you think I am really stupid'.  If you are going to match a new place with all new appliances, fixtures, and amenities, why the heck would I want to pay the same for a 30 year old building with inefficient heating, drafty windows, etc?  I mean, basically, the guy could have signed me up for another year right then and there.

And I guess it pisses me off because I've written positive internet reviews of this place at least a half dozen times but the new manager doesn't know that.  Some people write bad reviews, very few take time to write a good review, but never piss off the person who writes a good review, it's a guaranteed internet attack just waiting to happen!

Eva Cassidy is playing in the background.  What a singer, what a tragedy, her dying so young.  How she could sing out these songs, knowing what was coming, and not break down is beyond me.  Eva never was famous outside the DC bar circuit until she died, in death, her CD's sold like hot cakes as word of mouth spread.  Girl could sing the blues.

So here is the point.  Let's say my rent is 980 and they are going to raise it to 1010, a 30 buck a month increase.  That's an additional 360 bucks a year in revenue, well, except when I move out, the apartment will sit vacant for awhile.  I've seen some rent new in two or three weeks, I've seen some sit for 3 months in the two years I've been here.  So let's say it sits 1 month.  That is a loss of 980, meaning they will have to rent the apartment for nearly 3 years at 1010 before they recoup the loss.  Even if it sits two weeks, it's a loss the first year.  Add in new painting, carpeting, and cleaning which they legally have to do before a new person moves in and, well, duh.


And if I want to switch to a one bedroom?  It will cost 940 a month, plus a new deposit, a new dog deposit, but they wave the application fee.  Mighty white of you, as Cary Grant once said in Bringing Up Baby.  Because if a person has to go thru all of that, why not just look at what all the competition is offering?  They are designed to drive away customers with this thinking.

Here is my thinking process, I'm open to suggestions.  If I stay here, I have zero moving expenses and pay 980 but can begin bankruptcy proceedings immediately and only probably make 1 or two more months of debt payment.  If I move, I have to wait until July 1st to move, make at least 6 months of debt payment, have all the expenses of moving to a new place while getting feet planted in new job.  So while I might find a one bedroom apartment for 825 - 875 in FC that will take a dog, and that translates into a savings of say 150 a month for easy math, that 1800 will get eaten up by the six months of debt payments, the new deposits, application fees, changing services, truck rental, college students to help me move, etc.

What I can't figure out in all this is where I'm getting the 1400 bucks to hire the attorney, have to figure that one out still.

The point in all of this is not to bitch about my situation some more, but to point out that in todays market, you find lights.  I bought dog food last weekend at Poudre Pet Supplies and wasn't paying close attention apparently and bought the lamb with no grain.  So most of Monday, I lost count on Monday night, all day Tuesday, and twice during the night on Tuesday, the ol' Bosco needed to be walked to have the hershies.  On Wednesday I called the pet food place and asked them if the brand had changed recipes and the girl looked up my history and said, "no, you bought the wrong bag".  Seems dogs that get grains get the poopies if you switch to meat only.  But they took the bag back and gave me the kind I need.  That just bought them a customer for life.  Doesn't cost them squat because the employees get the opened return food for their dogs.  Employees happy, customer delighted.  And it sure is nice to have a dog that wakes you up or lets you know when he is about to blow out back; better than cleaning the carpeting.

Bosco, the semi good dog, though I will never forgive him for chewing two holes in the first quilt my mom made me.  But he was great for my dad after we moved out here and I think he has been great for me too.

Take me back, to the rivers of belief.
Take me back, to the rivers of belief,
My friend.
I look inside my heart.
I look inside my soul.
I promise you,
I will return.

And when the Lamb opened the seventh seal,
Silence covered the sky.

Take me back, to the rivers of belief.
Take me back, to the rivers of belief,
My friend.
I look inside my heart.
I look inside my soul.
I'm reaching out for you,
Let's hope one day.
We'll rest in peace.
On my rivers of belief.



I know, "dude, where ya been, eh?"

Well, I've been glued to the computer in the living room watching 5 seasons of Northern Exposure, actually, while doing paperwork for the new job, attending phone sessions to tell us how to fill out paperwork, because NAME FIRST:  and NAME LAST  with SIGN HERE  can be SO confusing!

I like Northern Exposure, except I am sensing this vicarious living going on watching the show.  I always kind of related to Chris, even though my background and the characters background are so different, but I'd love to just be able to spin music and philosophically talk and ramble on each day.  I really like the show where he realized he didn't have to die at 40 like all this preceding 'Stevens'" have and how it messes him up in the head.

One thing I've struggled with is at 56, after caring for two parents, I know what is coming.  I know the aches, pains, problems that are barreling around the bend; it's depressing.  This is the wound that runs so deep.  Yes, I know just because my folks got X doesn't mean I get X and I can exercise and do things to lessen the probability of X but let's face it, Xmas is not a holiday that extends into the future unseen, it's a countdown now, fewer Xmas's in my future than in my past.  And while I am excited as all getup at the new job, let's face it, one thing I did realize is after spending four years caring for my dad, it had such meaning, that there is no job I could get that will provide any meaning to my life.  And it's hard to get excited over meaninglessness.  A cog in the machine.  The Pretender.  My destiny.  All the books, all the reading, all the thinking, and my life ends up as making it day to day, just waiting for the inevitable collapse.  Joy, happiness, family, love, kids, all of that has passed me by.

Okay, yes, I also like Northern Exposure because I've always had a crush on the Maggie character.  There, I said it.  You can have Ginger or Maryanne, Jennifer or Baily, Jeannie or Sam, or Betty Rubble - I'll take Maggie.  And it would be nice to be able to go to a local pub or restaurant every day and have a meal with friends.  In Northern Exposure, the diversity of the crowd, the backgrounds, are irrelevant; they are a community - single, married, rich, poor, white, indian, black, none of that matters; just friends.

I actually had been working for a couple of days on these banker suicides of late.  What caught my eye was the banker for JP in jolly ol' England texted his girlfriend "hey, leaving work, be home in a jiffy" and 10 minutes later 'jumps' off the top of the building. Now, if he lived at the bottom of the jump, you know, where he landed, I would just write this off as those witty brits and all, but he didn't.

However, a couple of days later, a guy in NY with JP commits suicide and lo and behold, it appears the guy in NY was kind of the boss of the guy in London; they ran the IT systems that did all those computer trades and one of them had suggested to a friend they'd found 'something odd'.

So, anyways, I had about 12 paragraphs on this and then yesterday Doug Hagmann wrote a long piece on the topic, more data than mine, less smart aleck comments, and many more jumps in dot connecting, but it really is a good article you should read and I don't like sloppy seconds on a topic so I killed the whole thing.

I hate when I write a blog and then a few days later see someone else write one that sounds a whole lot like mine, especially when theirs goes viral and mine doesn't; so if I see someone else beat me to the deadline, good for them, I will move on.

I've mentioned before how companies are really pressing congress to pass immigration reform and this past week Thomas Donahue of the Chamber of Commerce wrote an op ed piece that I thought I would post part of here, because it can be interpreted on several levels and none of them are good.

 WASHINGTON — In a global economy, investment follows talent. When we draw top talent to our shores, investment dollars follow because companies want to be near the best workers.

An infusion of capital and economic development will be a tide that lifts all boats, creating jobs and opportunity for all Americans.

okay, stop.  We heard that line in 1994 with NAFTA and how has it worked out.  Secondly, there are several assumptions made here, like why do we need a global economy?  Why is a global system better than a regional system?  Why is global econ better than a North American Economy, an Asian Economy, a European economy?

NAFTA did not lift all boats, as a matter of fact, is sunk the middle class in this country, completely.  The global economy has decimated the US middle class and continues to decimate the middle class.  America was a perfect bell curve, with a huge middle and small at two ends, now we are moving to an inverted bell curve, with large ends and no middle.  That is the global economy. And watch what immigration laws, Donahue claims, will fill:

But the reverse is also true. If companies can't find talent on U.S. soil, or if it becomes too costly and burdensome, they will move their operations elsewhere. It's in our own best interests to welcome the world's brightest minds and hardest workers into our economy.

Immigrants can help bridge a growing skills gap in science, technology, engineering and math - the so-called STEM fields that are vital to a modern, competitive economy.

More than half of the master's and doctoral students studying the natural sciences and engineering disciplines at U.S. colleges and universities are from foreign countries.

Meanwhile, the number of American students studying STEM disciplines is growing at less than 1 percent per year. By 2018, there will be 230,000 unfilled positions requiring advanced STEM degrees, even if every U.S. STEM grad finds a job.

Argument one is that we need to rewrite out immigration laws to fill the top end, or right side of the curve.  More than half of the masters and doctorate students in science, math, and engineering are foreign students.

So why do we need to change the law?  If over half of the students in engineering and science are now foreign, do you want to create a system where 90% are foreign?  Maybe one reason Americans are not majoring in engineering and science is the cost of getting said masters and PhD's are so high today because of all the foreign students who are getting tuition assistance?

If you want to increase the number of american students studying science and engineering, how about not allowing any foreign students to study in the US and dropping the tuition in 1/2 for American citizens to study these disciplines?  How about corporate america sponsoring students?  Get you bachelors then IBM or GE will pay for your masters and PhD with you agreeing to work for them for 10 years following graduation?

So Donahue's argument is fallacious.  It will not solve any problems with the US economy, only increase the difficulty of US citizens getting the very degrees he discusses.

Many of our fastest-growing industries require advanced skills and higher education beyond a bachelor's degree - 22 percent of new job openings through 2020 will require at least a master's degree.

Among all 25- to 34-year-olds living in the United States, 10.6 percent of those with masters, professional or doctoral degrees are foreign born, compared with 8.5 percent of native-born young people.

See?  Notice something else he does here.  25 to 34 year olds.  How many 35-60 year olds with masters degrees are there?  How many unemployed 55 year olds with masters degrees are unemployed today, replaced by some foreign born 25 year old?

Donahue is making an argument to actually increase the skill gap between native born Americans and foreign students.  Fill the right side of the high end of an inverted bell curve with foreigners, educated in large part with tax dollars taken from native born americans and subsidized via high tuition costs on native born americans.

Immigration can also address labor shortages in lesser-skilled fields where there are insufficient numbers of either qualified or willing U.S. workers to fill positions.

Many studies have concluded that the greatest percentage of job growth in the United States through 2020 is expected in low- and moderate-skilled jobs that cannot be automated or outsourced. Services like home health and nursing home care, landscaping and hospitality cannot be provided without capable staff ready to do the work.

 Finally, many immigrants are entrepreneurial and view America as the best place to put their dreams to work. They want to create jobs and opportunities for others.

Some 40 percent of Fortune 500 companies in the United States were started by immigrant entrepreneurs or their children. Combined, those enterprises pump $4.2 trillion in annual revenue into our economy. Immigrants are behind tech and business giants like Google, Yahoo, Big Lots and BJ's Wholesale Club.

Please, stop, go back and read those last four paragraphs again.  Lesser skilled fields where Americans are either, key framing there, unqualified or unwilling to fill.  The greatest job growth will be in moderate to low skilled workers, which apparently he claims americans are too stupid to do - or unwilling to do.  And notice these two paragraphs are 'slipped into' the text, he immediately jumps back to the other end of the inverted bell curve and talks about the high end.

Americans are not too stupid to know how to do the job, we just are not stupid enough to be slaves, well obvious slaves.

American middle class was built on 'unskilled labor' work in the 50's and 60s; autoworkers, rail workers, steel workers, coal miners, etc.  Construction jobs abounded and men could support a family and send their kids to colleges on what they earned as carpenters, autoworkers, etc.  But men who did these jobs were paid a good wage; the backbone of the middle class.  Detroit was not a slum in the 1950's, it was a vast middle class of working men, wives at home, kids in school.  Detroit became a slum as jobs went overseas.

What Donahue is really arguing for is slave labor that americans are unwilling to do.  To bring in mexicans, asians, etc to work for minimum wages to do jobs that use to provide our fathers and grandfathers with a good life.

Do you want to create a job boom in this country?  Make it impossible to hire illegal aliens; I can't believe the ropes I've gone thru to prove to my new employer I'm a native US citizen, who is hiring all the illegals?  Clear out 30 million illegal aliens from the workforce and watch the jobs open up, the wages go up.  Yes, prices will go up too, but then, prices are going up anyways.  It's easier to live with 20% inflation when you have a job than 10% inflation when you don't have a job.

To fully leverage the education, effort and entrepreneurship of those who have or want to come from around the world to study, work or innovate in America, we must reform our immigration policies.

Under our broken system, those essential contributions to our workforce and our economy are at risk. We're sending foreign-born students educated in the United States back to their home countries, or to competitors, to compete against us. We're sending companies the message that their investments may be better off somewhere else, where workers are available to fill their jobs and serve their customers.

This is where Donahue and I can agree: the system is broken.  But it's not broken because we don't allow enough immigration, it's broken because we've allowed too many immigrants to illegally enter the country, it's broken because we subsidize foreign students to study here while raping the US citizen in taxes and tuition to where our citizens are 100k in debt if they try to get a college education.  Look up the rate high education costs have gone up since 1990; it's double the rate of health care increases.

To fix the system, we don't need to legalize 30 million people living in this country illegally, we don't need to subsidize more foreign students, we need to clear out the illegal aliens from the job markets, we need to clear out the universities of subsidies for foreign students, and need to make it less costly for citizens of the US to attend college, more attractive to get those degrees in sciences and engineering (and after reading Donahue's logic, some course work in logic and critical thinking might be recommended as required coursework rather than women studies or some other stupid waste of tuition and time).

And there is something else all those illegal aliens haven't thought of yet: when you get this immigration reform, when you are US citizens by virtue of illegal entering this country, you will be the new army drafted to fight the next big war.

Could that be why this is being pushed so hard?  To add another 10 or 15 million soldiers for fodder?

We need reforms to our high- and lesser-skilled visa policies so that talent at all ends of the spectrum can live and work in the United States. 

See, he said it.  The ends of the spectrum.  Highly skilled highly paid professionals and slave labor at the other end.  No middle class just the ends of the spectrum.

These reforms must come along with other fixes to our immigration system, including improved employment verification, greater border security and a pathway out of the shadows for the 11 million undocumented immigrants in our country. It's time for Congress to set aside politics and modernize our immigration system.

Perfect neocon paragraph.  Fix the immigration system, secure borders, improve employment verification and then under estimate the illegal population.  It's not 11 million, it was over 20 million in the late 90's, do we think half those people went home?  The real number is over 30 million, hell there are at least 10 million in California alone.

Through common-sense immigration reform, we have a tremendous opportunity to help close the skills gap in our workforce, address labor shortages, strengthen our economy and create jobs for everyone living in America. But if we don't act on this national priority soon, we'll fall behind in the global competition for talent, putting our economy and American jobs at risk.

The attitude and thinking of people like Donahue are a major reason this country is going downhill fast.  From NAFTA to legalizing 30 million illegal aliens.  While they will argue if legalized, those 30 million will all contribute taxes and social security but what about the number than didn't pay anything into SS and will then claim it?  They won't fix the system, it will create a larger demand and bankrupt the system sooner.

The global economy is about only one thing folks; cheap labor.  That is it.  The only reason Ford or GM wants to build cars in China is cheap labor.  The reason they want immigration reform in the US is cheaper labor. I spent most of my life arguing against Unions because I saw them as corrupt organizations that exploited the workers as much as the companies wanted to exploit them, but now I see a need in this country for a new union, a union that truly supports workers, wages, and protects the middle class.

The end of America.  A beautiful bell curve where people were grouped in the middle class, where those on the lower left end could work hard and move into the middle; all replaced by an inverted bell curve where we are a nation of poor and wealthy.

In a fair world, the American people would outsource our federal government to a minimum wage employment with no health or retirement benefits.

The fact is, after reading the article, Donahue completely fails to prove his assertion that we will fall behind in global competition and American jobs are already risked, they've been eliminated at millions a year for over two decades now because of the thinking of people like Donahue.  The strength of this country was a large thriving middle class and legalizing 30 million illegal aliens will do absolutely nothing to support a thriving middle class but will destroy it further.  Subsidizing foreign students at the expense and on the backs of US citizens will not support a thriving middle class, but destroy it.

Thomas Donahue should be fired from his position and the american small business owner should drop any further support of the US Chamber of Commerce immediately.


Ever close your eyes
Ever stop and listen
Ever feel alive
And you've nothing missing
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on

Let the rain fall down
Everywhere around you
Give into it now
Let the day surround you
You don't need a reason
Let the rain go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

Only take the time
From the helter skelter
Every day you find
Everything's in kilter
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on

Every summer sun
Every winter evening
Every spring to come
Every autumn leaving
You don't need a reason
Let it all go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child


Monday, February 10, 2014


Sometimes, I wish my brain would be able to take a vacation.

I read a novel last week, Simple Genius by David Baldacci.  I like some of Baldacci's books, though they trend along that line of ex super soldiery types with troubles who saves the world while dealing with not being breast fed as a kid.  And Simple Genius travels along similar lines, except the troubled person is a chick, which is different.

But at some point during the book, fairly early on, the lead male protagonist, also an ex Secret Service agent but not nearly as troubled unless being a neat freak who can't deal with his emotional attraction to his partner, the troubled chick, counts as troubled; is meeting with this scientist who is showing him around and he asks about the sign P=NP.

Basically, P represents deterministic polynomial time and NP is a non deterministic polynomial time.  The goal of the scientists was to find the golden chalice, the Ark, the fountain of youth of mathematics - the equation that makes what appears non deterministic, deterministic.

So I finished the novel, the whole time this little less than a page discussion burning a hole in my brain.  Something in here bothered me, I'm not sure what, because I really don't understand it.

The argument is that all NP problems are really P problems, they just haven't figured out the equation, but once they do, then it will work across all sorts of applications and environments.  Polynomials are like 5x + 3yz = A.  Deterministic polynomials are considered 'easy' from a mathy point of view.  Predictable answers in a predictable time. Non deterministic polynomials are not 'easy', not predictable, and unknown times.

But all this has spun around my brain for about a week now, I need to get rid of it so I can think about other things, like preparing for my job, figuring out where to move when lease is up and balancing filing Chapter 7, how to pay the lawyer, and do all that without screwing one or all of it up.  Instead, I've got this polynomial thing knocking around the skull.

I think, the key words in this problem, are deterministic and non deterministic; this is where the paradox lies.  I remember as a psych major arguing endlessly with profs and other students about Skinner's Law of Determinism.  Skinner was a really strange fellow; I've always thought his book Walden II was the scariest of all the futuristic books; scarier than 1984, This Perfect Day, or Brave New World.  Why?  Because with Walden II, unlike the others, you have a book written where the author endorses, believes in, and desires this future he paints.  Skinner thought given enough information, all future behavior is predictable - deterministic.  Even spontaneous behaviors would be predictable because the person has a history of spontaneous behavior.  And if you can't find the variables and stimuli that produces predicted behavior in the persons history, it's because you haven't looked far enough or close enough at the history of behaviors and environmental stimuli.

That borders on faith, which I always argued.  It is there, you just haven't found it is faith.  But there is also an evil in Skinner's work.  If all future behavior is predictable based on past behavior, including spontaneous acts, then a person who did illegal things as a youth could be predicted to do them as an adult and what of a society where we start dealing with others not on what they did but what is predicted that they do when their entire lives are now online, billions of events and variables of your life bouncing around some database and the algorithms decided that it's highly probable that you will do X next week, given current conditions.

Deterministic polynomial = non deterministic polynomial.  There is a key assumption here from a mathematician; that all NP problems are really P problems, therefore, there exists a solution.  But what if that assumption is wrong?  Can humans alway be deterministic?  Can we be fit into a model?  Maybe as a culture; you could say middle class white people brought up in suburbs will in general behave differently than black youths brought up in housing projects by six generations of welfare lifers, which will be different than kids raised on farms which will be different than children brought to this country as illegal aliens and raised in America, who will be different than legal immigrants who are brought to this country as kids.  But here is the problem with such generalizations; you can apply them to a group, generalize, and be fairly accurate (pay close attention to the word fairly) - but the moment you apply that generality to any specific individual, you will find many errors in the generalization.  Models work on a macro level, not on the micro level.

People surprise us all the time.  The problem isn't in the person, it's in the model you or I created, developed, categorized, and placed that person.  It is always the model that is wrong, not the person.  How many relationship problems are caused by the man not fitting the mental model of the other female's ideal?  And visa versa.  Yet we move further and further in a society that models, categorizes, and develops deterministic algorithms to put each person in their respective silos.  Individuals are not ever going to fit in a deterministic model.  Mankind might, but not the individual.  Man was not meant to fit any any silo.

Look at the examples of the ramifications of this movement.  Zero tolerance.  A deterministic model to reduce bad behavior in schools.  Zero tolerance of weapons.  So the straight A student is in the lunchroom, pulls out a flimsy plastic knife to spread peanut butter on bread and is expelled.  Or the Eagle scout who was camping over the weekend and didn't clear out his trunk of the camping equipment and has an axe or scout knife in the trunk and is expelled.  Is that what the deterministic model was designed to do?  Actually, yes, it was.

What are a few innocent people having their lives ruined for the betterment of the school as a whole?  Somewhere along the line, we decided as a society that it is unfair to not expel the Eagle Scout and expel the gang member who has a knife too.  No difference between Scouting and the White Nazi KKK kid.  Both are gangs, both have weapons.  It may not have been the intent of the Zero Tolerance, but it was a known result.

And that has been what is bugging me.  The continued effort to force round pegs into square holes.  The continued effort to force non deterministic life into a deterministic model.  And unlike zero tolerance's known result would be innocent kids being caught in the net, there are many more examples of unanticipated consequences from trying to force individuals into a strict deterministic model.

God was smart, don't you know.  Thou shalt not steal.  Plain, simple and understood.  Everyone understood.  And we understood intent.  Sometimes when I shop, I like to drink a bottle of water as I cruise around the store.  Lots of times, if I have a basket, I'll put the bottle in my coat pocket as I walk about the store.  Once, I forgot and checked out without paying for the water.  I got all the way out to the car, realized I had the bottle in my coat pocket,  and went back in to pay for the water.  But what if I was caught at the door?  Was I stealing or just having a senior moment?  In our deterministic model of the world, intent no longer has a place, it is theft just as if I went in to that store determined to fill my pockets with whatever would fit.

Is this all part of why we all feel so uncomfortable in the world today?  Is this why Andy Griffith's show is still the most popular rerun on TV?

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when the fog horn blows I want to hear it
I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And magnificently we will fold into the mystic

Van Morrison