This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Thursday, September 5, 2013


Been doing some pondering of late on things.  Or is that on things of late?

Big thing now in tech is the virtual server.  It's a server, except it's not really a server.  Let me explain.  You have a server with 20 1TB hard drives. It's setup as a RAID, so when you write a file to the server, it splits it up into 5 segments, and then writes one segment on five drives then repeats the process on five other drives so it is a mirror backup and then if a drive fails, you still can have access to the file.

Now what the tech world does is takes that big ol' server with 20 1TB hard drives and it creates virtual servers on drives.  So it looks like you have  a server called Accounting and a server called Operations, etc, but they are really just virtual servers on the one.  Then if you need to add a new server for some department, you just copy over a raw clean virtual server to a new spot and give it the name Human Resources and bingo, you just installed a new server.

It's kind of like if you have a Mac and run Parallels or some other program to create a virtual hard drive on your Mac to install Windows so you can run something like Minitab.

It looks real, but it's not real.  Which brings us to math.

Most people don't understand math and thus are completely helpless when talking to people who do understand math.  Get a good math person a white board and a crowd of non mathematical people and he/she will be able to convince the room of just about anything with math.  Like with Obamacare, soon your health insurance will cost you less than your cell phone bill.  Kind of makes you wonder why your phone bill is about to go up by a factor of 10 or more.

But, math models are not real.  Math is the effect of the world, not the cause or explanation, to an extent.

Newton watched the apple, the fruit, not the computer, fall from the tree.  He started thinking, studying, running experiments.  What he saw was an apple fall to earth.  He then tested apples, oranges, the dog, and other objects, measuring the distance they fell, the time it took to fall, and one thing led to another and he created this entire mathematical model to explain gravity.  The math didn't exist before the apple fell, it was made up in the mind of a man to explain the apple falling.  And other people tested his math with their own apples and dogs and got the same answer so it was called truth.

It's not truth.  Math is a virtual synthetic reality.  It is not reality.

Now I know we can use math to create cool toys, devices, and all sorts of drugs that save lives.  I'm not suggesting math doesn't explain some things, I'm not suggesting math doesn't help us create buildings and computers and cars, etc.  Just watch.

We create this mathematical model to explain our observable universe around us.  Since we created the math to match what we can see, obviously, it works!  Then, we see something else we never saw before, and it doesn't match the model.  What is the problem?

Now, normal common sense people would immediately recognize, there is something wrong in the math model.  The whole thing might not be wrong, just parts, or maybe the whole model is wrong on a macro scale but works on a micro scale of what we knew.

But that is the 'wrong' answer.  The math model is not wrong, there must be something else we still don't see or understand.  Okay, that might be a reasonable alternative explanation.  Unfortunately, the scientist won't stop there, now they start speculating what that something else must be in order to cause the model to not work that would then explain everything in the model.  Are you following?

Back in the 1930's, we first realized spiral galaxies didn't spin the way our math models said they would.  The stuff near the center didn't spin faster around the center than the distant stuff.  They went around at the same speed, like blades on a fan.  So, the guy suggested there was massive amounts of invisible matter in the galaxy that would explain, in the math model, why is spun that way.

Didn't you learn in school science that 90 something percent of the mass of the universe is missing?  I remember learning that, it works in science, but don't try to convince your banker there are millions missing from your checking account.  The point is, the claim that the mass is missing is not a reality of mass missing, it is missing in making the math model work!   Well, they found it on the blackboard, it's called dark matter.  They gave it properties of all kinds, can't see it, really small, travels through matter, going through me as I type, right through me through the earth.  And it all looks so neat on the black board or white board but it is not real.  It's made up.  All so the model stands.

It is virtual reality of a synthetic universe created on a space of reality.

See, you don't really 'prove' a scientific theory; you either disprove it or are not able to disprove it.  How do you disprove the existence of something made up in someone's mind that is designed to not be provable?   That is why science decided they will not include God as a cause, because they determined you couldn't disprove God; then they created al these 'scientific' things that are nothing more than made up in some math equation that are more impossible to disprove than the God they claim doesn't exist because He can't be disproved.  Yea, the sentence does make sense, sort of.

I like math, well, some math.  Never could get my mind around geometry.  Algebra, trig, calculus, and stats I was fine, sometimes even really good at it.  Geometry, greek to me.  But it kind of blew my mind when I understood what math really was, nothing more than some virtual reality, made up in the mind of mankind, to explain the observable universe.  Then, as new stuff is 'observable', and the model falls apart, rather than just junking the model and starting over, they start making up stuff to keep the model alive.

That is why you can read or find information on some really interesting science, like plasma, the electric universe, or that constants like light are not really constants.  It is funny, the Norwegians, Swedish, and Russian scientists are much more into the study of the electric universe than the rest of Europe or the US, because they live under the electric sky; plus Lord Kelvin of England is some sort of deity of science in England or something and he blah blahhed the electric universe for this made up model.

Look at our modern world and finance.  Do you really believe the numbers?  Do you really think SAP's numbers for inventory for your 2000 stores is what is actually in the 2000 stores?  Do you really think the numbers on the earnings report are true, oh former Enron employee?  It's all just a virtual synthetic reality.

Now if I could just convince my bank that my checkbook balance wasn't real, was just an illusion….

Dear Mister Fantasy play us a tune
Something to make us all happy
Do anything take us out of this gloom
Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy
You are the one who can make us all laugh
But doing that you break out in tears
Please don't be sad if it was a straight mind you had
We wouldn't have known you all these years
But doing that you break out in tears
Please don't be sad if it was a straight mind you had
We wouldn't have known you all these years