This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Thursday, November 7, 2013


A couple of my long term readers who began reading my blog back when it was the Barkley Pontree thing and mostly about my dad will remember I often went off on tangents and one of my favorite was the idiocy of this whole 'cloud' computing model.  The whole point of the Apple II and the IBM PC was to take the power of computing and put it on your desktop; no longer be beholden to the strange computer aliens that ran the large computer rooms.

And after spending 30 years and a gazillion dollars making the Jobs and other rich, what are they doing?  Going back to the centralized computer model called the 'cloud' where all your stuff is stored on server farms run by Apple, Google, the Federal Government, etc.

Here, in a nutshell, is the point.  If the internet goes down tomorrow, all the movies, music, TV shows, youtube things, documents, spreadsheets, etc I've got on my hard drive, I will still have total access to with the internet down.  If you fall for the cloud model and the internet is down, you got squat.  Nada.  Nothing.  No tunes, no movies, no papers, no addresses, phone numbers, nothing.

When did I first rant about that?  2011?  So imagine my surprise today when some 250 buck an hour computer security consultant writes a column that is getting big hits about the dangers of 'cloud' computing.  Two years later.

The frustrations of the unknown blogger everywhere.  We think, we write, and no one reads.  Then a year or two later, someone gets paid big bucks to write and regurgitates just about everything you'd said.  Maybe that is the lot of the life of the unknown blogger, to feed the collective unconsciousness information.

I do remember about 20 years ago the study where they proved a collective unconsciousness using the Times Crossword puzzle.  I won't go through the whole thing again, but  it was a very well designed DOE and basically it was almost impossible to solve the whole puzzle the night before it came out, the morning it came out the solve rate moves to somewhere between 30 and 50% and the evening after it's release the solve rate jumped to over 80%:  in other words, it became easier to solve as more people in the world solved it.

And perhaps that is our role in life for the unknown bloggers, to feed the collective so the capped tooth toupee's bleached blonde world can finally catch on, think it's their original thought, and write columns and go on talk shows.

Geez, I'm starting to sound like Lame Cherry claiming Limbaugh reads her stuff and steals it all.  I quit reading Lame Cherry when I found out she listened to Rush Limbaugh.  She seemed, deeper than that.

By the way, while I'm feeling sorry for myself, my softcover book has been out for several days and sold, let me check for an up to date figure, zero.  However, some other guy who apparently was a abusing kids released his book in September with the same name Folie A Deux and he is outselling me big time.  Imagine how that makes me feel, that some guy whopping kids names his book the same as mine about Alzheimer's and taking care of things and he outsells me.

More people want to read about a guy abusing kids than a guy taking care of his dad and you wonder why I am losing the battle with bitterness.

But at least this time, the softcover release, I didn't have delusions of having a best seller, I expected it to not sell any copies.  But I will buy some copies and give them as Xmas presents but the truth is, it is just so cool to have a book in the one bookcase I haven't sold and see a book with my name on it.  It is mine, it may be the crappiest magus opus in the history of mankind, but it's mine.

While in the mood, I'm getting tired of hearing from former football players whining about their early onset of dementia and how unfair it is.  Look, I certainly can relate, I'm sorry Tony D is having issues, I'm sorry any of them are, but what did you expect to happen?  You greased through college courses for free playing football, you made millions playing pro football, you made millions in endorsements because you played football and you actually thought all that violence against your body was free?  Crap,  I knew in my 20's that my recreational skiing was going to cause me some issues in old age, I knew the powerlifting was going to cause some regrets when I was 60.  I got a buddy who is 55 and never was an athlete and has two artificial hips and an artificial knee because of something he was born with.

There are millions of people suffering from mental and physical aliments as bad and worse as any football player and these people never asked for it, never got to ride at the front of the parade, never had the red carpet thrown out in front of them as they walked.  As a two time caretaker, I understand what you are facing, but you are not special anymore, you are just like the rest of us who have to go through the same thing.

TD was a great running back for Pitt and then the Dallas Cowboys.  One of the best.  But running with large men tackling you, ramming you, landing on you, was going to produce a bad body in old age.  As they guy said in "Somebody Up There Likes Me", you can order anything you like, but before you leave, you gotta pay the bill.

Thanks for reading but if you didn't, don't worry, it will be on O'Reilly or some other show/web site in a year or two.

Nothing's good the news is bad
The heat goes on and it drives you mad
Scornful thoughts that fly your way
You should turn away 'cause there's nothing more to say

You gave the best you had to give
You only have one life to live
You fought so hard you were a slave
After all you gave there was nothing left to save

Alan Parsons