This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Friday, January 31, 2014


Okay, that headline shouldn't be a newsflash.

Still waiting to find out on job with XXX.  Monday was told I passed the interviews, now it was background check time.  Tuesday heard from person doing background check and I'd feel a whole lot better about the process if the person understood english.  Person kept asking for verification for employment as a caretaker - I kept explaining there is no employment, I'd quit work to take care of my father while he was dying of Alzheimer's and she asked if she could talk to him.

My life, in the balance, of this?  Heard from one person who was contacted as a reference and he had the same problems with the person.  The global economy.  So at this point I have no idea whether I'm going to get the job now because I have no idea what the background check is going to show.  Will it be accurate that I've never been arrested, charged, fired, etc or will I come out a career criminal because the background checker hires people in some country with minimal english language skills?

Where is that massive solar flare?

Anyways, where was I, oh yes, confusion.  Lots of stories of late concerning the fact that 1% of the elite control over 50% of the money.  What is so hard to understand about that?  It's always been that way.

Show me a time in history where the 1% didn't control the money?  Teddy Roosevelt fought hard against those at the beginning of the 20th century who controlled all the money.  For at least a century or more, the Catholic Church and the Kings/Queens of Europe controlled all the money.  Same in Asia with the dynasties controlling the population.  It's always been this way.  Is it a lack of history education, the type of history or did some journalism majors just figure all this out?

If a president took all the assets from every person in the country, stocks, cash, bonds, etc and divided it up evenly so Bill Gates and Buffet had as much money on Monday as the waitress at the Egg & I, how long do you think it would take before Gates and Buffett had all the money and the waitress was broke again?  A year?  Almost every broke poor sob would be broke and poor within the year and all that money would be back in the pockets of people like Buffett.  Just the way it is.

Sure, some would look at the windfall and figure out a way to make it last, I'm sure all my imaginary readers would because you obviously have a higher level of intelligence and are smarter than the average bear.  Never hurts to suck up to your readers…

Been doing a deep study of Daniel and Revelation.  First, why does every person doing a commentary on Revelation have to repeat ad nauseum that the book is Revelation, not Revelations with an S as if the key to getting into heaven will be reserved only to those who know Revelation is singular?  Makes me want to call it Revelations just to cause millions of fundamentalists to gasp in horror at such heresy.

What fascinates me is not the part of Revelation that everyone else is so focused on, I like Chapters 2 and 3 and the seven letters to the seven churches.  There is some real seriously good stuff in those two chapters.  Skip the rest, focus on Chapters 2 and 3.

I am also trying to track when the first horseman was first called the antiChrist.  See, here is the problem.  If the horseman were released in February, how would anyone know?  One quarter of the earth is already starving, inflation is rampant in everyone's currency, and wars are raging already; so how would we know?

Or, have the horseman been released for centuries?   What if Lucifer is the first horseman?

Then there are the debates of pre, mid, or post tribulation and I've discovered there is one little factoid that makes mid trib or post trib a problem and it has to do with imminence, we don't know when Jesus is coming, but if it's after this seal or after that trumpet, then the doctrine of imminent is in trouble.

Of course, to balance all this deep thought, I also downloaded from youtube The Thin Blue Line which is a two season comedy from the BBC staring Mr. Bean.

Life in balance.

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you
Think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Once the world was new
Our bodies felt the morning dew
That greets the brand new day
We couldn't tear ourselves away
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you still remember
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are
Touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound
I had to follow
Once upon a time
Once beneath the stars
The universe was ours


Wednesday, January 29, 2014


First off, thank you Teri for the wonderful book review on Amazon, which I will post here because people rarely say anything nice about me so this is proof that somebody out there likes me:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great journey! January 29, 2014
By Teri
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I also somehow stumbled upon the blog [...] written by Dick Lane. He offers a great commentary on the events of the day and what is happening in our country. Being a baby boomer I can relate to what he writes.

I really enjoyed reading about Dick's adventures while caring for his father who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I was touched that Dick promised to keep both his mom and dad out of a nursing home and went through hell and high water to do so. The book renewed my faith in humankind. There are definitely some great people out there that are persistent and will keep their word no matter what.

Although Dick often questioned why God was throwing so many difficulties his way, he never lost his faith in Him. It is a great testimony to the love one can have for their parents and/or others in their life and going the distance in helping others out when needed.

I enjoyed going on the journey with Dick and I think others will too! A great read. 

Thank you for the kind words, I don't know if I am a 'great people' but I do know there are others who did what I did and there are many who have faced worse situations.  Unfortunately, it's 20 year old boys who are packaged as singers who make the headlines in America.  The heart and soul of this nation go, unnoticed, which is why it touches me so deeply when I read a review from a perfect stranger; two lives touching.

Is there such a thing as an imperfect stranger?

I don't know which story today made me burst out laughing more; both involved 'studies' done - I'm sure with taxpayer money.  The first was a NASA study which after years of research determined that the human body was not meant to survive in space.

No shit?  How much money did that take?  What next, NASA determines that the human body is not made to live under water or in fire?

Yes, I know the study was about long term space travel, but it still struck me as funny.  Once again, it takes millions of dollars and years of study to determine what any midwesterner could have told you  without spending a dime.

Speaking of spending a dime, the new study just out has determined that men with bigger testicles are more likely to cheat in a  marriage.  Serioiusly, on the Drudge Report.  This is the second study to confirm that large testicled men are more likely to stray in a marriage than small testicled men.

But, how exactly do you obtain an objective sample for such a study?  I am picturing student research assistants for some psych department hanging out in front of some hotel, waiting for a couple to come out of the room, then asking "is that your wife or are you cheating?"  "May we measure your testicles, sir?"

Or think of the wife whom reads the article then decides to measure her husbands testicles while he sleeps tonight and when she discovers his testicles are in the range of most likely to cheat, punches her sleeping husband.

And what of small testicled men, is this an opportunity for us to, er, I mean, them,  them to sell the fact they have small testicles?  "Honey, I love you, I want to spend my life with you, I have small testicles, don't you know, so I won't cheat, marry me?"

What would we do without such studies.

Now, the big question is whether this one scientist, Steve Goddard,  will look into their numbers and research the way he did the weather data.  What he caught was the government padding the numbers to show global warming, shows how they were doing it, and provides the actual graphical look without the padding:

So, there you have it, our government fudging data to justify spending trillions and eliminating jobs, cars, and all sorts of things for no reason what so ever.

But, alas fair maidens, fear not, for a solution to the non existent global warming has been found at Harvard University!  Former doomed love struck actor in Office and a Gentleman,  now skinny bearded Harvard professor David Keith, has come up with a solution to all of our global warming problems.  All we need to do is pump sulfuric acid into the stratosphere every year!  I kid thee not!  Yes, sulfuric acid rain kills, oh plants, animals, humans and such every year, but the increase in deaths will be offset by the over all benefit to mother earth or something like that, I was laughing so hard at this point I wasn't really paying attention.

You don't believe me.  Fine, read for yourself:

 "This is a provocative book ... by one of the few real experts on the subject. David Keith is a technophile environmentalist with a weakness for the wilderness, who argues that a “brutally ugly technical fix” – injecting sulphate aerosols into the stratosphere – is one of the tools that we need to deploy real soon. He is frank about the risks and disadvantages of this technique, but concludes that the benefits would outweigh them – especially for those who are most at risk from climate change. If you want to increase your understanding of solar geoengineering, and you don’t mind having your assumptions challenged, this is the book to read"
-John Shepherd, FRS

See folks, you don't have to make stuff up.  The funniest nuttiest ideas are out there.  The benefits outweigh the disadvantages, otherwise known as death, to solve a problem that statisticians have show not only doesn't exist, but is being perpetrated on the public with manipulated data.

I think someone should pump Dr. Keith's you know what full of sulfuric acid and let some psych student measure them.

edited grammar problems on 1/30

So I thought about her as I sang that night
And how the circle keeps rolling around.
How I act as I'm facing the footlights
And how she's flying with both feet on the ground.

I guess it's a sequel to our story
From the journey 'tween heaven and hell
With half the time thinking of what might have been
and half thinkin' it's just as well.

I guess only time will tell.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


So big story today is Apple stock tanking because their quarterly earnings report 'disappointed' Wall Street.

Did you read the numbers?  The sales were above expectations.  The net profits were above expectations.  So what was the problem?

They didn't sell as quite as many phones or iPads as some analyst said they should sell.  Tank goes the stock.

I remember back in the 1990's and I had stock in Citrix.  Citrix made some  ridiculous profit per share but was 1 cent below analysts predictions, so the stock tanked.  Meanwhile, Amazon didn't lost as many millions that quarter as analysts expected, so their stock soared.  And that is when I got out of the stock market.  When one company makes a nearly obscene profit but is 1 fracking cent off some analyst's crystal ball, the stock tumbles and another company loses more per share than Citrix made per share and their stock goes up because they didn't lose as much money as the crystal ball thought.

And all of that, dear reader, is what has led to most of America's business problems.  CEO's are driving companies by the quarterly earnings report.  Hit the numbers, bonus time.  Miss the numbers, find new job.  Remember how 'we' are not suppose to live paycheck to paycheck?  But that is what Wall Street America demands of the corporations, live QER to QER.

So companies move their manufacturing overseas, have massive layoffs, and do whatever it takes to hit those numbers which introduces the second problem.

Those numbers.  Here we go again.  Those numbers are made up pulled out of the wazoo numbers by some Ivy League MBA.  They are based on past performance and a little spin and english by the analysts.  How does McDonalds know how many hamburgers they are going to sell in February?  How does Apple know how many iPhones?  It's based on how many they sold last month, last year, at this point in the life cycle of previous products, etc.

But life is not an exact science.  No one pays attention to VARIATION.  Nice, normal variation.  McDonalds doesn't know the exact number of burgers, but it will correctly predict the number based on past performances +/- 1 sigma.  Being off 1 sigma from predictions isn't a disappointment or a surprise, it's normal.

Let's go to sports.  Guy averages 35 home runs a year for 10 years. Now, if his high number in a year is 39 and his lowest number a year is 31, when he hits 34 this year do you say, he sucks, trade him?  No, he hit about what you would expect him to hit.

I'm sure many of those analysts would argue a 55 mph speed limit has a built in variation so 60 should not get them pulled over in their 100k Benz by the Connecticut State Police, but same analyst will predict doom and gloom for any company that comes 1 penny short on it's sales.

So here are my questions.  Some analyst said this morning he is putting a sell on Apple and predicting a downside price of around 300 a share.  So how do we know said analyst, their spouse, their company, their friends, aren't going to make millions on playing his predictions?  Say Apple drops, they buy in, new products release, and Apple goes back up.  Or maybe I'm naive and they already had their options and short sells set because the analyst intentionally applied a pad to his numbers, knowing they wouldn't hit those numbers, thus cornering them into a predicted fall.

Oh, no, they have rules against that?  Well what keeps the analyst working tech stocks from tipping off the analyst doing food stocks so the food analyst makes the millions and then reciprocates the favor to the tech guy on the food stocks?  You would never know.

Who are the analysts?  What makes them different that the typical ex football player analyst who is going to spend 20 minutes analyzing the two teams, making a prediction, and they really don't have a clue.  What exactly did Howie, Terry, Dan, etc predict for the last Superbowl, or two years ago, or three years ago?

See, most experts don't know any more than you about what is going to happen, what makes them experts is they can articulate some interesting look at the situation - regardless of whether or not it works out.

Dick Morris is like that.  I remember listening to his analysis of the upcoming vote for the 2000 election and it was so damn interesting how a 1% move here or if it's 3% it will mean this.  Damn interesting and totally wrong.  That should be put on Morris's headstone at the end of his life:  Damn interesting but totally wrong.  But the head stone must be a giant toe.  I'm sorry, painting a woman's toes in bed is kind of sexy; sucking on the toes of a hooker is creepy.  Being a short fat guy sucking on the toes of a hooker is seriously creepy.

So what exactly are the success scores of stock analysts?  Shouldn't they be required to, when saying this stock will do this or this stock will do that, to post their success percentage over the last 5 years?  "Hey, I think Google is going to fall far short of profits this quarter!"  Now, if I am 99% accurate over the last 5 years, it means something different than if I were 18% accurate in my analysts crystal ball.

Why do corporations put up with this?  I think Coke, a few years ago, said they were no longer going to release quarterly numbers, but I don't know if they did.  But more companies need to get off this quarterly report card crap.  All it does is make companies sell the future of their company for quarterly numbers, plays havoc on the lives of employees who are fired, not for performance or need, but just to help make the quarterly earnings report.

What is the point of all of this?  Analysts are ruining people's lives.  Missing the numbers by what is normal variation is going to cost people thousands and tens of thousands of dollars in the 401k, mutual funds, and IRAs today.  I spite of the fact sales beat estimates, the number of phones sold was below, so will people lose their jobs?  New hires put on hold?  And why?

Because some analyst decided four months ago what Apple should sell this past quarter.  Some Ivy League MBA who would sell his mother short if it meant making his company bonus has just sent the market into a tizzy.  And it happens every quarter, to hundreds of companies, and I'd bet my left nut that same analysts are making millions on their dice rolling.

And it caused companies to sell out on America.  We sold our manufacturing, services, and other core abilities to overseas slave type labor; we now buy our raw materials overseas.  Just think how much better the stocks of fast food companies will do in the very near future buying their chicken from China now.  Yep, the chickens that yearly produce all those new flu viruses is going to be sold in the US now.  Out of businesses go the American chicken farms and into out tummies comes factory raised chickens from China.  Yum.

And the analysts will love it.  They won't eat it, but they will love the QER.

Let's see, after the revolution, someone remember to put analysts on the lists for extermination, along with politicians, bankers, cat lovers, TV news talk show hosts, and anyone who attends a Hollywood type awards show or watches such shows.

I can tell you been hurt
By that look on your face girl
Some god probably sent me
To your happy world
You need love
But your afraid
That if you give in
Someone else
Will come along
And sock it to you again
One Bad Apple don't spoil the whole darn bunch
Oh Give it one more chance before you give up on love girl
One Bad Apple don't spoil the whole darn bunch
Oh I don't care what they say I don't care what you've heard
Whoo... Whoo…

The Osmond Brothers
I used an Osmond Brothers song.  It was either them or Bobby Goldsboro

Saturday, January 25, 2014


Been listening to R.E.M. today.  I always like them and the strange thing is with REM that I tend to like their work as they aged, whereas with most musicians, I like the early music, before they get famous and start having people telling them what to do.  Or before they start writing for dollars and not art.

While REM mellowed over the decades, they gained their depth.  The funny thing is, while I have most of their albums, I had to look up the name of the lead singer because I had no clue.

Never idolized musicians, I either like the music or not.  I don't particularly care what and who they are when they are not singing, hell, if I did that and decided to only listen to straight, non drug taking, no alcohol, no fornicating adulterating, singers, I'd be stuck listening to the 3rd grade band playing only Sousa.

Crap, you can't even listen to monks chanting without wondering anymore.

And I wait to hear whether I got the job with XXXXXX.  It's been a long time I've ever wanted something like this; I don't like that my whole life is being decided for me by a bunch of strangers that don't really know me.  Get it and I get to live, not get it and I get to live in my car come March.

But REM made all that easier today.  I even liked the way they quit.  No pre announcement, no farewell tour, just 'Bye'.  Classy move, hope they stick to it and don't get talked into some reunion tour or album.

Though a benefit concert for a homeless author that no one reads might be cool.

I don't know why you're mean to me
when I call on the telephone.
and I don't know what you mean to me
but I want to turn you on, turn you up, figure you out, I want to take you on

These words, "You will be mine."
These words, "You will be mine." all the time.

the fool might be my middle name
But I'd be foolish not to say
I'm going to make whatever it takes,
ring you up, call you down, sign your name, secret love,
make it rhyme, take you in, and make you mine.

These words, "You will be mine."
These words, "You will be mine." all the time. oh

I tripped and fell. did I fall.
What I want to feel, I want to feel it now

You know with love come strange currencies
and here is my appeal:

I need a chance, a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance,
a word, a signal, a nod, a little breath
just to fool myself, to catch myself, to make it real, real


Thursday, January 23, 2014


edited 1/24

I admit, I like reading Kierkegaard.  I like his parables.  My favorite I posted on the old blog, it's in the book, and come to think, it might still be on the old blog, about a theatre, the crowd and the fire.  You know, never mind, I will post it again, because I like it so much.

A theatre where a show is proceeding. Each section of the show, the music, the comics, and the dancers is more fantastic than the previous, and is enthusiastically applauded by the audience. Suddenly the manager comes forward. He apologizes for the interruption, but the theater is on fire, and he begs his patrons to leave in an orderly fashion. The audience think this is part of the evening show, and cheer thunderously. The manager again implores them to leave the burning building, and the crowd laughs and cheers. At last he can do no more and runs out of the building. Then the fire races through the whole building burning it,  and the fun-loving audience, to ashes. "And so," concluded Kierkegaard, "will our age, I sometimes think, go down in fiery destruction to the applause of a crowded house of cheering spectators."

I love that parable, doesn't it capture that lump in your gut when you look at the world today?  Did you see where because of the absolute cluster bomb of Obamacare, health insurance companies may be bankrupt this year?  Aetna's CEO said they may just get out of the business while they can.  I told you the whole plan of Obamacare was to force national health care on all of us.  Almost 70% of the people who have signed up are…. being put in Medicaid.

Sorry, none of that had anything to do with what I really want to talk about today.

There is a town where only ducks live.

Every Sunday the ducks waddle out of their houses and waddle down the main street to their church.

They waddle into the cathedral and squat in their pews.

The duck choir sings and then the duck pastor comes and reads from the duck bible.

He encourages them, “Ducks, God has given you wings!  With these wings you can fly!  With these wings you can rise up and soar like eagles!  No walls can confine you, no fences can hold you.  You have wings and you can fly like birds!”

All the ducks shout “Amen.”

And then they waddle home.

Obviously, the parable of the ducks is a message for we Christians, probably a great one if we pay attention.

Now, depending on your worldview, you might find Kierkegaard interesting or a heretic of some sort because he wrote that the truth can be subjective.  So how does a Christian resolve absolute truth, subjectivity, and relative truth?  Is it an Either/Or proposition or a Either/And?

Part one of the problem is to define words; relative is not the same thing as subjective.
That is the mistake many people make in this discussion, assuming relative and subjective are the same thing, they are not.

When I talk to some friends, who's life is going great, they always give thanks to God, which is the right thing to do.  All that we have is a gift from God; this is the message Daniel delivered to Nebuchadnezzar at the beginning of The Book of Daniel.  But what of the person in life, like me, struggling?  Is the struggle a gift from God?  Or is it a punishment from God?  If so, why?

So while a truth, God exists and all we have we have from God is an absolute truth, do you understand the subjectivity of such a truth depending on whether your life is clicking on all cylinders or your life is broken down in poverty, ill health, or other such issues?

Are absolutists as blind as relativists?

Just as in earthly life lovers long for the moment when they are able to breathe forth their love for each other, to let their souls blend in a soft whisper, so the mystic longs for the moment when in prayer he can, as it were, creep into God.

For example, death is absolute.  An absolute truth.  We die.  Our parents, brothers, sisters, children, pets, etc will die.  Absolute.  But death is relative in our lives.  What does death mean to a child, a teenager, someone in the prime of life and someone in the autumn of their life?  A couple married for 50 years and now one lies in a hospital bed, never to get out of the bed again, Death is Absolute, but is death the same to the one in the bed as to the one sitting next to the bed, watching their life partner slip away?

Love is absolute, but subjective to the one who loves another and has such love returned, and love that is not returned.  The love in the individual is absolute, but oh, what a difference between a love that is mirrored and a love that is refused.

Truth: absolute and subjective at the same time.

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth - look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.

And Nebuchadnezzar spent seven years in the wilderness, eating grass, punished for his sins of ego and placing himself above God; crazy to the bone, thinking himself a wild beast, which believe it or not, is an actual mental illness listed in the Psych journals.  Was this a blessing from God too?

The proud person always wants to do the right thing, the great thing. But because he wants to do it in his own strength, he is fighting not with man, but with God.

Stop and think about the parables of Jesus in the Gospels.  Were they absolute?  There were certainly lessons we are to learn from the parables but did you ever notice that most parables leave you hanging?  Did the man unconscious on the side of the road, the one the Good Samaritan picked up, ever recover?  What about the father and the older son in the Prodigal Son?  The parables of the Son of God are absolute and relative in that we see a lesson but never fully understand the ending.  But how you comprehend those parables are subjective.

Herein lies the problem with the absolutist: you assume because a person's specific opinion on X is wrong, according to your absolute view, that everything the person says is also wrong.  And that is the sin of the Absolutist.  Do I think everything Lewis, Tolkien, Aquinas, Kreeft, or Kierkegaard said or wrote is absolutely correctly in line with God our Father in Heaven?  No.  But then neither is everything I think or write.

Kierkegaard struggled with God.  I struggle with God and what I read in the Bible.  I do not find contradictions in the Bible, I do find paradoxes though.  And paradoxes are honey to a thinker but sometimes we end up wrong in our thinking of the paradoxes.

Just as we do in life.  The truth is absolute: our view of that absolute will be subjective.  Our view of God in this country, when we drive to church in a Benz, do our duties in church, drive home to our house and watch the playoffs on a 48 inch flat panel television is a different view of truth than the church goer in China, India, Pakistan, Columbia, and many other places who must sneak out, sneak home, and pray they are not found, beaten, raped, jailed, and put to death.  How can anyone possibly not see the subjectivity of the absolute?

Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.

Read more at: http://www.loveaquote.com/authors/soren-kierkegaard-quotes/ 
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth - look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be i

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


I almost titled this entry "Drip, Drip, Drip" but then realized I have forever ruined that word, kind of like gays ruined 'gay'.

So Hollywood took a Clancy novel and changed the evil terrorists from Muslim terrorists to right wing Christian terrorists planning to blow up NY.  The Christian community is outraged and plan praying for the lost souls of Hollywood.  Funny thing though, the 'leader' of this Christian bombing cult is some orthodox priest in Dearborn MI.  Ah, allegory - or linking via association?  Social conditioning and people will pay, well, I'm not sure what people will pay it's been over 10 years since I went to a movie.

Oh, oooh, trivia time!!!!! A free pat on the back to the imaginary reader who can guess what the last movie I saw at a theatre was!

So, Olympic fans, are you scared?  Stories raging on the fringe about how terrorists are going to bomb the Olympics.  Not to stop there, we got stories up the wazoo that the bombing will not only occur, but it's being planned and funded by Saudis, Americans, British, Hollywood screen writers, disenchanted bloggers, or Snowden.  But my lithe little brain is thinking, "hey, wasn't all this predicted prior to the London Olympics in 2012?"  So, I looked it up and wow, weeks and weeks of predictions of end of the world terrorists attacks on London; our athletes were all going to die, don't go to the Olympics! Hell, some Rockefeller predicted up to 13,000 dead in London!

And, nothing happened.  Hey, no doubt this could happen in Sochi, they have a lot of pissed off muslims under Russian control and it's entirely possible.  Didn't see much on the Vancouver Olympics in 2010 for terrorists, but there were some; I think mostly they were afraid of pissed off hockey fans in Vancouver.  But London was blanketed with predictions of terror and afterwards?  No Ooops, but switch story to the occult under themes of the opening and closing ceremonies.

So who knows  what will happen.  Maybe it is a false flag to embarrass Russia, maybe the widows of dead muslim men killed by russians will blow themselves up, maybe the Saudi's will stage something, you know, like 9/11, because Russia supports Syria.  But it sure makes great reading on the fringe websites and blogs…..

Unless you use to live in Wyoming.  Did you pay your dues, did you read the news, this morning when the paper landed, in your yard?  The EPA, otherwise known as the Obama Gestapo, has declared by decree that 1,000,000 acres of Wyoming is now no longer part of Wyoming but part of an Indian reservation and everyone living in three towns that are in this 1M acre area are now living on Indian Land.

I don't know why these people are complaining, they now don't have to pay income taxes and if they were smart, they'd turn the town into a big casino and learn to say "how" and beat a drum.

But did you know the EPA, by simple decree, can take land away from a state?  First of all, what does the EPA have to do with Indians?  Seriously out of control now folks.  I hope the gov of Wyoming declares a special election and gives everyone in the state the chance to vote on secession.  By the way, google did some study where you look at, by state, the most searched term for that state and over a dozen of them were 'secession'.  Hmm, no civil war coming in our future...

Has anyone else nicknamed the governor of NJ; Chris Christy Kreme?  Never was a fan of the guy, I hate middle aged fat assed guys who still think they are tough guys; all you need to do is get them to chase you for two blocks and you can then kick them as they lay on the ground dying of a heart attack, cussing you out and telling you they are going to kick your ass as soon as they have a transplant.  But it's interesting how Christy is getting mashed now.  Is it because he served his usefulness to the media?  Or is it because republicans are still pissed off for that photo op he gave Obama the weekend before the election?  Either way, he is toast, well, a jelly doughnut, in his case. 

Crap, there was something else I wanted to talk about…. oh yea, now I remember.  The military is experimenting with replacing soldiers with robots.  Golly, hedonistic devil worshiping occult world leaders with an army of robots.  Somehow I'm not sure that is going to work out real well for humanity.  But we shall see, they are raising money right now to put up a giant statue of Robocop in Detroit, which is kind of odd since there are rumors in the real estate market that Chinese are buying up blocks and blocks of Detroit; they will soon own a large part of the city, kick out the blacks, fix up all those old brownstones and have a big Chinese city right there in Michigan, right next to those crazy Christian terrorists in Dearborn.

Robocop?  It wasn't that good  a movie?  What next?  New York tears down Grant's Tomb to put up a 40 foot statue of the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man?  It's funny how our world is morphing into so many 1980 movies; Robocop and today we are trying to make super soldiers, the Terminator, Real Genius and laser weapons.  And who can argue that the killer line from War Games, "General, you are letting a computer do your thinking for you" doesn't sum up our country today.

It's snowing in my brain.

Did you pay your dues?
Did you read the news
This morning when the paper landed in your yard?
Do you know their names?
Can you play their games
Without losin' track
And coming down a bit too hard?

Guess Who?

Monday, January 20, 2014


In what would be a shock to long term imaginary readers and friends, I have nothing to say.

I don't really want to use this blog to regurgitate news stories, though when I find obscure ones I will write about them, like the private prison system, but there are already some one gazillion such blogs.

And I am tired of bitching about life.  I did have a second interview with a company this morning which will be a great job if I keep getting through the interview process and the 5 weeks of training.  Not going to mention who, jinxes and all.  So pray hard or whatever for some luck coming my way on that front.

Did have some fun yesterday downloading from YouTube.  Went looking for the theme song to Family Classics with Frazier Thomas.  If you didn't grow up in Chicagoland in the 50's, 60's, or 70's you have no idea what I'm talking about, but Family Classics was what WGN played on Sunday afternoons between baseball season.  Actually, it started at noon with either Sherlock Holmes or Charlie Chan movies, then Family Classics where you watched old movies like Robin Hood, Sink the Bismark, and others.  I thought the theme would make a cool ringtone.

Cool ringtones are defined as a tune that nobody else has on their phone.

Which led me to other things like the theme song to Beanie and Cecil, the old Hamms beer commercials and now I've got this great collection of ringtones for a phone that almost never rings.  I don't know if this will post in the blog or not:

Sometimes I read other blogs and copy and paste the info in one of my blogs, I'm pretty good at footnoting those, but occasionally I read a one that I think, heck, I'm not even going to try to write it better.

Here is one on retail shopping for your reading pleasure:


And here is one that I only can wish I could write:


Well, wish me luck on the job interviews.  It is full time with a good company though I'm not sure how I'm going to make ends meet.  Housing in Colorado is so damn expensive.  I've compared rent here in FC to other cities, 100-150k population, college, etc and it is about 250 bucks or more for a one bedroom apartment here than Kalamazoo, East Lansing, Evansville, Campaign, Columbus, College Station, Waco, and a couple of others.  But it's work, it's a good job, who cares I'll be making what I did 28 years ago for the same job.

Just need to ace that last interview.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014


Here is what has always bothered me about some branches of science.  Picture your self on a Tilt A Whirl.  Your car is rotating around, while the track you are on is revolving around.  Can you accurately measure the distance you need to run when you get off to reach the bathroom and throw up?

Of course not.

Yet we see people coming up with all sorts of measurements of space as we spin around in our daily rotation, as the planet revolves around the sun, as the solar system revolves around the center of the galaxy, as the galaxy travels through space.  And from that perspective we measure another spinning galaxy.  Don't freak out on me, this is going somewhere.

There are approximately 200 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy. The Milky Way  is a spiral galaxy, with a bulging center and arms that start in the center and form a flat pinwheel shape. The galaxy is estimated to be 100,000 light-years across. The Sun is located about two-thirds of the way out from the center of the galaxy or about 28,000 light-years away.

Okay, what this means is we are about 78,000 light years from the other edge of the galaxy, which means when we look up at night, if we could see with our naked eye the farthest star in the milky way, we'd be seeing the light from 78,000 years ago, according to scientists.  We see, what isn't there.  What is there, we don't see.  Even if you use Hubble, you are still seeing something that is no longer there, it's just a bigger and clearer illusion.

I always look at the stars when I walk the dog at night.  I look at the stars during the day too, but you can't see them from the sun, BUT they are still there.  I saw the moon tonite, with Jupiter not too far away.  I look for Orion's Belt and I can see Rigel off to the right below the belt while Betelgeuse is off to the left on the shoulder of that imaginary constellation.

Except, none of it is really there, at least as we see it.  Betelgeuse is shrinking and going to go supernova, but since it's 530 some light years from earth, it may have already happened.

So what we see, isn't really what is there.  Think of it this way.  The Andromeda galaxy, is close to the size of the Milky Way. This Local Group is part of a supercluster, known as the Virgo supercluster, which has at least 5,000 member galaxies and is roughly 100 million light-years across.

Now I've place three circles in the picture, one at the front edge, one in the middle, and a black circle with a yellow center on the far edge.  What we see in this picture is 100 million light years across, length wise, so let us guess that it is 50 million from the orange circle to the black circle.  And let's say this is 1 million light years from Earth.  And I know this photo is tilted which changes the numbers somewhat but for the sake of the discussion, forget about the tilt variation.

So, you think that what you see is a picture of something as it was a million years ago, but in reality only the orange circle is a picture from one million years ago, the center would be actually 26 million years ago and the black circle 51 million years ago.

So how can they tell how fast a spiral galaxy is spinning?  How can you tell that the stars on the outer edge are spinning around the center at the same rate, (not speed) when the stars you are seeing at the center are 25 million years earlier, or later, depending on what edge you compare it to?  And, how do you calculate the 'expanding' universe into the equation?

I don't know either.  All I know when I look at the sky is what I see, isn't really there, or each star I can see is how it looked yesterday, it's light shining on me for one brief moment as it continues it's journey across the universe.  And what happens to light when it reaches the end of the universe?  Does it end or bounce back?

The point is, all the math is an illusion; an explanation that sounds so reasonable or so intelligent, we just assume it is correct and no one ever stops to think about the distances because it is so far beyond our imagination to comprehend 100 million light years.

But what if all this is wrong?

The idea that time itself could cease to be in billions of years - and everything will grind to a halt - has been proposed by Professor José Senovilla, Marc Mars and Raül Vera of the University of the Basque Country, Bilbao, and University of Salamanca, Spain. The corollary to this radical end to time itself is an alternative explanation for "dark energy" - the mysterious antigravitational force that has been suggested to explain a cosmic phenomenon that has baffled scientists.

However, to this day no one actually knows what dark energy is, or where it comes from. Professor Senovilla, and colleagues have proposed a mind-bending alternative. They propose that there is no such thing as dark energy at all, and we’re looking at things backwards. Senovilla proposes that we have been fooled into thinking the expansion of the universe is accelerating, when in reality, time itself is slowing down. At an everyday level, the change would not be perceptible. However, it would be obvious from cosmic scale measurements tracking the course of the universe over billions of years. The change would be infinitesimally slow from a human perspective, but in terms of the vast perspective of cosmology, the study of ancient light from suns that shone billions of years ago, it could easily be measured

The team's proposal, published in the journal Physical Review D, dismisses dark energy as fiction. Instead, Senovilla says, the appearance of acceleration is caused by time itself gradually slowing down, like a clock with a run-down battery.

“We do not say that the expansion of the universe itself is an illusion," he explains. "What we say it may be an illusion is the acceleration of this expansion - that is, the possibility that the expansion is, and has been, increasing its rate."


Wrap your mind around that one, stoners.  Time could be slowing down and will one day stop.  Couple that with the growing evidence and acceptance that light is not a constant and in fact is slowing down and where does that leave us?

And I was walking down the street one day
Being pushed and shoved by people trying to beat the clock,
oh no, I just don't know,
I just don't know
And I said, yes I said

People runnin' everywhere
Don't know the way to go
Don't know where I am
Can't see past the next step
Don't have to think past the last mile
Have no time to look around
Just run around, run around and think why
Does anybody really know what time it is
I don't
Does anybody really care
If so I can't imagine why
about time
We've all got time enough to die
Oh no, no

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


(sorry, I forgot the clever title when I posted it)

Thank you, #3.  Do I sound like Ersnt Blofeld of SPECTRE?

Anyways, your comment to the previous post set my mind a blazing:

The other night in a small group the fact that things will happen according to His plan, not ours came up and we spent a lot of time on that fact and that we should not despair overly about the times we live in. At 56 I've been under/unemployed for four years, I can relate to the despair but God's word is sovereign and we should not be decieved by those who say what their itching ears want to hear. I suggest 2Timothy.

So I reread 2nd Timothy, because who can proclaim they have read any book of the Bible enough, but I'm not sure specifically what you are pointing out.  By the way, did you notice what your group said was almost similar to what Tolkien says in LOTR?  Gandolf to Frodo?

The question that has burned in my mind since summer, you mention, His Plan - not ours.  This goes all the way back to the I80 example I gave about life, how this illusion of self destiny we think we have, picking our restaurants, our hotels, where we get gas, is all an illusion of self control because once we get on I80 going west, we are going to go to the Pacific Ocean, whether we planned to or not.

So how do we know what to do in life?  If we can only go by God's plan, then how much energy do we spend thinking and doing things, unknowingly, against His plan, only to be shut down?

Since my dad passed and I am no longer the Caretaker, who am I and what am I suppose to do with my life?  Do I patiently sit and wait for God to answer my prayers or do I proactively drive myself to a new career?  But what if that is not the career God wants?  See the dilemma?  If what will happen is already known by God, then it will happen, whether I do this or that?

Many times in life, we jump on some road; a career, marriage, kids, and then one day we look and can't figure out how we got where we are, when did this happen?  Our dreams, long suppressed into our subconscious, replaced by mortgages, college expenses, car payments, and careers that never became what we thought they would.  We became part of the world and never saw it happening.

And what exactly does "of the world" mean?  I read a dream some woman had where she was being attacked and pulled at by demons and she kept calling out for our Lord and the demons kept chomping away on her and suddenly she was at the cross and this great light, and a voice said something like you say you believe, but you are of this world, you have left the path.

She woke later and realized she had started following the ways of the world too much, figuring she was saved, it was okay.  But what does that mean?  How can you function in the world and not be part of the world?  How many pastors in the pulpits are more CEO than preacher?  How many partitioners are more Catholic or Baptist than Christian?  How does that pastor do a 60 second sermon so everyone can get home to see a gawd damn football game?

Did I just take the Lord's name in vain?  Or did the Christian pastor with a 60 second sermon?  Discuss.

Cheap grace.  Who exactly is saved?  I suspect many who think they are, are not.

And when we don't get the 'feeling' of being close to God in our churches, we then turn to alternative means, which may be perfectly valid or may be entries to allow evil to overcome us, but we don't realize it.  I've heard many bad things about 'remote viewing' but what are the sources of saying it's evil?  Wasn't John, in Revelation, remote viewing?  Was Gabriel Daniels 'spirit guide'?  Was David Wilkerson's Vision given by God or by Satan?  When we don't think or feel we are getting the answers, is it really that surprizing we try alternative means to hear God?  Let's face it, Satan doesn't show up looking like Mephistopheles, we'd all know to run.

It's like last summer when I was seriously realizing, by smell and then the night of the dog on the bed, that my dad's ghost was here and I chased it away.  Now I regret that, what if he'd been trying to say something?  Or maybe it wasn't him, but evil trying to take advantage.  I will never know now cause I sure the heck am not going to use some stupid board to try to talk to him.

By the way, I think Wilkerson's Vision was legit.  Many of us are not looking for visions, a simple pat on the back and nudge in the right direction would suffice.

How much of our lives is wasted, unknowingly fighting against God's plan?  Wasted energy.  The one book other than the Bible I thought was a great spiritual guidebook was The Tao.  I just figure Tao means God.  Then much of life makes more sense.  Our concept of God the Father is sorely lacking; we can't conceive of Him in our brains, not who or what He really is.  So we struggle against His plan, we struggle against life.  And what drives us nuts is seeing people who you KNOW are not working on God's best interest, living large, always getting ahead.  I mean, how exactly is Charlie Sheen still alive?  I mean a Christian can't pay rent next month and Charlie Sheen pays for a mansion for his first wife, a mansion for his second wife, and lives in a mansion with some gal who is apparently a porn star.  I don't want the porn star, or the ex wives, or the mansions - just a little room to breath.  Not coveting, just wishing God were a little better at marketing.

And yet, back in my heart, I know God will come through.  It's never how we want it, it's never when we want it, but it always seems to come just when we need it; even if we didn't know we need it.

Anyways, thanks #3 for making my brain work overtime today.

"So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought." 

Sunday, January 12, 2014


Well, things are getting dicey of late, hoping to sell some more stuff in the next two weeks so I can pay bills in February.  I wonder if I can sell my iTunes account?  I think I have about 100 movies, 900 TV show episodes, and probably 3,000 songs; and most of that was purchased back in the good days: those days when I had a high paying job.  That is like nearly $6,000 in entertainment I could sell via the email and password.  Hmm.

I am really getting tired of the age discrimination going on in our society.  I've applied four times to AT&T for a sales job at one of their stores.   I have all the experience they are asking for and then some, but not so much as a call.  Now they are advertising again. But they are not the only ones and I really can't think of a solution to the problem of tens of millions of people in their 50's being shut out of the market: you can't find a job like you use to have, you can't get another job paying 1/2 of what you use to make and if you apply for 10 buck an hour jobs they don't want you because they think you are just going to work it until something better comes along because they haven't figured out yet that there is no better coming.

And that is one of the problems many have, they keep thinking this is a blip on the radar and soon things will go back to where they use to be and the truth is, there is no going back to the way it use to be.  Those times, those days, are gone.  They are not coming back.  The boom of the 80's and 90's are gone.  Those days of 70% of the adults being employed are gone.  The jobs are moved overseas, the illegal aliens have taken up all the lower level jobs, and the baby boomers are being forced out of the market by the younger generations.  There is no going back.

Which is why I spent the last few days watching my DVD's of WKRP, the first season, and Taxi - so far 1/2 thru the second season.  Simpler times.  Small companies, a group of people who are like family, uncomplicated though we didn't think so at the time.  Not a cell phone, pad, laptop, or desktop computer in sight.  No texting, no email.  Joke in one show was Jennifer making 24k a year, which is over 60k in today's world.

I am not just sitting around watching old shows on the tube, though, I am also sitting around reading and listening to Bible commentaries.  I love the wisdom books; Job, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.  I let others do prophecy, I will specialize in those books, that is if I ever get a job, can start back up at school, and finish that Masters in Theology.

Lot of 'ifs' in that plan.

I do a lot of thinking about things, but that in and of itself is not enough.  You also have to do.  We don't have enough people who think anymore; lots of people who just do what they are told.  But if you just think, and don't do, you are really just wasting your time.  On the other had, if you do and don't think, you end up wasting a lot of other peoples time who have to fix what you do.

But that is the problem today.  I think, but I'm not doing.  I can't get out of the gate and find a damn job.  Generalists are dead, we are not wanted.  Those that have cross functional skills are pushed aside by the single skill players.

Remember the past.  Life and job hunting were very similar to the way the Dallas Cowboys drafted players; take the best athletes and teach the skills.  Take a well rounded talented person and if they didn't have the skills, who cares, they can learn them.  I remember when I got a job in 1985 to support accounting software.  I didn't know jack about accounting software, I'd passed two college accounting courses with a C and a D.  But one year later, I was not only an expert, I was probably one of the best support people in the nation for Software Shop Software.  And was paid well, 30K.

When did we lose control of this nation?  When did businesses, especially big corporations, decide that a strong nation wasn't important to their bottom line?  When did they sell out the american people?

Do you realize that last fall it came out the Obama administration used the IRS to attack organizations unfriendly to the administration?  For us oldies, can you imagine if Nixon had been doing that?  But nada, no one hammers things home.  So now Christy is in trouble for intentionally and unnecessarily shutting down some lanes to get even with some mayor and it is a big stink but watch, it will go away for the next big story.

And maybe that is one of our problems.  Things move so fast today with technology, 24 hour news stations battling for ratings, that we just keep skimming the surfaces of life, never stopping and really looking at this or that, just moral outrage and then we move on and those committing those moral outrages keep getting away with it and know they will get away with it.

Think about it: would Woodward and Bernstein be given time today by the Washington Post to work on the Watergate story?  Would they have dedicated two reporters almost a year of time to dig up the story?  I mean, even if it were a republican?  Or would they be given a month, then move on to the next story?

I've talked in the past about the bell curve and how lonely it is getting out of the right tail of the curve.  We don't fit.  But we've never really looked real hard at the left tail of the bell curve, where the psychopaths and sociopaths live.  They are not just serial killers and mass murderers there, you know.  That is where the Barak Obama's, the Chris Christy's, the CEO's of Wells Goldman America, the brokers trading derivatives, and all the members of congress live.  They are just as sociopathic as the Ted Bundy Charlie Manson killers.  But they are in control.  They promise us the world but really don't give a damn about anyone but themselves and gaining more and more power.

Well, I have to do the dishes, shower and go to church this evening, hoping that God will hear my prayers and finally release me from this circle of hell I've made of my life.

I am weeping, always sleeping
Dreading when the light comes in
Dreaming of tomorrow and the happiness that it can bring

Contemplatin' and debating as the time just drifts away
You will find today can be tomorrow if you let tomorrow be today
Don't wait, don't hesitate
'Cause I want to tell ya
And I have to tell ya
Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do
The things it tells you to

Three Dog Night

Thursday, January 9, 2014


Women have always confused the crap out of me.  I remember one year in HS, must have been one of the first two years because I didn't order yearbooks either of the last two years, but one year some girl wrote in my yearbook "yours till Niagara Falls" and I thought 'wow, she really likes me'.

Then I thought, well, or it could mean since the Falls are falling, then it could mean I have not shot at all.  So, using my logical mind, I solved that problem by never getting another yearbook.

But this blog is not about my lousy love life, no, it's about weather, freezing, and how different society has changed in 100 years.  Niagara Falls froze this past week, a stopping of time as the water falling froze in place, as well as the river above and below:

It is probably an impressive sight to behold, the water frozen in place.  And you can see above how people still visited the Falls, staying behind the barricades and fences for their protection and safety.

And I am sure, somewhere out there in talking heads land, someone is screaming about this being an abomination of nature or something, never happened before, HARRP or chemtrails causing this polar vortex that was so bad, it froze Niagara Falls!

Now, in previous weather blogs, I pointed out cycles.  So has Niagara Falls ever frozen up?  You bet!

Here are pictures from the 1920's, the late 1890s, and the yellow one is either from the late 1890s or the 1910 era:

Here is what else fascinates me.  All these people are out on the ice, walking on the river, both above and below the falls.  If you tried that this past week, you'd be thrown in jail.  And remember, all these people you see went through a winter cold as bad or worse than this past week, without central heating.  They used coal and wood furnaces with steam if they were lucky to have the steam pipes.  They put pans with hot coals under their beds to keep warm at night.  Probably right next to the piss pots.

Kind of makes you feel like a wuzzie, doesn't it.

Long time ago, I downloaded the data for US weather dating back into the 1800's and did some really cool data analysis in JMP.  Unfortunately, I don't have JMP anymore, but I still have the data and am in the process of putting together some pretty graphs on certain cities to show the average temps in January each decade, etc.  Will post it probably in the next week or so.

When you go up on the mountain top
And you look out across the sea
And you know there's another place perhaps
A young man can be
And you jump down to the rooftop
And you look out across the town
And you know there's a lot of strange things
Circulatin' round

But it ain't easy,
It ain't easy, it ain't easy
To go ahead when your going' down

Three Dog Night

Tuesday, January 7, 2014


Oh my gosh, it's a polar vortex!!!!!

I think I might want to change the shows I listen to each day.  I'm not going to name the shows, because I'm about to make fun of the hosts, but in the past couple of days I heard a discussion about this supposed once in a life time HArRP generated polar vortex that is threatening to destroy America or something.

Could people look stuff up before they write or talk?

A polar vortex is a weather system that happens, oh, just about every winter at least once, sometimes multiple times.  Sometimes it is bigger and colder than others, sometimes it's west of this one, other times it doesn't go as far south as this one, but it happens every frickin' winter folks.  I use to watch WGN TV NEWS and would patiently wait each winter for Tom Skilling to first utter "polar vortex".  He actually did it one November.  How can anyone living in the northern part of the US not have heard of a polar vortex?  It's like meeting someone shocked and scared when this glowing ball of light rises in the east one morning.

Now, where to take these thoughts into an interesting discussion.

Weather cycles.  I know it's below zero in the midwest, but you know what?  I remember the winter of 93/94 a cold period in Chicago where temps didn't get above 10 below zero for several days.  I remember Xmas 1983 when I gave up trying to get my car to start until I was ready to head back to Texas from Chicago because it was so frackin' cold below zero my nuts are freezing for seven straight days.

We tend to remember, or believe, that normal weather was whatever the weather was 10 years ago, or some think it was what it was when they were kids growing up.  So I look at weather in the 60's and 70's and remember not so much extreme colds but lots of snow.  Then the 80's and 90's come around and you don't get the snow, which is when the global warming crusade started.  Now the last decade, snow is increasing again.

Did you ever read books from English writers in the 19th century?  Dickens?  Skating on the Thames?  I don't think anyone skated on the Thames in the 20th century.  But now they are getting atrocious weather across the pond with storms and snow that are freaking them out.

But people are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, claiming it's global warming that is somehow causing all of this.   Time has a story on it even though in 1974 they wrote a story how the polar vortex was caused by global cooling.  Time Magazine has trouble making up it's mind.

Herein lies the problem.  When you listen to a show that illuminates the host(s) total lack of knowledge and research on a topic, you then will need to question everything you are hearing on that show, because as far as you know now, they could be as dumb on this or that as they are on weather.  So what do you believe?

Here are some of the rumors going around the internet talking heads and web sites of late:
1.  Fukushima and radiation
2.  Obama's attempt to use nukes to create EMP when the sun did it's solar flip to wipe out power in the US
3.  Military being decimated by Obama firing generals and admirals in lead up to civil war
4.  Civil war
5.  Aliens from other planets will be confirmed

Now, is any of this legit?  I know the Fuku stuff is serious, but what about Obama and the nukes?  The one thing that makes me think there might be something strange here was Lindsey Graham stuttering some comment about Charleston being nuked on the day all this crap was suppose to be happening and that little tirade by him kind of fits that something strange was happening.  Secondly, the earthquake off the coast of SC later that day and the Russians saying, "Hey, that was no earthquake, that was a nuke!"

Then, a few days later, two generals and an admiral are force to resign for really silly reasons.  They were in charge of the nukes.  So something happened.  What?  We don't really know.

But what is true and what is conspiracy?  Are we really headed to something that is so life changing our minds can't really wrap around it or is the yarn in our brains diorama just getting tangled?  Are we connecting dots incorrectly?

Why would the government buy 2 billion rounds of hollow point ammo?  Why are so many high ranking military men and women being shown the door?

Now the scuttlebutt is "would you support a military coupe against this president?"

Boy, that is a tough question.  Depends if they are planning to stay in power or just clean out DC.  Then again, where do the military get their funds but from corporate industrial giants so I'm not sure that will be much of an improvement.  Man's gotta know who's buttering the bread.  Okay, now say it again like Clint Eastwood "Man's gotta know who's buttering the bread."  Cool, huh.

I make no money from asking these questions or doing the research.  In fact, I may be the only blogger left not making money.  Even Lame Cherry sold out to the paypal button and ads.  So this is just me.   The problem is too many people ARE making their livings selling gold, silver, food supplies, prepper gear, and all sorts of things and you have to wonder what is real and what is spreading fear to make a buck.  Are the prepper speakers and writers any different than the professors who have pushed the global warming scenario for baskets of money?

Is there any voice that is not bought?  I often wonder if some of my troubles finding a job are caused by this blog.  Yes, I post under a pseudo name, but if you click the book link you see my real name and it matches to the resume.  But keeping quiet for a buck and speaking for a buck are really the same thing; the latter you are a bought whore and the former a coward.

This thing is so screwed up now.  Someone today told me I was paranoid for worrying about how many people are contacts or friends on social networking and what could happen if someone you sign up as a friend, that you don't know, and the person ends up a child porn/slave labor/meth dealer situation and law enforcement will look at all their contacts/friends and investigate YOU next.

It's like watching this great show, trying to piece together clues, but all the time in the back of your head a voice keeps saying "this isn't a show, this is real, and it won't matter if you figure it out or are totally oblivious, you will pay".

And therein lies the dilemma.  It doesn't matter if you are on top of all of this, confused by all of this, or oblivious to all of this; the results, in the end, will be the same.

Man, I hope the pre tribbers are right.

Living on a razor's edge
Sharper than a knife
Surrender to the power of wedge
Keep running for your life
You don't need no periscope
You won't need second sight
It'll come at you so fast my friend
It's thank you and goodnight

Caught in the river
You can't stop the flood
That's the power of money, paper blood

Ambition flies on silver wings
Searching for a crown
King of kings, they pull the strings
Until they run you down
No matter what you've undergone
The measure of success
Is how much you can charge it on
American express

You don't need to drive a car
And you don't need a house
And you don't need a guiding star
When living like a mouse
In the presidenttial suite
They'd rather see you burn
Ducking and diving just to make ends meet
To the point of no return


Saturday, January 4, 2014


Not really planning on talking about the weather, I just love that term 'polar vortex'.  I thought I would love to name my kid Polar Vortex, but when I mentioned it one time to a gal I was dating, she didn't like it; in fact, I think she dumped me not long afterwards.  Probably married someone else and named their kid Bradley or Contruse or some other name they thought was cool.  I'm sorry, nothing would be cooler than having a son name Polar Vortex and a daughter named Autumnal Equinox.

But I would never name a bar Polar Vortex, I'd be afraid it would become a gay bar.

But today I wish to talk about something I realized recently I have never talked much about; my mom.  I think she got two or three blogs in the old blog, now book which I will announce today I did sell my 25th copy in December, hold the applause, then it was returned, so I did not make the goal of 25 sales for the year.  Who the hell buys then returns a Kindle book when it has the option of that peak inside thing where you can read about 100 pages?  WTF?

And to think, in July, I was hoping for 25,000 sales.

But I realized I have neglected to tell the other half of the story, so since it is snowing outside, lunch is digesting, and I don't feel like reading, I will tell the story now.

My dad gave me many great life lessons, on being humble, praying, reading the Bible, and getting a job done.  From my mom, I learned strength, toughness, and suffering in silence.

Okay, maybe not the last one.

My mom grew up in Morgantown WV, one of 5 children.  She never went to college but as many HS grads back then, probably knew more than most college grads today.  And until she was in her late 80's, she could still recite about two dozen old poems she'd had to memorize.  It always bothered her she didn't go to college, her brothers got to go, even the one with the heart condition who would die in his early 20's.  So it always bothered her that they got to go and she worked as a legal secretary to help make expenses for the family.

But she was the athlete of my parents, by far.  Where as my dad couldn't throw a ball 5 feet, my mom played catch with me even when I was in high school.  Okay, she had problems catching a slider or knuckleball, which I guess I should probably confess as  a sin when I think about it.  Plus, she did crossword puzzles all the time, but not while we played catch.

But her body began to betray her around 1998.  She got the first couple of what would be a complete run of the table on compression fractures in her spine.  Horrible Osteoporosis.  From 1998 to 2008, that woman was always in pain and nothing could help.  In 2002, she was in the hospital with more compression fractures and when she got out she was home in a bed we'd setup in the family room for about three days when they found an intestinal blockage and it was back to the hospital and by the time they'd dicked around the intestines ruptured, she blew up to about 3 times her size and she went into surgery which they warned us was probably going to kill her.

And now we come to another thing I shared with her, some sort of spiritual sense of things.  We both claim it came from our Indian side, my great great great granddad married an Indian woman.  Anyways, during the surgery, I knew she was okay, hadn't died, so when they came to get the family and bring us into the room, others were nervous, crying and I was okay cause I knew she was okay.

But then, okay is a relative term.  From the hospital she went to a nursing home for rehab, otherwise known as soak Medicare for 100 days then kick them out.  Because she came out in worse shape than she went in.  So for the next six months, I hardly ever worked while my dad and I cared for her at home.  She needed to be lifted out of bed to be placed on a portable toilet we's tied next to the bed.

And for the next six years of her life, that was pretty much her life.  Now, there were times that a physical therapist would come in for a couple of months, we'd get her strength up to a point were she could start walking with a walker, then she kind of swung from furniture to furniture.  Her goal was alway to get back up to her bedroom, she loved her bedroom.  We had to put a gate at the top of the stairs to make sure when she was up there she couldn't accidentally take a dive down the steps, but I would gather over those six years, on and off, there were probably two years where she was upstairs and 4 years in the family room.

She did have some mental problems, nothing near what my dad would later go through, but the poems would not be recalled and the crosswords would go unsolved which was a clue.  But physically, she was always in tremendous pain and had no control of the evacuation parts, if you know what I mean.

And no, I'm not going to tell the Hatari story again, you have to read the book.

But my admiration for her grew over those years.  I know it embarrassed her mightily to have her son caring for her, cleaning her, showering her, etc.  And I know she was often in terrible pain, but she always maintained such a ornery attitude to continue on.  And many a time, she would look at me when I was done taking care of her, making her dinner, and those type of things and she'd say "someday, I'll do something nice for you"; and we'd smile at each other, knowing that day would never come, yet there is a lifetime of memories she gave me growing up that more than cover the debt.

I'm not sure what brought all this up last night.  I'm putting some more stuff on sale, hoping to sell some things to stay afloat another month, and I know she never wanted to see a lifetime of collections of things that meant so much to her just be sold off.  I put the cedar chest up for sale; my granddad made that chest and it still has that deep smell of cedar nearly one hundred years later.  I hate doing it, I priced it pretty high almost hoping it won't sell, but then it won't fit in the car, so what do I do with it?

People spend a lifetime collecting 'stuff' and when they die, what becomes of it?  What was really important becomes a cheap commodity on the want ads.  Books they held for 60 years are worthless.  It really affects a brain's thinking, why spend lots of money on stuff when it is worthless afterwards.  Maybe it would have been wiser for her to give all that stuff away while she was alive to family and friends.

She had a green afghan that she always used in the living room to cover herself up with, I remember that thing from when I was a child.  I gave it to our neighbor before with left Palos, the gal next door was like a daughter to her so I thought she would like it.  Who knows, the moment meant something to her, but did the afghan?

I still have a couple of quilts my mom made, and that is where I draw the line.  I don't care where the road leads, those quilts stay with me even if I end up on a park bench.  She made those quilts with her own hands, it's all I have left of her, well except her ashes.

What an odd homeless man I will make.  Living in a car with a dog, three quilts, ashes, a small library in the trunk, and a lever action rifle.

Somehow, I don't think this is what my parents envisioned for my future.  Neither did I, but at least I know I will survive, I will endure, and for that I can thank my mom.

My mom, my dead dog Barkley, and one of the quilts.

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb
Mother do you think they'll like the song
Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls
Ooooh aah, Mother should I build a wall

Mother should I run for president
Mother should I trust the government
Mother will they put me in the firing line
Ooooh aah, is it just a waste of time

Hush now baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your
Nightmares come true
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama's gonna keep you right here
Under her wing, she won't let you fly but she might let you sing
Mama will keep baby cosy and warm
Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe
Of course Mama's gonna help build the wall

Pink Floyd

Thursday, January 2, 2014


Had a nice moment this morning.

Saw Chicago got it's biggest snow storm in 15 years, and I immediately knew that storm.  It also came on New Years Eve and Day.

In 1999, I took my dad out to get a snowblower.  He wanted a John Deere; I forget what he had, but it was a pain in the butt blower; had to be serviced every year, often didn't start and for small amounts of snow I could shovel things in the time it took to get the damn thing started.

So he wanted a John Deere and we went shopping on NYE.  The Deere store was closed.  The store that carried Deere was out of the sizes we needed and the only option was a tractor.  So we spent about 3 hours driving around, trying to find a Deere and didn't buy anything.

Woke up the next morning with over 20 inches of HEAVY snow in the driveway.  Took me about 5 hours with two breaks to clear out that driveway with a shovel.

Punch line?  He went out the next week when I was working and bought a Honda snow blower, the same one we saw at about 15 stores on NYE and he didn't want.

So, dear taxpayers, how ya feeling today?  Did you read the news?  Did you pay your dues, this morning when the paper landed in your yard?

Let's go back to the economic genius that is Obama.  If you owned stock or bonds in Chrysler back in 2009, you got hosed.  Nada, crap.  But the new company formed over the weekend with billions in tax payer dollars.  Fiat, the Italian company formerly known as "fix it again, Tony" became the new owner with 20% of the company for nothing down, bought itself up to 58% from the US government for 2.2 billion and the union got the other 41% in stock.

Now, Fiat is buying the 41% of the stock from the union for 4.4 billion plus an additional  payoff, I mean contribution, to their pension fund of 700 million.  US taxpayers put up 12 billion in the deal and we got, um, well, um, Jeeps made in China.

So, to recap, Fiat bought a US car company for nothing down, and 6.6 billion for full control financed by US taxpayers who spent 12 billion for a 2.2 billion return, a 9.8 billion dollar loss, and the union for going along with the whole thing gets 5 billion dollars, which I am sure will be spent on all the autoworkers who are about to lose their plants to China.

Which, by the way, is exactly what Romney said in the 2012 election campaign was going to happen.  Union thugs get big payoff for going along with the deal and in another 20 years, most Chrysler cars will be made in China.  Chrysler, owned by the wops, made by the chinks, financed by the saps.

Okay, I'm done now.

Oh, I see her face everywhere I go
On the street and even at the picture show
Have you seen her
Tell me have you seen her

Oh, I hear her voice as the cold winds blow
In the sweet music on my radio
Have you seen her
Tell me have you seen her

Why, oh, why
Did she have to leave and go away?
Oh... oh... oh... oh... oh...
I've been used to havin' someone to lean on
And I'm lost, baby, I'm lost


Well, was sitting around trying to come up with something new to talk about in 2014; I've been wanting to write a "solve the nation's economy' blog for awhile, another theo blog but using LOTR since people who won't listen to "God talk" just soak up LOTR.

Then I read an article linked from Steve Quayle's web site that just made my blood boil.

Corrections Corporation of America.  Profits up 500% in the last 20 years.  What do they do?  They subcontract with states, counties, or cities to run their prisons.  What should make your blood boil too is the contract calls for 90% occupancy.

Justice, subcontracted, for 90% occupancy.

Just last year, one judge in PA was sentenced to 30 years in prison for cash for kids with a private prison contractor.  The judge was sending kids to prison for several years for very simple little things that use to get us paddled and grounded in the 1970's.  And one kid died in the prison, which can happen when you put a 17 year old in prison with 30 year old killers, rapists, and such.

But then I thought, why stop there.  If we are going to contract out our prison system to a private corporation, why not the judges, prosecutors, and public defenders too?  Think of the money we could save as a county and state if we didn't have to pay all those big lawyer salaries.  And having the lawyers, judges, and prison system all being run by the same corporation will certainly streamline the processes.  Hey, brain working overtime, what about the cops too!  That would really streamline the process.  Have the cops, judges, lawyers, and prisons call get their paychecks and retirement plans from the same corporation.  You could be pulled over this morning and in prison orange before the close of the NY Stock Exchange!

Life, liberty, and 90% occupancy of prisons.  I see a conflict between liberty and 90% occupancy.

Profit is not always the best motivator for every occupation.  Do you really want cops, judges, and prisons being run by ROI, Net Profits, and Occupancy rates?

Look how news agencies today are run by the corporate boards.  Look how MSNBC and NBC news were hand tied in the 1990's by the GE board; GE aiming for huge billion dollar government contracts were not going to let the news department ruin those deals, so NBC was the friendliest Clinton news channel of them all.  What is truth when you have a 20 billion dollar electric transformer deal with Amtrak riding?

And what is truth and justice when you have a prison system run by a corporation with police, judges, and prosecutors as stock holders?  How do you feel, rich american, making capital gains and dividends on a company that exploits minority and poor americans by sentencing them, denying them parole, and cutting their food/diet to cut costs?  And what happens if the occupancy rates drop below 90%?  The state or county pays a fine.

So think about your county, with a for profit county jail, and you get busted for one joint.  You think you are going to get some minor charge, no jail, pay a fine, but they need to get the prison occupancy back up over 90% because it's costing the state thousands of dollars a day, so you get six months.  Corporate justice.

Let that sink in: the more people put in prison and kept in prison, the more money the corporation makes, the less it costs the state, and the more money stockholders make.  And your judge, prosecutor, and public defender might all be stockholders.

According to The Sentencing Project, when CCA was founded in 1983, there were about 400,000 people in prison in America for various crimes. By 2012, that number had risen to more than 1.5 million people. In 1985, states were spending $6.7 billion on housing inmates. By 2010, states were paying $53.3 billion.

In 1980, there were 41,000 drug offenders in state and federal prisons and jails. In 2011, there were 499,000 drug offenders behind bars. In 1986, people were spending about 22 months in prison on drug charges, but by 2004, that number had grown to an average of 62 months behind bars.


Does this bother you at all?  Does it bother you we have a justice system that instead of "To Serve and Protect" it now reads "To Maximize Corporate Profits" on the sides of police cars?  Do the cops understand what they are part of?

Think about this: if you are a prisoner in one of these corporate prisons, what makes you any different than a slave on a plantation?  And if you work for or own stock in these companies, what makes you any different than a plantation owner?  And why aren't the typical race baiting Jacksons/Sharptons, screaming from the rooftops over this issue?  Why isn't the media screaming about this?

But then, those are rhetorical questions, aren't they.

 People movin' out
People movin' in
Why, because of the color of their skin
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide
An eye for an eye
A tooth for a tooth
Vote for me, and I'll set you free
Rap on brother, rap on
Well, the only person talking
'Bout love thy brother is the preacher
And it seems,
Nobody is interested in learning
But the teacher
Segregation, determination, demonstration,
Integration, aggravation,
Humiliation, obligation to our nation
Ball of confusion
That's what the world is today

The sale of pills are at an all time high
Young folks walk around with
Their heads in the sky
Cities aflame in the summer time
And, the beat goes on

Air pollution, revolution, gun control,
Sound of soul
Shooting rockets to the moon
Kids growing up too soon
Politicians say more taxes will
Solve everything
And the band played on
So round and round and round we go
Where the world's headed, nobody knows
Just a ball of confusion
Oh yea, that's what the wold is today

Fear in the air, tension everywhere
Unemployment rising fast,
The Beatles' new record's a gas
And the only safe place to live is
On an indian reservation
And the band played on
Eve of destruction, tax deduction
City inspectors, bill collectors
Mod clothes in demand,
Population out of hand
Suicide, too many bills, hippies moving
To the hills People all over the world, are shouting
End the war
And the band played on. 

The Temptations
(man, I love old motown music!)