This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Monday, September 16, 2013


It is such and odd existence.

Fort Collins had some flooding but for the most part came through the flooding with little damage and I don't think there were any deaths in Fort Collins, though with all the missing that might change.  And, of course, we had a couple of nominees for the Nobel Prize for Being an Idiot Who Should Never Reproduce who decided it would be cool to kayak down the wild running river through Fort Collins.  Unfortunately, it appears they made it, thus eliminating them from also receiving the Darwin Award.

Yet, west of here, south of here, and east of here a biblical like flood is destroying the lives, homes, businesses, and dreams of millions of people.  Ten minutes south is Loveland and it saw large portions flooded, thirty minutes Longmont is destroyed.  Many people with homes in the canyons are missing, dead, their homes now residing somewhere in eastern Colorado.

In every life a little rain must fall, and sometimes it will wash everything in your life away.  Wildfires and you survive those only to have your home, pets, belongings, and family washed away.  Nothing says ouch like a three ton boulder coming down with the water and smashing through your home.

Crap, I can't find the note of the photographers names, these are from the Denver Post, I'll look them up and post them later.

So how do you prep for everything being washed away in a heartbeat?

Taking care of my dad, I came to the realization that in some ways, our free choice is somewhat an illusion.  I made the simile that life is like getting on I 80 in Chicago and going west.  We think we have free choice, we choose where to get gas, where to eat, when to eat, where to stay the night, but at another level, once you choose to get on that highway, you are destined, no matter what you choose, to end up in Lincoln, Cheyenne, Salt Lake City, and you will end up in San Francisco, there is nothing you can do to change the inevitable of life.

So you prep with years of food, ammo, water, and then the above happens.  Your fortress is washed away, your supplies are washed away.  And, you may be washed away and all the prepping and pushups in the world could not save you.  Wrong place, wrong time.

If a large meteor hits the earth, will you survive?  Not if it lands on your town, you won't.  It is wise to prepare, but it's also wise to accept there are some things totally out of your control, bearing down on you, and there is nothing you can do when it gets here.

In the end, there really is only one way to prep, and that is prep your soul.  You don't know when the dam will break, when the truck won't, when the fire or water comes.  I was lucky I lived through my late teens, twenties, and thirties when I did not believe in God.  Now I do.  Am I a good Christian, I don't think so, but then I'm not really sure what a 'good' Christian is anymore.  I hope I am right with God.  I don't buy into the "if I die today I know I will go to heaven, ask me how" philosophy.  Those Biblical saying of Jesus about narrow versus wide roads, "I do not know you" type lines scare the heck out of me.  I know God loves us, but I also know the line "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom".   So I fear God and fear for my soul.

I guess that is really the first line of prepping, being right with God.  If He wants you to survive a calamity, you will; if He doesn't, all the bullets and food in the world won't save you.

The second thing will be skills; can you survive without your Berkey, eFoods, and crank radio?  Can you build a hut, forage for food, catch fish, know what roots to eat?  I'm not sure I do.  Finally, what can you carry on your back?  That may be all you get, so you better figure out how to pack a backpack and duffel because that may be all you get out with.

So many people suffering, the illusions of their lives meeting the realities of life.  Here in Colorado, at the Navy shipyards in DC.

Well, on another note my imaginary readers, wish me luck.  This Thursday I am scheduled to appear for an hour on Hagmann and Hagmann to discuss my book and taking care of my dad for four years as he died from Alzheimer's.  I am really looking forward to being on their show, I listen to it all the time, and really need a great showing so lots and lots of listeners rush off to Amazon to buy my book.  This is a make it or break it moment for me, please keep me in your prayers, as well as all those people washed away in the flood, their families, the rescuers, and Christians in Syria and Egypt.

And I'm gonna go there free

Like the fool I am and I'll always be
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
They can change their minds but they can't change me
I've got a dream, I've got a dream

And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud

Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

Jim Croce