This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Monday, December 30, 2013


Been thinking a bit with this outbreak of flu and all the people who scream from the rooftops to not get a flu shot.  So what happens when Joe Schmo listens to Alex and others, doesn't get the flu shot, and dies from the flu, can his family sue Alex Jones and others for the death of their kid?

I did get a tet shot this fall after stabbing myself through the finger with a knife.  That is the first vaccine I have had since I was 18.  But I don't get the flu shots and until this fall, only got the flu or sick about once every 5 or 6 years.

Also read an article about the number of vaccines kids get today.  They get more by their 18 month than we baby boomers got by our 18th birthday.  Why? I think it is a valid question to ask.  Exactly what is a 1 year old being protected against Hepatitis for?  I've never had a Hep vaccine in my life, never had Hep either.  Is it really healthy to be pumping all those drugs into young kids?  I mean, think about it, people have a conniption if they see a pregnant woman drink a glass of wine or have a smoke but then scoff at giving a newborn baby 24 vaccines by it's second birthday.  I think I'd rather have a mom that drank a glass a wine once or twice a week and smoked half a pack a day, which, come to think of it, is what my mom did and I turned out, oh, never mind.

Been feeling rather strange of late, I don't know if it is going off the patches or what, but for the past couple of days I've been having wifi headaches.  Really bad.  Yet if I go out for a drive, the headaches will go away and then when I get back home, they start up again.  I've made sure neither iMac or the iPhone has wifi on, which brings me to the mystery apartment above.

Last spring a gal moved in, she worked for the Air Force.  Lived upstairs for about 6 months and then moved out, she was moving closer to Cheyenne where she works.  Then about once a month, I would see her car in the parking lot and occasionally I would hear someone upstairs.  I mentioned something to the office one day about them putting something on her door, I thought she moved, and they said it was routine.  Well, she was back on Saturday and ever since I've been getting the wifi headaches.

In a world like we have today, can I get paranoid?

When I walked the dog this evening, I don't know if it was the lights or what, but the whole complex looked, faked.  Like that old Twilight Zone episode where the trees and stuff were just part of a made up scene of some sort.  I think I better watch that kind of stuff, it's not normal.

They don't still give electric shock treatments, do they?  Or perform lobectomies?  I remember some wise ass after seeing Cuckoo's Nest commenting that it wasn't a lobotomy, that just cuts the lines, but a lobectomy is when they actually remove part of the brain, because the 'ectomy' is latin for removal, and I would have said, 'thanks Cliff' if Cheers had been around.  Come to think of it, I might have tried the knockout game if it had been around.  That is the trouble with linear time, so often we don't learn what we could really use until it's too late to use it.  I am now an expert on taking care of parents in their old age but I have no parents left.

Now I have another reader named Anonymous which is freaking me out because I know your parents didn't name all of you Anonymous.  Is it one person playing with my head, a group of uberguberment contractors, the girl upstairs who moved but keeps coming back monthly to change the tapes, Google running some psych op, or just my imagination?

Life cannot be our imagination, why would we imagine poverty, loss of loved one, jobs, cars not starting, etc.  We imagine successful books selling, living happily ever after with  that special member of the opposite sex, unless you are from San Francisco, and stuff like that.  So who's imagination is life?  Is it all God breathed and He included Satan, pain and suffering because every protagonist has to have an antagonist?  Take away Injun Joe and Tom Sawyer is a boring book.  Or a murder mystery with no murder?

Speaking of which, Darwin Awards came out and the winner was the guy robbing a store, pulled the trigger on the gun and it didn't fire, so he looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger again.

My favorite though was the guy who stole a woman's purse outside a mall.  The cops picked him up about 10 minutes later and drove him back to the mall.  When the cop took him out of the car, he told the guy to wait there, they needed to make a positive ID and the guy said "Yes officer, that's the woman who's purse I stole".

Tell me the cops aren't still laughing about that one.

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade
You make the change
You rearrange me 'till I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
And there's someone in my head, but it's not me
And if the cloud bursts thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

Pink Floyd

Sunday, December 29, 2013


Wow, some comments!  I thought I was down to imaginary readers only once again.  However, maybe Google is using my blog as part of the sample to test computer generated comments as a new feature of blogs, you can automatically generate computer comments and no one will know!  No thanks, because the next step will be computer generated blogs which means even our non paying jobs have been outsourced.

Been doing a lot of wasted time thinking of late about the past year.  No doubt in my mind, 2013 was the worst year of my life.  I've struggled and struggled to try to find something positive for the year, and the only thing I can think of is my dog didn't die and my car didn't suffer a major breakdown.  How sad, the best thing you can come up with for a year of life is your car didn't breakdown and my dog didn't die.  Then I read Doug Hagmann lost his dog of 13 years which just goes to show you, when you remove all the noise of life, it all comes down to a boy and his dog.  A boy and his dog: everything else is noise.

Now I find out that meteor is going to miss the Earth in a couple of months, so 2014 is getting off to a bad start too.

I've had bad years before, but the funny thing is mostly they were half years; half of 1981 and half of 1982 or half of 2009 and half of 2010, that type of thing.  I can't think of a year, from calendar beginning to calendar end that sucked so bad as this year did.  But I refuse to tempt fate and say 2014 can't be, well, you know what, because it's just asking fate to reply, "oh, yea, watch this!".

The year started with my dad, well on his way to the final resting place of a totally emptied brain, leading to my breakdown in March, followed by his death in June.  I seriously wish I'd just sold off everything in July and took off in the car in August with just what fit in the car. Oh, well,  C'est La Vie.  I'm now four days off of nic patches and my pulse rate has dropped from the 90's to the low 60's.  Somehow, that can't be a good stat.  Low 60's is good, 90's was not, but a sudden drop off of 1/3?  This should be interesting.

Anywho, then came the dream of being an author; writing that book, getting on some radio shows and selling less than 25 books.  Reminds me of walking up to a table full of girls from 2nd Ackley (dorm) at the Light Factory and asking one of the girls to dance and they all laughed.  Funny the things you never forget.  Fortunately, I'd been laughed at many a time by many a woman better looking than most of them so it didn't break my will at setting the goal at being rejected by more woman than any other guy in the world, which I set in 1991.  That was a good year.

And you know the funny part, that was the only time I was ever in the Light Factory because I refused to own or wear designer jeans or those stupid 1977 Leisure suits.

When I think about it, there really are only two things I ever wanted to do in life for a career: baseball player and author.  I had to give up my dream of being a ballplayer about 5 years ago when I realized even if I could master a knuckleball, I'd still be too old to play.  Plus I don't fly and I'm pretty sure that would present a problem for such a career choice.  So now my one other dream, crushed.  Black hole.  Nothing.

But actually, while I hated dorm living, those first couple of college years were not the worst years.  1981/82 was a bad time.  Got jilted.  You know the story, graduate college, want to marry the girl, get a job, settle down for 50 years and spend your old age at WalMart  together but she apparently doesn't like shopping at Wal Mart and dumps your ass right after graduation and relishes her role as the one that got away and filed the restraining order to make sure you couldn't follow, or something like that.  Then I had the bad years working for EDJ and after busting my butt for a year and half knocking on doors and making calls they tell me they will give me a choice, quit or fire me and like an idiot I quit.

Then the year where I couldn't sell the house, dad's alzheimer's was kicking in, and I thought for sure we were going to lose the house and it sold the month before I would miss the mortgage.  That was a full year, but was 1/2 and 1/2.  The second half of 2010 was fine.  Dad was easy to manage, we moved to CO, I had no debt, and had hope.

Actually, there are other bad years but why pile on.  See, this is why I hate looking back.  Now I am really getting depressed.  Forget yesterday, don't look more than a month or two into the future.  Be here now.  Keeps a guy from realizing how sad, useless, and hopeless his life has been.  Nothing to show.  Another Supertramp song.  See, everything you ever want to know about life can be found either in the Bible or in a Supertramp song.

But this year beats them all.  The first half taking care of my dad the last 6 months of his life and spending the next six months watching my dream of being an author die, while finding out the world finds me obsolete.  I've only got to make it two more days, the car only has to make it two more days, the dog- two more days and we will be in 2014.  A new year bringing the false sense of a change of fate because of an arbitrary calendar or place in the universe.  But sometimes, that is the best you can hope for.

And even though the stars are listening
The ocean's deep, I just go to sleep
And then I create the silent movie
You become the star, is that what you are, dear?
Your whisper tells a secret
Your laughter brings me joy
And a wonder of feeling I'm Nature's own little boy
But still the tears keep falling
They're raining from the sky
Well there's a lot of me got to go under before I get high

Thursday, December 26, 2013


This is a black hole. It consumes matter, sucks it in and crushes it beyond existence. When I first heard that, I thought, that’s evil at its most pure. Something that drags you in, crushes you, makes you … nothing.

Alice Morgan in Luther

I wonder how many Americans are feeling like matter, caught on the perimeter, and slowly being sucked towards the black hole.  Hope and Change.

So we shall talk of other things!

Have done a lot of study of late on the Holy Ghost; the forgotten leg of the triune God.  Have you prayed to God the Father?  Have you prayed to Jesus?  Have you prayed to the Holy Ghost?  No?

David Wilkerson is my favorite preaching pastor.  Billy Graham spoke to an audience of unbelievers, so his sermons were different; John MacArthur is a good preacher but sometimes I get the feeling he loves to prove how smart he is.  Wilkerson though, here is a guy that cried during sermons.  Here is a guy that admitted he was a sinner.  And here is a guy, one of the few, that really explained who the Holy Ghost is and why it is important.

 “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is to unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call” (Acts 2:38–39).

Repent.  There is a term you don't hear much in churches anymore.  To need to repent means an acknowledgement of sin and that is just such a downer to point out to your church growth crowd that they are sinners.  But the gift of the Holy Spirit; God in us.  God on Earth.  The Father in Heaven, His Son at His side, and the Holy Spirit in believers on Earth.

I use to have this theory, nothing theological here or provable via Biblical text, but I use to say that we need to feed the Holy Spirit inside of us and He only eats The Word of God; so the more you read your Bible each day, the stronger the spirit becomes.  But, remember, I just made that up.  Does seem to work though, which can lead one to believe I might not be a total idiot.

But what is interesting is Paul seems to be saying in Acts that not all believers have the Spirit.

“He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost” (Acts 19:2)

So this is kind of strange, it's like a next level of things, beyond normal faith and sanctification, you also have this next level of the Spirit in you.

And this, like Christianity itself, should be thought about before saying, "Yea, I want that!"  For the one unforgivable sin, according to scripture, is to blasphemy the Holy Ghost.  Jesus even says you can make fun of Him and it's forgivable, but blasphemy the Holy Ghost and it's all over for you.

So how do you blasphemy the Holy Ghost - He didn't say.  I've read elsewhere it is when you attribute gifts from the Holy Ghost as coming from somewhere else or visa versa.

“And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh…. I will pour out in those days of my Spirit” (Acts 2:17–18). 

Wilkerson talks about this relationship in prayer, where you pray to the Holy Spirit, who talks to Jesus, who intercedes with the Father sort of system but I have not found that specifically laid out in Scripture.  But there is no question the Holy Spirit is God; ask the couple that tried to keep some pocket money when they sold all their stuff and lied about it.  And the Holy Spirit is not just a NT thing, you can find Him throughout the OT too.

“But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth” (Acts 1:8).

So when you say your prayers today, don't ignore the Holy Spirit.  He is who is here.

Monday, December 23, 2013


The other evening, I was perusing BeforeIt'sNews because I just think it is the funniest website on the net.  In spite of incorrectly predicting the end of life as we know it for the last 38 consecutive months, some of the stories remind me of a paranoid Fox Mulder version of the old Penthouse Advisor; the "I never thought this would happen to me" but instead of sex they get abducted by aliens or something.

Not that I ever read Penthouse Advisor.  Nor have I been abducted by aliens, at least not that I remember.  Crap, I hardly remember having sex, so maybe I was abducted by aliens while reading Penthouse Advisor.  I should quit typing out loud.

So with great humor I clicked on a link by some chick, I'm sorry, that is sexist; some bird, who posted a youtube thing about how she had a vision that this spring, in 2014, a giant meteor or astroid would hit the Earth, in the Atlantic Ocean, and wipe out a large part of the east coast of America, which as many of my long term readers know, is my solution to fixing this country.  So it was, well, actually, boring as crap but I listened to the whole thing and tried to make sense of the thousands of years timeline graph she had for the picture.  Jeesh, she is worse than the Japanese and their stupid A3's.

And while listening, I did a little more research on the bird and discovered an interesting fact.  She posted on March 9, 2011 another youtube video saying there would be a major earthquake of global proportions around Japan sometime between the 11th and 15th.

And, on the 11th, we got Fuku'd.


Well, I'm not one to put much faith in people predicting the future.  Jeanne Dixon predicted JFK and spent the rest of her life incorrectly predicting anything and everything all because she once hit the right note on the keyboard.

Then this morning, I read some Russian military guy said the reason they were moving missiles to the western part of the country was because of an incoming asteroid that would hit in spring of 2014.  Huh.  That always confuses me, when I think of the western part of Russia it's really east of here and their eastern part is west of here.  This is why I don't use GPS.

So I started looking up from more reliable sources if there is anything to all of this and found this article from 2003:

Asteroid may hit Planet Earth on March 21, 2014.
SkyNews ^ | 09/02/03 | Staff Writer

Posted on Tue Sep 2 07:39:19 2003 by bedolido

Scientists monitoring an asteroid have warned it could collide with Earth in just over a decade.

The newly discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47, is around two-thirds of a mile wide and has been classified as "an event meriting careful monitoring" by astronomers.

It is around one tenth fo the size of the meteor that is thought to have wiped out dinosaurs on Earth 65 million years ago.

In the event of it hitting the Earth, the rock would have the force of 350,000 mega tonnes - around eight million times more powerful than the bomb dropped at Hiroshima at the end of the Second World War.

On impact it would be travelling at 75,000 miles a hour.

Experts say the giant rock, which was first spotted by Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program (Linear) in New Mexico, could impact on Earth on March 21, 2014.

But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just one in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information.

With a mass of around 2,600 million tons, it has been given a "Torino hazard rating" of one. Scientists said it is likely to drop down the Torino hazard scale as more observations are made.

Its orbit calculations are currently based on just 51 observations during a seven-day period.

Dr Alan Fitzsimmons of Queen's University, Belfast, one of the expert team advising the UK Near Earth Objects Information Centre, based in Leicester, said: "The NEO will be observable from Earth for the next two months, and astronomers will continue to track it over this period."

He added that there is no cause for concern over the asteroid.

Asteroids such as 2003 QQ47 are chunks of rock left over from the formation of our solar system 4.5 billion years ago.

Most are kept at a safe distance from Earth in the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter.

But the gravitational influence of giant planets such as Jupiter can nudge asteroids out of these safe orbits and send them plunging into the Earth's neighbourhood.

Last Updated: 14:07 UK, Tuesday September 02, 2003

Then today, there is this article from the British press:

Monday, Dec 23 2013 9PM  42°F

Asteroid hurtles towards earth

Scientists were today warning of a possible asteroid collision with the Earth.

An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014 and has been classified as "an event meriting careful monitoring" by astronomers.

But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information.

The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47, has a mass of around 2,600 million tons (2,600 billion kg).

Its orbit calculations are currently based on just 51 observations during a seven-day period.

Dr Alan Fitzsimmons of Queen's University, Belfast, one of the expert team advising the UK NEO (Near Earth Objects) Information Centre, based in Leicester, said: "The NEO will be observable from Earth for the next two months, and astronomers will continue to track it over this period."

The giant rock was first observed on August 24 by Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program (LINEAR), based in Socorro, New Mexico.

The observations were reported to the Minor Planet Centre in Massachusetts, a centre for all new discoveries of asteroids and comets. The asteroid has been given a classification - known as a "Torino hazard rating" of one - defining it as "an event meriting careful monitoring."

Scientists said it was likely to drop down the scale for hazard as more observations were made.

Kevin Yates, project manager for the UK NEO Information Centre, said: "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale.

"The NEO Information Centre will continue to monitor the latest results of observations and publish regular updates on our website."

Asteroids such as 2003 QQ47 are chunks of rock left over from the formation of our solar system 4.5 billion years ago.

Most are kept at a safe distance from Earth in the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter.

But the gravitational influence of giant planets such as Jupiter can nudge asteroids out of these safe orbits and send them plunging into the Earth's neighborhood.


Strange in 10 years their ability to figure out if this is going to hit or not has not changed one bit.  Also seems plagiarism is rampant in the British Isles.  But they still have a couple of months to figure it out, the asteroid I mean, not plagiarism.

I wonder if congress is in session on March 21?  One can hope.  Then again, does all of this explain the behavior of our fearless leaders the last 10 years?

Think about it.  Here in CO, we got this great airport we didn't need, miles outside the city of Denver, and rumors for years about all the underground building and work being done.  Then you got all those Conspiracy Theory shows that actually provided film footage of an underground facility in the Ozarks.

Nah.  That is just nutty.  Almost as nutty as wondering if all those earthquakes in OK and TX are being caused by one of those Big Bertha tunnel diggers  building a tunnel from Denver's underground city to Dallas.

But then, if they knew this was coming, why not print money like there is no tomorrow when they are pretty sure there is no tomorrow?  So they just print and print cash, build the underground facilities, and figure no big deal.  Unless of course the asteroid misses and now they have to explain - hey, wasn't that a subplot of some movie where the guy figured he wasn't going to live through the trip to the asteroid so he borrowed hundreds of thousands from the mob?  Huh.

Well, anyways, I don't put much stock in some bird posting youtube predictions even if she did strangely hit the Japan earthquake, but then again I could predict an earthquake in Japan in 2014 and odds are pretty good it will hit because they have them all the time.  But to pick it within a 3 day range, huh.  Then to find out that scientists have been watching said asteroid for 10 years and predicting the day it might hit, and when you think about it, is 1 out of 909000 really that big a number?  Much better odds than a lottery ticket and really better odds than the Cubs winning a World Series this millennium.

Just one of those strange things I've found of late.  Won't be posting for the next three days, so I wish everyone, especially Papa Duck, a very Merry Christmas.  May the Lord be remembered on this day we celebrate His birthday and may He bless all who do.

I'm a melancholy man, that's what I am,
All the world surrounds me, and my feet are on the ground.
I'm a very lonely man, doing what I can,
All the world astounds me and I think I understand
That we're going to keep growing, wait and see.

When all the stars are falling down
Into the sea and on the ground,
And angry voices carry on the wind,
A beam of light will fill your head
And you'll remember what's been said
By all the good men this world's ever known.

Moody Blues

Sunday, December 22, 2013


Okay, this is actually the third time I've written a blog on this topic.  The first one was a week or so ago and I deleted it before I posted it because, well, didn't like it.  Yesterday, with new information I wrote another one, but then deleted it because, well, I didn't like it.  This one I will post, even if when I come to the end, I don't like it.

I hate floating dots.  I have no problem believing in the supernatural and believing in miracles, but when it comes to mankind and news, I don't like floating dots.  Everything is connected to something else and if you just think about something and open your mind you can usually connect the dots.  So, a few years ago I wrote a blog about the HSA buying 1.2 billion bullets.  Why?  Later, it reached 2 billion and lots of people were writing about it.  I never have been able to connect that little fact, the HSA buying 2 billion hollow point bullets of just about ever caliber you can think of; nor why most are stored in NM.  It still bugs me.

What set the burr under my saddle last week was a small story out of London KY.  Eight people came down with 'the flu' except it wasn't the flu, it turned into that deadly bacteria MRSA in their lungs and seven of the eight died.  The one guy that survived was in a coma for three weeks.

They could find no commonality between them, no correlations, nothing.  Just 8 people, same area, in about a week, all come down with MRSA in their lungs.

Now, we have H1N1 in Houston and Austin.  They are telling everyone if you haven't gotten a flu shot, you better get it now.  Not just in Texas, but everywhere.  The problem is that after you get a flu shot with H1N1 you actually can spread the bug for 21 days.  I always noticed that when I'd take my folks to get flu shots that I'd always have the sneezes in a couple of days afterwards and once got sick.

So, what is bugging me?  Well, here in Colorado, we've had a flu going around that is backwards; it isn't the nose, throat, to lungs thing that we've all seen and had most of our lives.  This is a lungs to throat to nose flu.  It's ass backwards.  Seriously, have you ever seen a bug work in that direction?   And it hangs on and on and on.  I'm still feeling occasional congestion nearly 8 weeks later and so are others that have had it.  It's that backwards thing that bothers me.  It's that small pocket in one town with MRSA in the lungs that bothers me.  It's two cities in TX where we have  a new outbreak of H1N1 all of a sudden that bothers me.  Two cities, same time, and as far as I've been able to find, the people in Austin were not in Houston recently.  Nor visa versa.

It's that FEMA sent out, in October, RFP's for medical supplies, food supplies, and other such things for a major health outbreak.

 I know, I'm being paranoid.  Maybe.  I'm not sure in the world today paranoia isn't the new common sense.   So now start trying to figure out how dots connect.

What a large number of people want in this country is a national health care system.  One systems, one plan, just like Canada, England, Sweden, etc.  But what we got is Obamacare.  And Obama's plan is a total cluster bomb.  It's seriously screwing up Medicaid, Medicare, and all the private insurance companies.  Hundreds of thousands have lost their insurance as of the end of this month and nobody can sign up for the new programs because the web site doesn't work; you know, web sites like your ten year old can program; and those that have signed up are getting double billed out of their checking accounts while the insurance companies are not getting the information letting them know they now have that person as a client nor getting paid by the government and into this absolute cluster bomb we have a deadly pandemic?

Everyone is sick, no one has or knows if they have insurance.  Doctors, hospitals, nurses overworked.

And sweeping in to solve this problem will be a new emergency national health care plan so everyone can get treated for free, get the drugs to save their lives, medical people will start getting paid, and so a few thousand people have to die for the greater good.  National health care.

That is not the only way I can connect the dots, you know.  I always jump back to Agenda 21 where almost all the points have been implemented except a couple, those couple being the disarming of everyone not working for the government and the reduction of the population by about 80%.

But I don't see that happening here.  In 2009, we had a breakout of H1N1 in this country and most people fought it off, some got sick, I'm sure some died since people die of the flu every year.  Usually, when a flu sweeps people develop the antibodies so that it doesn't really outbreak again in massive numbers, which makes me wonder how the new one in Texas has morphed, or been morphed.

Keep alert.  I know I rant about Fuku, but the truth is while I do think that is so much more serious than anyone knows, that we are killing all sea life in the Pacific, and that many will be dying of cancer over the next 20 years from the radiation, guess what, there is not a damn thing I or anyone else can do about it.  Not a thing.  We've been radiated, our food is radiated and we are eating it.    But with the flu, there are things we can do.  Wash hands constantly.  Become Adrian Monk and wash your hands 100 times a day.  Never touch your face in public.  Wipe your cell phone with anti biotic wipes.  Steering wheel too.  And if it does start getting bad, wear a mask when you shop.  Wearing a mask is normal operating procedure in China, where flu bugs seem to be the only thing they can actually build themselves without stealing it from american and european patents.  It's still their number one export to the world, flu bugs.  But people in China wear masks all the time.

Just, keep alert people.  Something is missing from the dot connecting right now and it bugs me.

It's these little things, they can pull you under
Live your life filled with joy and thunder
Yeah, yeah we were altogether
Lost in our little lives

Oh, but sweetness follows
Oh, but sweetness follows


Friday, December 20, 2013


First of all, thanks to anonymous for purchasing a softcover edition of my book.  I moved from being ranked around 2,500,000 to 500,000.  For selling one book.  Trying to figure out how to spend that $1.83 cents now.

Okay, this is seriously weird.  As many of my long term imaginary readers know, I'm a big fan of Supertramp.  Probably my favorite all time group.  Okay, they aren't Brahms or the Dante Symphony, but close.

But I saw this photo on Prison Planet when I was doing a StartPage search for music groups and Crowley.  Remember, this album was released in 1980, when I had hair, ate 5000 calories a day, ran six miles a day, was popular and had the illusions of a happy future.

I always like Supertramp album covers.  Crime of the Century had that great stoner space theme, with the protagonist pulling on the bars.

Crisis What Crisis is probably not only my favorite Supertramp album but one of my favorite album covers.  I love the black/white depressing background with the full color guy just relaxing, immune to the crisis.  I wish I were still so delusional.

Breakfast in America was a good album, a little too pop, but still fits well in the progressive rock concept album genre.  Lord is it Mine is such a great song, in fact most of the tunes on this album are good, but the album cover never did much for me.

Until today, that is.  Because today I saw, doing an internet search on Supertramp and Crowley and thankfully not finding any connection, but I did see something incredibly freaky.  Remember, this album was released in 1980.  Reagan was running against Carter, we thought the economy was in the tank, though that was later redefined under Obama to make these Carter years look pretty damn good.  The economy in the Rust Belt was tanking, but in the south and west is was booming.  Look at the picture.  Look at the twin towers, the juice, the look on the face of the waitress and then think of the title. The picture of Manhattan taken from a plane.  Do you see it?

Now, let's reverse the picture.

There, right above the towers, the P is a 9 and the U looks like 11.  911.  Right above those two towers.  Breakfast in America.

Wow.  Strange.

At night when all the world's asleep
The questions run so deep for such a simple man
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned?
I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am
Who I am, who I am, who I am

'Coz I'm feeling so illogical
Oh, oh, oh, oh
B-b-bloody marvelous

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


Twas a week before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except my Apple mouse….

I am truly scared now.  Back in 2012, I wrote a blog about how to solve the countries financial problems in about 4 or 5 years.  When I wrote it, I stared at it for 5 minutes or so, asking myself, do I really want to post this?  If this is on the planning board, am I putting my life in danger?  If it is not, by writing this would someone in Washington go, "Hey, that's a good idea!" and put it in action?

What I posted, which is pasted below or those millions of my imaginary readers who have bought my book can look it up, is the idea that to solve the countries problems, all you need to do is figure out how to wipe out about 50-90% of the baby boomer population by 2020.  And the way to do so is to activate the SV40 virus we all carry from the polio vaccines, which will provide a fast acting soft tissue cancer.  It does today, in a small percentage of boomers.  But what if…..

When I was on the phone with Joe Hagmann prior to being on their show on September 19th, I was talking to he and Mitch, their producer, and this blog came up in the conversation.  When I got done explaining it, they were both silent and then one asked it I could send them a copy of that blog and the other immediately said, 'me too'.  What I then told them was while I understand this is really friggin paranoid, what I am really waiting and watching for is when the federal government passes some sort of law that will give them access to all the IRA/401k and other wealth the baby boomers have accumulated when they die.  Because it won't be enough to just wipe them off the books, the government is going to want to get their hands on the 5 or 6 trillion dollars BB's have socked away.  When that happens, it's time to take this nutty idea very seriously.

What I read today stopped me in my tracks.  They have done it.

First, from Ann Barnhardt's site: (sorry about the misspelling originally)

Even I didn’t see this one coming.  In excess of 90% of Obamacare “enrollees” are being shunted onto Medicaid.  Beyond the simple explanation of the Cloward-Piven strategy to overload the FEDGOV, now we see the full, satanic picture:  Obamacare specifically enables the FEDGOV to back-bill and levy your estate after you croak to “pay” for “healthcare services rendered”.

Make no mistake, this is a de facto seizure of the probate estates of the vast majority of Americans.  Period.

Now from the http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2022469957_medicaidrecoveryxml.html
Medicaid, in keeping with federal policy, has long tapped into estates. But because most low-income adults without disabilities could not qualify for typical medical coverage through Medicaid, recovery primarily involved expenses for nursing homes and other long-term care.
The federal Affordable Care Act (ACA) changed that. Now many more low-income residents will qualify for Medicaid, called Apple Health in Washington state.
But if they qualify for Medicaid, they’re not eligible for tax credits to subsidize a private health plan under the ACA, which requires all adults to have health insurance by March 31.

And there you have it.  The piece the the puzzle that was missing from my paranoid ranting is now being enacted.  A method for the government to confiscate the assets of the baby boom generation.  A plan fully in place by the end of 2014, the plan can now be implemented.  The activation of the SV40 virus in baby boomers causing the fast acting cancer than will wipe them, oops, I mean us, out within a decade.

With a massive wipeout of the baby boomers, Social Security instantly becomes solvent and in the black.  Medicare is in the black.  Six trillion of our debt, the IOU's congress has put into SS/MED to take the surpluses out,  can be completely written off and torn up.  And now the government, besides all this, will get their hands on an additional 5 trillion or so in IRA/401k assets.  Unemployment will go away, the ceiling to upper management will be cleared for the newer generations.  Damn, this is scary.  I'm a nice guy, try to be righteous in my life, read my Bible, and I thought of this; is it really nuts to consider the possibility that all the Crowleites in DC haven't thought of this?

I know, it sounds like an X Files episode, something so outrageous it couldn't possibly happen, but then, most of us that were around felt the same way when we found out there were people running Ford that figured it was easier and cheaper to pay for the burning deaths and injuries to men, women, and children than to fix the problem.

Original post from Book:

Friday, October 12, 2012

Now this is what you need to understand. The bean counters, actuaries, and lawyers sat down and figured out how much it would cost to fix 10 years worth of Pintos on the road and then they calculated the probabilities of a Pinto being rear ended in an accident, the probability of those accidents that would result in an explosion, and the cost of the lawsuits stemming from the death, burning, and maiming of occupants riding in the Pinto and they determined it would be cheaper to pay off lawsuits and medical bills than to fix the problem.

Read that again and remember what happened before I continue.

The company decision makers determined the cost of fixing a problem was too large and they were better off keeping quiet and letting people die. In a nutshell.
Why does this keep me up at night?

What are the biggest problems, financially, this country faces today? Well, we have a Medicare System that was robbed by congress for decades of surpluses and now have two generations living longer and costing more than anyone anticipated bankrupting the program with the largest generation, the baby boomers, starting into the program. Even if they had not been stealing money from the program for 40 years, the baby boomers would bankrupt the program. And the very same conditions exist in Social Security. Did you know that over 4 trillion of that 16 trillion debt we have are IOU's in the Social Security System? And the boomers, who saw their taxes for SS doubled in 1984ish with the promise it would be there are going to expect that SS money, especially since tens of millions of baby boomers have lost their jobs in their 50's and are having to go into what is left of their 401ks and IRAs to live because they cannot find work.

So how do you solve the problem? Well, think back to the Ford accountants, lawyers, and actuaries and ask yourself what would people with that mentality do. Why not put some stuff in those flu shots all the seniors rush to get each year and eliminate 75% of the seniors over 65? Can't do them all in one year, people would catch on, but over a 5 or 10 year period, you could reduce the participants in Medicare and Social Security by 75%. 

Then, the baby boomers are all carrying that ticking time bomb SV40 that was in the polio vaccine until around 1965. We know it can cause cancer, why not find something to really kick it off and into gear and take out 50% of the baby boomers with cancer before they reach 65 years old. What a sad thing it would be, the government would say, all these baby boomers dying of cancer from the polio vaccine they received in the 1950's and early 1960's. Millions dying, nothing we can do, call Hospice.

And you just cut out over half of the population to receive Medicare and social security, making the programs solvent without any additional taxes. The government just made those two programs solvent for 3 generations to come, just ended the unemployment problems, the economy booms as all the GenX, GenY, and Gen Borgs inherit the money.
Is that paranoid? Two words: Ford Pinto. 

Actually, if you look back, you will find the government KNEW about the virus in the polio vaccine around 1957 but they'd ordered and made so many doses they just went right ahead and kept dishing them out for another six years while they worked on a vaccine without the virus. Go use Startpage.com to search for SR40 and cancer.

But, you cry, our government wouldn't do that today! Go check out some of the things we are doing in Africa right now. That wonderful announcement I told you about before concerning the cream women could use to prevent the spread of AIDS from the man, they were ecstatic with the results of 40% effective! Of course, that means 60% of the women in the study with the cream, not so lucky. And I'll bet they had a placebo control group too, even less lucky. But what are a few thousand dead African women compared to Americans, Asians, and Europeans being able to have sex in any orifice they desire? 

Or a few years ago they discovered that the US and UN were placing birth control in malaria vaccines. Only problem was no one was told, so when doctors gave the shots to any pregnant woman, well, she miscarried her child. I know, that's just blacks in Africa, the guinea pigs for the white world.

The Ford Pinto. I can't get that out of my mind. All those secret uncontrolled government agencies operating today without a media or watchdog over them. Safe bureaucrats without oversight. No worries there. Wasn't this one of the warnings given us in the X Files? The spread of a new variation of small pox by bees that would kill anyone without the vaccine? Lot of work, why not just put it in the vaccine like they did in the
1950's? Why not just kick off the SR40 virus in the baby boomer generation and wipe it out. Social Security would be solvent, Medicare would be solvent for the next 3 generations and all that surplus cash would be flowing again while the 4 trillion in debt would be wiped off the books along with all those private and public pension funds that would no longer be in the red. Unemployment below 4%, the economy booms. A miracle turnaround! A simple solution for a great problem in a world where bean counters, actuaries, lawyers, doctors, and chemists have already shown they don't have a moral problem wiping out, poisoning, or killing thousands, so why would millions bother them?

Lane, Dick (2013-07-17). FOLIE A DEUX: A Madness Shared By Two (Kindle Location 6198).  . Kindle Edition.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Well, woke up this morning to two pieces of bad news.  Of course, in my life right now, the only news is bad news.

Billy Jack is dead.

If you are asking "who is Billy Jack", I can't help you.  But for those who just had a sad smile cross your lips, Actor Tom Laughlin died last night in CA.

Before Arnold, before Rambo, before Indiana Jones, there was Billy Jack.  A half breed American Green Beret who lived on an indian reservation and protected peaceful loving hippies from evil conservative town folk.  Funny, always portrayed as evil conservatives and yet every time we get a progressive president, it's then our freedoms disappear.

Anyways, Billy Jack was THE drive-in movie in the early to mid 1970's.  There were four in all, the first, Born Losers, no one ever saw until after the second, Billy Jack, hit it big and then there were two more Billy Jack movies, The Trial and Billy Goes to Washington which they swear wasn't satire.

The funniest part of the Billy Jack movie will be where he makes the rich kid drive his brand new Vette into the lake and when the dad finds out he says "you just drove a brand new 3,000 dollar car into the lake?"  Just a note to the goddess inflation.

The best part of the story is how Tom Laughlin fought Hollywood and the industry to make his films and distribute them as an independent.  He is the hero to independent film makers everywhere.  A hero to those who refuse to give in to the system.

So rest in peace, one tin soldier.

Recently applied for a job with the state of Colorado.  I didn't really fit the 'minimum requirements' but I thought my unique skill set would be a match.  It was for a Victim's Advocate with the Department of Public Safety.  Basically, you deal with victims of car accidents and help them deal with the event, sign them up for state aid/benefits, find the families tickets and hotels to come out here because of the accident, deal with the hospitals, etc.  So you would think that someone with a masters in PM and who was a caretaker for 15 years for his parents would be a good fit.

But, alas, no.

Dear Richard: 

We are sorry to inform you that your application for Victim's Advocate - District 3 with the Department of Public Safety is no longer being considered because you did not meet the minimum qualifications for the position. 

Please refer to the minimum qualification identified in the announcement for this position. The announcement may be accessed from your NeoGov account atwww.colorado.gov/cojobs .

If you have questions or additional information regarding the review of your application, please contact me immediately at xxx-xxx-xxxx or via email at XXX. If you believe this decision is in error and that you do meet the minimum qualifications, you must contact me to attempt to resolve any questions you may have concerning your qualifications by no later than five days after the date of this notice in order to be included in the comparative analysis process for this position.

We appreciate your interest in this employment opportunity with State of Colorado and wish you the best in your job search. 

And so it goes and so continues my problem with the market place today.  I almost miss the days when we complained about bean counters and lawyers ruining the world, now it's HR.

Herein lies the problem: you have Alpha, or Type I errors, and Beta, or Type II errors.  The Beta error, for HR, would be bringing in or hiring a bad person.  So they weigh things very strongly to avoid a Beta Error.  But when you weigh things to avoid one error, you increase the probability of the other error.  So for HR, they totally minimize the Beta error, interviewing or hiring a 'loser' and in turn are much more likely to commit an Alpha error.  How many excellent employees never get so much as an interview and the owners will never know they exist.

The problem is, no one tracks Alpha errors against HR.  How many excellent potential employees go 'unknown' to the owners of a business because the HR department eliminates them from the pool?  Then owners sit around and wonder why they can't find those creative types we use to hire and blame the generations when the problem is their HR department.

The second problem will arise over time, where the HR department will hire a certain type of person for every job and you end up with a company full of drones who are all alike in personalities, world views, and such; mirroring the HR department.

Frankly, if I owned a small business of under 500, I'd dedicate one morning a week to review all the rejected resumes to pull out the diamonds HR missed.

Where are the creative liberal arts people hiding these days?  I'm asking, where did you find a job you could hide from the world?

Maybe I should just garage sale my life, drive west, buy a horse, and protect Christian conservatives from the progressive town folks who want to kill Christians in the name of tolerance, relativism, and for the betterment of society.

Listen children to a story
That was written long ago
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley folk below

On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath a stone
And the valley people swore
They'd have it for their very own

Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end

There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the Judgment Day
On the bloody morning after
One tin soldier rides away

So the people of the valley
Sent a message up the hill
Asking for the buried treasure
Tons of gold for which they'd kill

Came an answer from the kingdom
With our brothers we will share
All the secrets of our mountain
An' all the riches buried there

Now the valley cried in anger
"Mount your horses, draw your sword"
And they killed the mountain people
So they won their just reward

Now they stood beside the treasure
On the mountain dark and red
Turn the stone and which beneath it
"Peace on Earth" was all it said

Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end

There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the Judgment Day
On the bloody morning after
One tin soldier rides away

One Tin Soldier by Coven
The Billy Jack Theme

Monday, December 16, 2013


I was thinking of changing the title of this blog to "Behold, The Obsolete Man".

Job interviewing sucks, don't ask.  Now I am about to hit the high end restaurants to try and find a waiter job.  Which I will actually love, it doesn't involve sitting, I'd work with younger people, and if I can find a really good one, the money will be good.  I just need the job for 3 or 4 years till I finish my masters in theology or apologetics.  Then I can write end of the world biblical books and sell thousands if not millions.

As if.

That is the problem with American Christians, you know.  It's about My relationship with God, as if the arrow points from God to ME.  That is wrong.  It is not about ME, it's about God.  God is not our genie, we are his pets.  Hmm, that might have been a little harsh.

Went to the church Christmas dinner Sunday night and it was nice.  Wasn't planning to go, even as late as 5 I'd decided not to but then about 5:15 I showered and went.  Free meals are important now.

See, what bothers me now is meeting people, and it's always, "What do you do for a living" and I reply "nothing".  And they say "wow, that must be nice" and I usually come back with "sure is if you don't mind lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling wondering if you are going to be homeless in two months or three months".  That is kind of a conversation killer.  Somehow, small talk just bores me these days.

Kind of sad, listening to Croce tonite.  So good, so short a career and life.  Lover's Cross is the first song I ever taught myself on the flute; no reason, it's just that song came along quickly.  And it's the only one I think I actually have memorized.

I read a little more on the Fuku situation today and it reminded me of an old story.  Back in college, I was a bartender at a bar in Kalamazoo called McGonigle's Saloon.  It was  a great job for college, money wasn't that great, but the people were.  Some of the best times were the nights, after the bar had closed, and we'd sit around on after a Friday or Saturday night and the owners, managers, bartenders and waitresses would kick back and have a few and talk.

One of the waitri was a gal named Sharon.  Now Sharon was one of those people that had the unfortunate lot in life of being born about 10 years too late.  Sharon was the quintessential flower girl, yippie, hippie or whatever they were in the 1960's.  Unfortunately, Sharon went to college in the late 70's early 80's when all the 1960's hippies were finishing up their MBA's and about to start their software companies or MLM businesses or whatever else they did to sell out their dreams of youth.

One evening, Sharon was going on and on about saving this or saving that and I finally slammed down my beer mug and said "Sharon, just nuke the f**king whales".  While Sharon's jaw hit the table, everyone else just cracked up and that line became kind of a catch all phrase around the place for, well, not really sure, at least as long as I was there.

I miss those days.  I got that job at McGonigles in one day.  I decided I didn't want to work for Amtrak that summer or live at home, so I drove up to the Zoo one day, walked into the bar, met the owner, and got the job.  Then I got a sub, sat down by the Valley Pond and was wondering where I was going to live and lo and behold an old dorm buddy saw me and said he and another guy I knew were looking for a 3rd roommate for the summer.  One day.

Now I'm 55, oops, 56 now, and nothing.  The Obsolete Man.  Not allowed back in the business world, too overqualified to start over.  Time and credit card balance are running out.  Mid January the way I figure it.  I have paid January rent, so on Jan 1st I will pay Feb rent and give the 60 day notice to break the lease, which means I will be car living in March.  But I suspect the bills being paid will come to and end sometime in January.  Man, I sure hope the 6 months of emergency foods are good.  Unless something changes, like I can go back in time where you can get hired and be an outstanding employee and softball player.

I know what the problem is; the direction of the arrow.  The happiest I've been in life is when I don't think or worry about me, but point the arrow away at others.  The focus is outwards to others, not inwards.  But that damn arrow is pointing at me now, I can't turn it around, and I find myself thinking about the past which is the second sin; never ever think about the past.  Tear out life's rear view mirrors and look forward, not too far forward, just far enough to see the bumps or potholes.  Just the fact I actually know my age is a sign something is wrong.

You know what else I did?  All that reading about Obama and the 'selfie' pics at the memorial and I realized I had never taken a selfie.  So I did and NO I was clothed, it wasn't a Weiner moment, please.  But I look at the picture of myself and I looked so sad and old.  When did that happen?

I wonder whatever became of Sharon?  Did she stay with a life of trying to save the whales or sell out?  Did life just slowly chip away at her or was it one big boulder?  She smoked like a chimney, so maybe she isn't even around.  I don't look up old friends on the internet, just bums the crap out of you when you find someone you haven't seen in years and find out they died.  Or got fat.  Or got fat and died.

Years roll on, seemingly faster each year, and now the nuking of the whales is actually taking place in the Pacific.  Kind of makes a man want to start drinking, smoking, and getting high again.  But I won't.

In life, you catch waves.  When you catch a good one, you ride it for as long as you can and enjoy every minute.  But then in life you also get caught in the riptides and the only thing you can do then is stop trying to swim against it, swim sideways for awhile, and hope you have the energy to reach the end of the rip tide and then try to catch the next good wave.  Just keep swimming.

Now I see you standing with brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me you're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
'Cause I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes, I once loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

Joan Baez


Checked out my sales numbers on Amazon and am slowly drifting towards the million mark.  Not a million sold, but a million other books are ahead of me.  In fact, in paperback, I'm already over 2M which means there are 2M other books people would rather buy than my book.

I think if I were to do it again, I would title the book "MY DAD KNEW BILL O'REILLY".  He didn't, but he read his autobiography, and there was about a year whenever Bill was on TV my dad would go on and on about how he grew up with Bill and could remember more about Bill's life than he could about mine.

Plus, you put O'Reilly's name on a book, and 1/2 a million sell in two months.

But what I found really strange was you can now buy a copy of my book, used, for $999.11.


First of all, someone bought my book and already are dumping it, which is insulting.  You should hold onto it for years so you can find out if I was right or wrong on all my prognosticating on the future.  But $999 bucks?

Look, if anyone wants to pay that kind of money for my book, I'm all for it, but buy it from me.  In fact, I will sell you a personally autographed copy of the book for $399.00 plus I won't charge you four bucks for shipping like the reseller is charging for my book.

$999.11?  I don't know what intrigues me more, why 999 or why the 11 cents.  And so it goes.

Friday, December 13, 2013


There are certain things about our childhood that make a lasting impression on us.  I've been searching the net for several months, trying to find a picture: it is a picture of the double slide that use to reside at the little park off of Highland Ave. by the water tower in Blue Island IL back in the 1960's.  I really wanted to find the picture because when I tell you about the slide, you won't believe me.

What got me thinking about the slide was when I was walking through the park nearby recently, putting an end to the rumors I'm not getting out much, I saw the play ground equipment and felt so sorry for kids today.  I cannot believe the wussie play equipment kids have today.

Greenbriar School, K3, had a 12 step slide, monkey bars, and swings we use to swing as high as we could and then time the jump off to see who could fly the farthest.  And it was on concrete.  I don't remember anyone getting killed, maimed, or seriously injured.  These things that pass for kids playground equipment today, no wonder all of our boys are barely more than girls.

But the double slide, I wish I had a picture because you will not believe this, was 24 steps high.  It was absolutely scary as hell to kids.  It was a right of passage to us as children, we became big boys when we could not just climb and slide down the slide, but what was seriously cool was once at the top, swing over the railing and sliding down the pole like a fireman.

Honest, it was 24 steps up.  It would not surprise me to find out it was 30.  When you got to the top, there were two slides, one left, one right.  And two poles supporting the platform, more on them later.

The first time I got to the top I was probably 4,  the bigger kids, including my sister were not paying attention, and I started up the ladder and was almost at the top when someone noticed and started screaming.  I think it was my sister and I swear she was screaming "JUMP" but I might be wrong.

But one of the bigger kids raced to the slide and up the ladder and got to me at the top and we had to go down the slide together, and then I got yelled at when we got to the bottom, yelled at by my mom when we got home, yelled at by my dad when he got home and I think some stranger driving by the next day yelled at me too, but that might have been for something else.

But climbing that slide was a passage from being a little kid to being a big kid.  And the day you climbed outside the rail and slide down the poll was just the ultimate in balls when you did it before any of your friends.  And without wetting your pants, that was important.  Didn't count if you wet your pants on the way down.

Which is all leading to a man who made an impression on me as a kid, Mr. Muir.  He was related pretty closely to John Muir, I don't remember how, but he was the gym teacher for the k6 school district.  Now here is what you have to understand about Mr. Muir, he was already in his 60's when I started school.  But the guy was all muscle.  It was bizarre to see the bulging biceps with old people's skin over it.  And no one ever beat the guy in HORSE, that bastard almost never missed a basketball shot, no matter where he took the shot.  He even demonstrated, at his age, climbing the rope to the top of the gym ceiling every year.  I remember he did 100 pushups and 100 sit-ups every morning, as he told us.

Do they still climb ropes in gym class?   Do they still have gym class? I doubt it.  Even back then I could never figure out why they put that 1 inch matt at the bottom on the gym floor, I guess if anyone fell it would keep them from damaging the hardwood floor because it sure the hell wasn't going to keep you from dying from the fall.  But no one ever did.  Die I mean.

That rope climbing was scarier than the slide, but I don't think any kid who never did that slide was ever going to make it to the ceiling of the gym in 4-6 grade because it was a LONG way down.  But every year, Mr. Muir would haul his 60 year plus body up the rope like he was Tarzan and come back down barely breathing hard.  And somewhere in the back of my head, I told myself to be like Mr. Muir when I am his age.

Well, I'm not his age yet and probably not in nearly as good a shape as he was at 56.  But not bad.  I doubt I could climb the rope today, hell , if I found that slide it would probably scare me, but there is that burning in me to keep in shape.

Taking care of my folks, I learned the value of making sure your legs and intestines are working well.  Either of them go and you go down fast to helplessness.  Which is why, today, after bringing the dog in from his walk, I did pushups, squats, and sit-ups.  Twenty each, not one hundred.  Heck, it's 4 o'clock and if I'd done 100 of each I'd probably just be finishing.

But it's the memory of Mr. Muir, the simplicity of childhood, the monster double slide over 24 steps tall and what a little boy had to do to be a big boy.  And in another few years, it all got so complicated.  I think that started when we all wanted to do something to Marcia Brady, but just weren't sure what.

Woke up this mornin' feelin' fine
There's somethin' special on my mind
Last night I met a new girl in the neighborhood, whoa yeah

Somethin' tells me, I'm into something good

She's the kind of girl who's not too shy
And I can tell I'm her kind of guy
She danced close to me like I hoped she would

Somethin' tells me, I'm into something good

Herman's Hermits


Back in college, I took est, Erhard Seminar Training.  It was real popular in the late 1970's and I wrote about it before so I won't repeat myself, but I remember taking the course because I felt different than others.  After three days in the class, I realized I was different, but I wasn't totally fracking nuts like the others in the class, so I left after the third day.

One of the difficulties of my current situation is it is making me focus on me, me finding a job, me getting my life in order, etc.  I don't like focusing on me; I figure if you focus on others, take care of others, the me takes care of itself.  I rarely look at myself in the mirror, never comb my hair, hell, I don't even own a brush or comb, and besides shaving or brushing teeth, never spend a whole lot of time looking or thinking about how I look.

So I was struck today by an article on Bruce Jenner.  I remember Jenner, when he was 'the world's greatest athlete' one year winning the Gold in the Decathlon.  But not being an idol worshiper, I really haven't paid much attention to him over the years, other than seeing a picture here or there and thinking 'now that is bad plastic surgery'.  I have no idea what he's been doing all these years, did he make enough money off the Gold medal to coast through life or did he start a business, I don't know.  He just looks weird.

And today's story, Jenner is reported to have said 'I just never liked my trachea' and is going to have some surgery to reduce the size of his trachea and I am thinking, who the hell ever thinks about how their trachea looks?  I mean, I don't think ever in my life have I even given one second of thought to my trachea and how it looks?

I mean waist size, sure, I've thought about it.  Not when I was young and it was flat, but when I got older and it was no longer flat, but I'm working on that problem.  Bald spots, sure, every guy is bugged with hair loss and if the guy says he truly doesn't care if he is going bald, he is lying through his teeth.  But I've never done anything about the hair loss, I really don't care, just wish I still had a full head of thick curly hair.

But my trachea?  Do people really think about that?  Does that mean people out in the world worry about how their elbows or knees look?  With all the problems in the world, all the problems at work, in the home, in life, who has time to think, is my trachea attractive?

Honest to God, I've never met a woman and thought, wow, she is hot except for that trachea.  Then again, if I saw a large trachea on a woman I would probably run the other directions since there is a good chance she is not a she in the first place. You know, I will confess, when I use to watch Ann Coulter on TV, I'd watch her trachea along with counting the hair flips.   Which reminds me of three friends from high school who, while in college, went to New Orleans one spring break and walked into a bar and thought they'd found heaven for it was filled with hot looking chicks.  So they drank, danced, and then the one guy in pre med noticed that the girl he was talking to did have a large trachea, put two and two together, and went to find his friends who were both either sitting or dancing and doing some serious tongue wrestling with the 'girls' and got them out of there but they really don't like people telling that story too much.  I, on the other hand, love to tell that story.  Especially when they are around and in front of their wives.

I guess if a guy or gal has way too much time on their hands, they might start thinking about how their trachea or elbow or big toe look but then I have had nothing but time on my hands and the thought never entered my mind.  I'll bet even after reading that article and writing this blog, I still won't remember to check out my trachea later today.

Am having a devil of a time uploading a spreadsheet to Event Brite.  I've saved the file as a csv, as told in the instructions, it's below the size limit, have the columns correct, even went through to remove any floating commas that might have been in the sheet.  I am doing a part time job for an old employer and friend which could grow into something else, we shall see.  I also decided to start going to high end restaurants in FC and Loveland next week and apply for a waiter job.  I'd like that; up and moving around, tips, and then I might be able to create a life around the two jobs giving me two sources of income.  Been a long time since I've waited tables, but the last time it was on a moving train so how hard can it be in a stationary building?

And three sources of income if my book becomes a best seller.  I know, but dreamers should never stop dreaming.

Dreamer, you stupid little dreamer;
So now you put your head in your hands, oh no!
I said "Far out, – What a day, a year, a life it is!"
You know, – Well you know you had it comin' to you,
Now there's not a lot I can do.

Will work it out someday

If I could see something
You can see anything you want, boy.
If I could be someone –
You can be anyone, celebrate boy.
If I could do something –
Well you can do something,
If I could do anything –
Well can you do something out of this world?

Take a dream on a Sunday
Take a life, take a holiday
Take a lie, take a dreamer
dream dream dream dream dream along...

Thursday, December 12, 2013


There really is only one story that should be getting any media coverage.  And it is the one story not being covered because 'they' don't want you to know just how bad it is.

I hope, okay I am dreaming, that one day, the survivors will hunt down the administration, congress, and the MSM members and put them on trial for their duplicity in the mass death of millions.  Hell, maybe most of them don't know.

If you are not paying attention to the Fukushima radiation poisoning going on, well, die stupid.

There are now 71 crew members from the USS Ronald Reagan with cancers.  They went to Japan after the disaster and the ship sucks up sea water and desalinates the sea water for drinking, showering, and cooking.  And now over seventy members of the crew on that ship have testicle, colon, brain, and other cancers.  Way out of statistical whack, most are young and in their 20's.

The die off of sea life in the Pacific is astronomical.  Sockeye Salmon in Alaska is down 80%.  Bears, birds, otters, seals, and other critters are dying left and right, have large patches of hair falling out, and oozing open sores.  Massive bird deaths in Oregon along the coast.  They also noticed serious problems with several types of whales.

The bizarre one, is that scientists have for years studied the 'decaying dead' on different parts of the sea floor.  They map out specific areas are regularly study the amount of dead covering the floor; it is usually, in the area off the coast of CA, around 5 to 10% over the last 20 years at any given time.  Well, until now, it's over 80%; they cannot believe what they are finding.  80% of the sea floor covered with dead fish, critters, squid, etc.  A massive die off approaching extinction numbers.

Why, oh why, did the governments of the world not attack this problem from the beginning as a world wide issue?  Why did we leave it to the Japanese government, who is leaving it to the Japanese corporation, to take care of?  I've worked for a Japanese company.  I have friends there who were Japanese.  There is so much to love about the Japanese people and their culture.  But as a collective?  I wouldn't trust them any farther than one of their judo black belts could throw me, as a collective government business.  They hide the truth regularly.  I saw it first hand.  Hide and lie and everyone knows it's hide and lie and that is how they do business.

Maybe the Japanese just figure this is payback for WWII.  We nuked them and now they are nuking us, well, and their own country and their own people but this is the culture that flew planes into battle ships, had mothers throw kids off the cliffs and then jumped before the barbarians arrived.

And they are screwing around over there and attempting a clean up method that if they screw it up one little bit, it will cause a nuclear reaction, explosion, that may be a planet wide extinction event.

We are being radiated seriously and our government is hiding it from the public.  The media is hiding it from the public.  This is not some nutty beforeitsnews crap.  There is real science, real pictures, real lawsuits, real life.  It is in the air you are breathing right now, it's in the food you are eating, the milk and water you are drinking.  Some areas are better than others, but by now it's everywhere which makes me wonder about all the people with these colds that don't ever go away….

But what's on the news?  Budget arguments? Obamacare (golly, massive radiation poisoning in a health care system where no one knows what is going on, who is paying who, yea, this is going to work)?  Movie awards?  Shopping numbers?  Just about everything but what is seriously the most important thing, the only thing, we should be focused on, the fact the country is being slowly poisoned by radiation from Fukushima either in the fish we eat, the fluids we drink, or the air we breath.

Where is the EPA who has hissy fits if you kill a field mouse with your mower, or have a puddle on your property that is now known as a wetland?  Why isn't the EPA screaming bloody murder over such an environmental disaster?

Take it from the hand that feeds you well
Not giving any more
You've been lost but I don't really care
I'm closing up my door
Had a chance you let it drift away
You threw it in my face
Give it all I can, there's nothing left
But what I'm left to waste, what I'm left to waste.

Can't take no more, can't take no more
Get yourself another fool.
One who's gonna treat you well
Tell you I can't take no more
You've taken all I had to give.

Atomic Rooster


Look, I don't know if the guy was a hero or villain, probably a little of both.  Yes, he spent a lot of time in prison, but he led the movement to end apartheid which was good, though the end result may not look so good if Zimbabwe is any indication.  I remember, man it's been over 15 years, friend of mine, her daughter married a SA and was home visiting and they owned a ranch or something and the workers told them that when Mandela dies, there will be great riots and they wished them to move now before it was too late.  They were not going to riot while Mandela was alive, but after his death, the black population intended to eradicate the white race from Africa.

So we shall see.

But what a funeral, huh?  I mean, I have been laughing for two days about the fat guy giving the sign language.  Total gibberish and I thought if some guy punked the officials and got up to give sign language without knowing a damn thing about it, he is my new hero.  Turns out he was hired as a signer, but now claims as the speeches started, he began seeing angels and he didn't want to panic because he'd seen them before and knew how to deal with him but he'd been hospitalized for over a year before in a psychiatric hospital; I mean at this point of the story you must be thinking how the hell did some nut with a violent past and a year in the psycho ward get that fricking close to all those world leaders?

But our president, speaking of violent people who need to be in the psycho ward, really made americans proud by sitting next to the sexy PM of Denmark and spent most of the funeral flirting, laughing, and taking 'selfie' pictures of each other - with Michelle sitting right next to him.  I mean Clinton must have been thinking "even I didn't have the balls to do that right in front of my wife with the world looking on" and "wow, Helle is looking good, I wonder if she is working out".

First of all, I was absolutely shocked.  I thought for sure Obama was totally gay.

Secondly, I was appalled.  I thought the Danes had better taste.

Wow, wouldn't you have loved to been on Air Force One for the trip home after this display of, "Shut up B, I talking trash with a white chick" moment?

I suppose we should all be grateful Obama didn't use the moment to show his new Killer Drone to impress people, sign away Alaska to the Russians thinking no one would notice, or sign new Obamacare legislation ordering internment for anyone not signed up for Obamacare by the end of Ramadan.

No tune, maybe later.

Monday, December 9, 2013


The answer may surprise you:  Aleister Crowley


Let's start with music.  The Beatles Sargent Pepper Album, Crowley is the second from the left on the top row.  In fact, Sargent Pepper, it was 20 years ago today, Sargent Pepper taught the band to play was released exactly 20 years after the death of Crowley.
The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zepplin (Jimmy Page bought Crowley's old home in Scotland), Sting, Bowie (song Quicksand), AC/DC, The Doors, Zappa, and others have all adopted and admitted following Crowleyism.

The Doors posed with a bust of Crowley on the back of their 13th album.

What is seriously scary, is when you look at the groups that are associated with Crowley, they all have soaring success and they all have many untimely deaths.  Think of all the dead rock stars, Lennon, Moon, Hendrix, Mercury, Sid, and on and on and you can trace them to the study of Crowleyism.  They sold their souls to Satan and Satan always requires a blood sacrifice.

Ozzie Osbourn even wrote a song about Crowley.  And John Lennon specifically quotes Crowley's philosophy when he said, “Do What Thou Wilt”.  Sound familiar?  Jay Z wears a shirt with that on the front.

Crowley was the personification of Satan in human flesh.  His books and worldview have influenced not just the musicians of the 1960's and beyond, but he influenced politicians.

Here are two quotes from Crowley.  See if you can guess who was a fan.

Crowley stated:

We should have no compunction in utilizing the natural qualities of the bulk of mankind.  We do not insist on trying to train sheep to hunt foxes or lecture on history; we look after their physical well-being, and enjoy their wool, and mutton.  In this way, we shall have a contented class of slaves who accept the conditions of existence as they really are, and enjoy life with the quiet wisdom of the cattle.

 Crowley stated:

Should we not rather breed humanity for quality by killing off any tainted stock, as we do with other cattle? And exterminating the vermin which infect it, especially Jews and Protestant Christians?

[4]  Crowley, Aleister, Louis Wilkinson, Hymenaeus Beta. The Law Is for All: the Authorized Popular Commentary on Liber Al Vel Legis Sub Figura CCXX, the Book of Law. Phoenix, Ariz.: New Falcon, 1996. 131. Print.

[5]  The Law Is For All, p. 37

And yes, Crowley spent some time in Germany during the end of the Weimar Republic, when Hitler began his rise and yes, they met and discussed; things.  In fact, Crowley referred to Hitler as his guinea pig.

Hitler's mentor later became the mentor to rock stars?  I'm not making this crap up, this is what I researched today.

Crowley's lifestyle was absolutely shocking in the era in which he lived. Besides his interest in the occult, he was sexually promiscuous with both genders (at a time when homosexuality was still illegal in Britain), frequented prostitutes, was vocally defiant against Christianity and Victorian and post-Victorian prudishness toward sexual subjects, and was a drug addict.

In fact, it was, according to Crowley biographer Lawrence Sutin, his homosexual behavior that led him to an encounter with an immanent deity and triggered his interest in occultism, secret societies and what he later called Magick, with the K in order to separate it from show magic.

In America, one of Crowley's proteges was a man named Jack Parsons.  He was a scientists in CA and you may not have heard of him, but he was influential in training another protege, a man named L. Ron Hubbard, who called Crowley his very good friend.  Yep, Scientology can trace it's roots right back to Crowleyism.  And how influential is Scientology in Hollywood today?

Who is this man?  Dead since 1947 and he still impacts the world today.  If you know anyone into Wiccan, the initiation rituals by Gardner came from Crowley.  And Crowley is the one who coined the phrase "New Age" in his book "The Book of Law".

I'd bet 10 bucks Obama has a copy.

When I woke today, I'd never heard of Crowley, at least as far as I can remember.  Maybe I had, but it hadn't clicked in my head or I wasn't ready; that can happen some times in life, you can learn something but it will be months or years before you understand and can apply the lesson.   After spending the day, I realized this guy has been influencing the world not only in his lifetime, possibly even molding Hitler into the monster he became, but has warped the minds and lives of hundreds of musicians and actors, who in turn are warping the minds of millions of people all over the world.  I seriously don't know if I can listen to the Beatles anymore, knowing what I learned today and how much Crowley's writing influenced them.

Weird, very weird.  But I was so happy to not see the Moody Blues or Supertramp mentioned in any article or video.  Whew!

Eph. 6:12
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.