A MIND FOREVER VOYAGING THROUGH STRANGE SEAS OF THOUGHT, ALONE


This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.



The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Okay, this my first annual Holiday tip guide, which will probably be my last year I do Holiday tips, but I'll try to do a few between now and Christmas; is it still legal to mention Christmas in a blog?

Lots of people worry about the uberguberment coming along and taking away our guns.  Possible, not probable, but nothing in our uberguberment would surprize me anymore.

Now, lots of people like the idea of burying their guns and ammo, or a to go kit, which I think is a good idea, unless you live in a typical  suburban setting.  It wouldn't take the uberguberment jack booted thugs long to run a metal detector over your property.  Now, you can be clever and if you have a shed, or are planning to get a shed, you can always bury it under the shed.

If you are a farmer or have lots of land, this is an easy and smart thing to do, bury a to go kit in four or five places around your property and then hope you don't forget where you buried them.

But for most of us, burying stuff is just not a reliable plan and so the question arises what to do with your guns.  And so this year's holiday guide will tell you what to do.

Go to Ace Hardware, your helpful hardware man, and buy the supplies to patch a hole in the wall and paint.  Then walk about your home or apartment, pick an inside wall with a picture hanging on the wall, take down the painting and punch yourself a nice size hole in the wall.  Once inside, place a shelf to stack some boxes of ammo and hang a couple of handguns on hooks.  Make sure they are well oiled and you can even place them in a plastic bag.  Also, don't preload magazines, you can wreck the springs, which is why I like revolvers.  Okay, then, place the patch over the hole, spread on the crap, scrape it down nice and smooth, then let it dry.  Sand it to make it real smooth, and now you can paint your wall, re hang the picture, and you can hide several guns and thousands of rounds of ammo in your apartment.

When the uberguberment shows up, let them take your pistol or shotgun you keep for security.  Act upset.  Wait patiently in case they come back a few days later.

The patch is really easy to punch your hand through, by the way, so it takes seconds to get to your guns in an emergency, like the uberguberment brown shirt is looking at your daughter or dog immorally.

By the way, anyone ever try using sour cream or vanilla in Thanksgiving stuffing?  I see some major experimenting tomorrow.  I think I'll mix up a huge bowl or two of stuffing then separate a little and play with different tastes before I make the big batch.

Oh, how about blue cheese in the stuffing?

Well, there is your first holiday tip of the year.  You can store more than just guns and ammo in your walls, by the way, I suggest hiding a Bible in every storage area and to go kit.  And look at the bright side, if you can get to ACE tomorrow to get all the supplies, then swing by the gun store to pick up some ammo and new guns,  when your wife gets up and 2am to stand in line for hours to save ten bucks on some Xmas present on Zombie Friday, you can hide all your new guns and ammo you bought tomorrow and all she will know when she gets home is you painted the walls!

Man, I really think that blue cheese in the stuffing is a winning idea.

For my next holiday tip, I will show you how to buy a surplus working canon and put it in your back yard, disguised as a children's slide.

Just take a pebble and cast it to the sea,
Then watch the ripples that unfold into me,
My face spill so gently into your eyes,
Disturbing the waters of our lives.

Shread of our memories are lying on the grass;
Wounded words of laughter are graveyards of the past.
Photographs are grey and torn, scattered in the fields
Letters of your mem'ries are not real.

Sadness on your shoulders like a wornout overcoat
In pockets creased and tattered hang the rags of your hope.
The daybreak is your midnight; the colours have all died.
Disturbing the waters of our lives,
Of our lives.



Emerson Lake and Palmer