This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Monday, August 26, 2013


Sorry my few imaginary readers for not posting of late, besides having my 7 year flu, I also answered the question of what happens when an avocado, a sharp knife, and six degrees of stupid all meet.  Yes, I only get the flu about every 6 or 7 years.  But when I get it, I get it bad.  I can trace it back with two walking pneumonia episodes, two high fevers, and two bouts of laryngitis which I always think is so cool to not be able to talk.

Funny, most people who knew me at those times were pretty happy with it also.

As for the stupid, I put a sharp knife almost completely through the middle finger on my left hand.  Damn, did it hurt, I almost passed out twice at the sink.  I eventually got one of the left over unused pee pads I still had from my taking care of dad days and wrapped it around the finger to absorb the blood, taped it up, and drove myself to the emergency room.

I'm a tough old fart.  Stupid, but tough.

The good news is, no bone or ligaments were damaged, the bad news is I severed some nerves.  Right now, besides stitches, I have no feeling at the tip of the finger or down one side of the finger, which makes typing kind of strange; I'm not really sure if I'm hitting the key or hitting the right key with that finger.

But the nice thing is they signed me up for a special Colorado program for stupid people who impale themselves with knives called the Colorado Indigent Program.  Ain't that nice.  I am now officially an indigent.  A little over 5 years ago I made nearly 90k a year.  Ten years ago I had my own business and made 100 bucks an hour.

Today, I'm an indigent.  Don't drink, don't take drugs, don't gamble.  And I'm indigent.  In America. All because I did the right thing.

Do you know how strange the world is today?  I am relatively a conservative guy though some of my views are not in lockstep with typical conservatives.  I always thought those free trade agreements were a really bad idea; all I had to do is consider Limbaugh and Gore both liked it to know it was a really bad thing even if I wasn't sure why.  And I was right.  Limbaugh and Gore are gazillionaires and I'm indigent.  Is the real secret to wealth in america being wrong all the time?  Lots of evidence for that concept.

Now, I find myself realizing there is a synthesis going on between right wing labelled people and groups like the ACLU.  I pulled this map from the ACLU website:

Do you know what this map is?  Well, some of you might say it's about 100 miles within coast line of the US, and that would be right; but wrong.  Some of you might know that 2/3 of the US population lives within this browned area and that also would be right, but wrong.  What the brown area represents is 'The Constitution Free Zone'.

Yep, in this area, most of the constitutional protections are no longer in effect.  And this happened during the Bush years folks.  Here is a link to the 'fact sheet'"

You can also find this information on right wingy sites like infowars, but then that is not really fair to label them as right wing.  But the point is, most americans were clueless to these new rules.  Anyone at anytime in these brown zones can be searched by any law enforcement officer with no evidence or whatever.  Your papers please.

And I ponder the fact that slowly but surely this nation is nothing more than some corporate state, much like the original Rollerball suggested was headed our way.  I still just shake my head in sadness at the absolute theft that occurred on the american people in 2008.  The government cut a deal with the big banks in the late 90's that made the banks loan money to homebuyers that should not have gotten loans.  In return, Glass Stegall was eliminated.  So millions who got loans they couldn't pay were given loans, the big banks made horrible high risk investments, and lo and behold, one day it all fell apart.

And it was all planned to happen that way.  Yes, planned, because look what the results were.  All those little local banks were taken over and put in control of the big banks.  Assets now became part of the big banks, the loses were paid for by american taxpayers. The big boys set this thing up from the beginning.

I love shopping at this second hand bookstore in Fort Collins.  I love buying books there because I know no large corporation is going to make a cent.  I refuse to shop at WalMart anymore, I refuse to shop at Walgreens.  I am sick and tired of this corporate government complex that exists as an excuse for America today.

There is an old saying by some Roman poet that goes "give them bread and circuses and they will never revolt".  Does that sum up America today or what?  I am amazed at just how much the American male has sold out his manhood; the average french chick could not only kick the butt of most american males today, she'd have more body hair too.

We could have done something, still could but we won't.  We could cancel and move all of our bank accounts, brokerage accounts, etc from Goldman, Wells, and all the other big banks and move them to smaller banks and firms.  How anyone would trust Goldman or Wells with even a dollar of your savings is beyond me.  But you could pull your accounts from these big banks and brokers.  You could quit shopping at WalMart, Walgreens, or any other nationwide chains and shop a local shops.  Yea, it might cost you a little more out of your pocket, but think of the jobs you would be saving, the small business owner that will be open next year because you shop there.

I wonder if history will find the obscure bloggers who warned and wrote about what was coming down the pike and how they were ignored.  Nah, the victors write the history, so Goldman and Wells will look like the heroes of the new world order.

If I had the time
To re-live my life
I don't think I'd care
To change a thing
As long as I find
Just a little peace of mind
I can dream and laugh
And I can sing

I can have my fun
With the silver stars
I can watch the sun
Fall in the sea
And if it rains
I will smile just the same
For the rain
Will make the flowers sing

I know how it is to feel sad
I know how it is when things go bad
But I'm sure that
I have found the way
I'm happy here and here I'll stay
Here I'll stay

Uriah Heep