This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Thursday, October 24, 2013


Well, besides a phone interview in 30 minutes, I found something to do today.  Story from Drudge linked to deadline.com:

Also sold through ABC Studios is The Alzheimer’s Project, a single-camera script at ABC based on an original idea by Aaron Kaplan of Kapital Entertainment. Written by Sam Sklaver (HBO’s Bored To Death), it’s a comedy about a father with early onset Alzheimer’s trying to reconnect with his family. Kaplan is executive producing, with Sklaver co-exec producing. Sklaver, repped by WME and Wetdog Entertainment, is also developing Jenny’s an Idiot for Hulu.

Yes, they are going to make a TV show about Alzheimer's.  A sitcom comedy, which as near as I remember is pretty much an oxymoron since the 1990's.

So some hot producer is going to make a joke about a dad with Alzheimer's.  Think he should read my book, you know, the one that has sold a massive 20 copies?  The book is full of hilarious stories about bowel obstruction removal, catheter being pulled, doing laundry all day, walks, drives, upsets, feedings.  I mean there are three years worth of stories for Aaron Kaplan to turn into comedy for the American idiot  to waste their lives in front of night after night.

This is my argument with God.  Some moron named Kaplan just got paid millions of dollars to develop a TV program making fun of people with Alzheimer's and some poor sap who takes care of his dad for the last years of his life can barely sell 20 books.  Satan out -markets God.  In a just world, my book would sell hundreds of thousands and Aaron would be working in an Alzheimer's wing for even thinking it was funny.  Are there funny moments in caring for someone, of course, but they are islands in a sea of sadness.

But then I thought, hey, why stop there?  Look at all the diseases we could have for sitcoms.  How about a story of men dying from AIDS called Gay's Anatomy?  Or a country western singer with Parkinson's Disease called Shake, Rattle, and Roll?  How about a hilarious comedy about child molestation called Uncle Aaron's Secret Room!  Think of the laughs!

God forgive me, but there are mornings I awake and am disappointed to find out DC to NY or California were not washed away into the sea during the night.  I'm sorry, but I cannot see a revival in this country happening.  We are too far gone.  Satan has won the US for good until God slaps his hands.

I have stopped listening to much of talk internet radio, the constant bombardment of crashing and burning weighs on a man.  It's not that I think they are wrong, though many have been predicting 'this is it' for so long it's hard to listen to them anymore.

Been wrapping my mind around a question a pastor asked recently, "how do you know if a man is a Christian" and the truth is, you can't.  In the end, we really don't know what is in a pastors heart or head, what is in any person's heart or head.  Which is why I hate that "if I die tomorrow I know I am going to heaven, ask me how" I hear so often.  I believe in God, I believe in Jesus walking the earth, dying on the cross for my sins, rising from the dead.  But am I truly saved?

I know many who blast people like Steve Quayle, but I like listening to the guy.  I wish my pastor preached that way.  Is he saved or just a marketing guru?  In the end, who can say other than God?  But he makes me think and he has the guts to say what most pastors don't, so he's okay in my book.  Unlike Aaron Kaplan.  At least Steve Quayle won't be making Alzheimer's jokes.

I think I will spend the afternoon working on getting my book published in softcover.  I'll use the Amazon partner which means I won't make much per book, but it might help some sales.  Dreams die hard.

I might have to get a TV now, just so I can put a 357 round through the damn thing when this stupid show airs.  Nah, not enough satisfaction.  Sledgehammer.  Definitely a sledgehammer.

Darkened rolling figures move through prisms of no color.
Hand in hand, they walk the night,
But never know each other.
Passioned pastel neon lights light up the jeweled trav'ler
Who, lost in scenes of smoke filled dreams,
Find questions, but no answers.

The Monkees