This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Monday, December 30, 2013


Been thinking a bit with this outbreak of flu and all the people who scream from the rooftops to not get a flu shot.  So what happens when Joe Schmo listens to Alex and others, doesn't get the flu shot, and dies from the flu, can his family sue Alex Jones and others for the death of their kid?

I did get a tet shot this fall after stabbing myself through the finger with a knife.  That is the first vaccine I have had since I was 18.  But I don't get the flu shots and until this fall, only got the flu or sick about once every 5 or 6 years.

Also read an article about the number of vaccines kids get today.  They get more by their 18 month than we baby boomers got by our 18th birthday.  Why? I think it is a valid question to ask.  Exactly what is a 1 year old being protected against Hepatitis for?  I've never had a Hep vaccine in my life, never had Hep either.  Is it really healthy to be pumping all those drugs into young kids?  I mean, think about it, people have a conniption if they see a pregnant woman drink a glass of wine or have a smoke but then scoff at giving a newborn baby 24 vaccines by it's second birthday.  I think I'd rather have a mom that drank a glass a wine once or twice a week and smoked half a pack a day, which, come to think of it, is what my mom did and I turned out, oh, never mind.

Been feeling rather strange of late, I don't know if it is going off the patches or what, but for the past couple of days I've been having wifi headaches.  Really bad.  Yet if I go out for a drive, the headaches will go away and then when I get back home, they start up again.  I've made sure neither iMac or the iPhone has wifi on, which brings me to the mystery apartment above.

Last spring a gal moved in, she worked for the Air Force.  Lived upstairs for about 6 months and then moved out, she was moving closer to Cheyenne where she works.  Then about once a month, I would see her car in the parking lot and occasionally I would hear someone upstairs.  I mentioned something to the office one day about them putting something on her door, I thought she moved, and they said it was routine.  Well, she was back on Saturday and ever since I've been getting the wifi headaches.

In a world like we have today, can I get paranoid?

When I walked the dog this evening, I don't know if it was the lights or what, but the whole complex looked, faked.  Like that old Twilight Zone episode where the trees and stuff were just part of a made up scene of some sort.  I think I better watch that kind of stuff, it's not normal.

They don't still give electric shock treatments, do they?  Or perform lobectomies?  I remember some wise ass after seeing Cuckoo's Nest commenting that it wasn't a lobotomy, that just cuts the lines, but a lobectomy is when they actually remove part of the brain, because the 'ectomy' is latin for removal, and I would have said, 'thanks Cliff' if Cheers had been around.  Come to think of it, I might have tried the knockout game if it had been around.  That is the trouble with linear time, so often we don't learn what we could really use until it's too late to use it.  I am now an expert on taking care of parents in their old age but I have no parents left.

Now I have another reader named Anonymous which is freaking me out because I know your parents didn't name all of you Anonymous.  Is it one person playing with my head, a group of uberguberment contractors, the girl upstairs who moved but keeps coming back monthly to change the tapes, Google running some psych op, or just my imagination?

Life cannot be our imagination, why would we imagine poverty, loss of loved one, jobs, cars not starting, etc.  We imagine successful books selling, living happily ever after with  that special member of the opposite sex, unless you are from San Francisco, and stuff like that.  So who's imagination is life?  Is it all God breathed and He included Satan, pain and suffering because every protagonist has to have an antagonist?  Take away Injun Joe and Tom Sawyer is a boring book.  Or a murder mystery with no murder?

Speaking of which, Darwin Awards came out and the winner was the guy robbing a store, pulled the trigger on the gun and it didn't fire, so he looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger again.

My favorite though was the guy who stole a woman's purse outside a mall.  The cops picked him up about 10 minutes later and drove him back to the mall.  When the cop took him out of the car, he told the guy to wait there, they needed to make a positive ID and the guy said "Yes officer, that's the woman who's purse I stole".

Tell me the cops aren't still laughing about that one.

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade
You make the change
You rearrange me 'till I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
And there's someone in my head, but it's not me
And if the cloud bursts thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

Pink Floyd