This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Friday, September 13, 2013


Wow, must have sent nearly 30 resumes out today for jobs.  Job hunting is sort of like dating except with job hunting, I at least am pretty sure I'll get screwed.

Water water everywhere, and not a dwop to dwink.  I need to investigate the companies that will be rebuilding all the roads that have been washed out from the foot of rain that has fallen between Colorado Springs and Cheyenne.  Fort Collins is pretty well off compared to most of the Front Range cities.  Boulder and Golden are totally flooded out and the road, RT 34, between Loveland and Estes Park is gone.  So is the road between Boulder and Estes Park.  I don't know what that means for Estes Park, but gas and food supplies might be a problem for them soon.  There are other roads westbound but most of them close for the winter due to snow, which should begin up there in about a week.

But we do have some serious road closures, the Platte is HUGE.  You pretty much can't get from Prospect Road north to Mulberry, even if you head downtown to get on Mulberry it is washed out at the river.  So north Fort Collins is cutoff and, this is crazy, you can't even go east to get on I25 because it is shut down between Denver and Cheyenne WY from multiple washouts.  And 287 is washed out between here and Denver which just made me realize maybe I should go shopping today before everyone else figures out deliveries are cut off here to for the most part.

No worries today, you would not believe the crowds of people walking towards the Platte, it looks like what you see for a 4th of July fireworks display or outdoor concert.  Just all walking across streets against lights, between cars, all just without a care in the world, carrying lunch baskets,  that all of this is some sort of entertainment.

I, on the other hand, am packing a go bag and putting a few weeks of emergency food in the trunk of the car, along with water filters, and then putting a go bag in the trunk and a second one by the front door with guns and ammo; just in case.  The weather pattern is really bizarre right now.  We are getting an extended influx of moisture both from the pacific monsoon flow but also the gulf due to a of high pressure system to our east and a low to our west.  The high spins clockwise, the low counter clockwise, so it's creating a channel of moisture from two oceans coming up and meeting in Colorado.  We've had almost 10 inches in Fort Collins in the last 5 days.  September average is 1.25 inches.

The mountains, this side of the divide, have seen 14 to 20.  And remember all those wild fires?  Well, that means it is all burnt trees, no grass, so the mud just flows downhill taking all the dead trees, rocks and boulders with it, which is why there are no roads.

What is worrying some right now are the reservoirs.  They are filled to capacity.  Horsetooth Reservoir, just west and uphill from Fort Collins, has two man made dams, one just west of the CSU football stadium.   I can't tell you how many times when I'd take my dad for car rides and we would pass that section I would comment that if that ever broke, Fort Collins would be wiped off the map if the lake were filled.  Well, it is over filled now.  Could be absolute apocalyptic if that dam broke open, it would wipe out all of Fort Collins and even if you suspected, there is only one road available to go east, Harmony Ave.

Oh well, certainly would eliminate my concerns for work or lousy lousy book sales.  Next week, if we are still here, I'll go to the government employment thing and find out what construction companies are going to be doing all this rebuilding and try to get a job with a road crew.  Hard work, fresh air; sounds like some sort of purgatory.

It's funny how a guy can totally ignore something on the internet and then one day drop by and fall instantly in love.  No, I'm not talking about Katie Nolan, well, that would probably count too if I wasn't old enough to be her grandfather.  I could even overlook her being a Bruin's fan.  Anyways, I'm talking about youtube.  I installed Firefox and it has some additional thingy's you can install so you can download to your hard drive any youtube movie.  Then, you can convert it to an mp3 to listen to on your iPhone.  So I got a compete collection of Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Chuck Missler,  Billy Graham sermons dating back to the 1950's, philosophy lectures, NLP Training, and all sorts of stuff!  It's like a university on my iPhone!  It's a brain carousel!

I had the opportunity to watch the third and final season of Luther, the BBC mystery series.  Really great series, not quite Morse, but I'd rank it higher than Lynley or even Foyle's War.  Okay, and he drives an old silver Volvo like me.  And the first three episodes of the series, there are only four episodes in the season, were really great.  Even a key main character getting killed.

But the last episode was a total friggin' letdown.   It brought back the psycho chick, which was great, but wasted her in the show for the most part, except for the great line "Most little girls want a pony, I wanted to be a widow".  Bad conclusion to the situation, I didn't like the ending.  And when a person gets shot in the leg, right in the thigh above the knee, with a big ass handgun, you can't just wrap your tie around it and spend the next half hour of the show running up and down stairs, walking a mile, etc.  Please.  I think every cop drama or adventurous movie/show should have a writer who has actually been shot on staff to stand up and say "are you nuts?".  First BBC mystery I ever saw where I could actually say the final episode sucked.  I hope the final episode of Sherlock is better.  Too bad for such a great series.  Even got the theme song now on my phone for incoming.

It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm
We can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable
Oh well, the devil makes us sin
But we like it when we're spinning in his grip

Love is like a sin, my love
For the ones that feel it the most
Look at her with her eyes like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you again

Massive Attack (Paradise Circus, the theme to Luther)