This is my second blog.

My first blog chronicled my experiences over three years caring for my dad as he lived through and finally died from Alzheimer's. That is the book that is for sale.

This second blog kind of chronicles of life, what it is like to start your life over in your late 50's. After caretaking, you are damaged, file bankruptcy, and the world doesn't care what you did. After 8 months of unemployment, you wake each day knowing the world doesn't want you. Finally you do find a job, 5 weeks before homelessness, but doing what you did 30 years ago and getting paid what you did 30 years ago. So this is starting over.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Friday, July 26, 2013


I guess I'm having a bit of a problem finding the groove for this new blog.  The Barkley blog had a purpose, discussing my dad dying of Alzheimer's and what it is like for him and for me taking care of him.

But AfterTheCaretaker is drifting around and I need to bring it into a focus with the occasional tangents into other areas and I think the focus will be Theology.  Good bye most of my imaginary readers!

Been doing some thinking along those lines of late and that is what I want to discuss tonite.  I can relate to agnostics, having been one for so many years in my life.  There are two types, those that know there is something, read everything they can, experiment, but eventually give up because they can't figure it out or continue through life trying to figure it out.  Then there are those that don't try; just watch sports, endless TV, drink, eat, and wonder why they ended up unhappy, ill, and miserable, though they do their best to make the miserableness with diversions.  I fell sorry for the latter group, they end up with a life of nothing to show but endless diversions.

Though they do tend to die with lots of cool toys.

Atheists are another story entirely.  The chorus that religion is just some make up thing to try to describe the world around us and they never realize that as atheists, they to have a god they worship and that god is nothing but made up in the mind of man.

Mathematics.  The God of Atheists.  And they treat this god of theirs just like the Catholic Church use to treat the Bible or the Rabbi the OT; something special that only elite types can understand.

Problem one is pondering the universe.  The problem is we are like fish in the aquarium, we suspect an outside world but can never fully see it or understand it.  When we talk of beginnings, it's almost impossible for most to grasp what we are talking about.   Most people think of the universe as existing, just empty space, no matter, no energy, nothing. What most don't or can't grasp is space itself did not exist either, that empty space is just as much a something as matter or energy are something.  It's like a blown up balloon, and inside that balloon is the matter that makes up stars and planets, the energy produced, and the space, but when you let the air out, not only does all the matter and energy leave the balloon, the space taken up disappears and the balloon itself disappears.

And what a scientists does is start writing complicated math equations on the board that the average person cannot comprehend.  It's not the addition/subtraction or the multiplication/division, it's the symbols; sigma, lambdas, sums, 'e', and other things that loose the average person.  But we don't want to appear stupid, so we nod our heads like we understand when the only thing we've understood in the last 20 minutes was lambda because that was the name of the frat in Revenge of the Nerds.

So said scientist can use all that math to prove whatever theoretical theory they want including the rotation of the earth is caused by dwarfs in a hollow earth running around in circles and even though we know there are no dwarfs we can't argue because we don't understand the math.  And when we leave the auditorium, we see a sign that says 'Wet Paint' and we just have to touch the rail or bench because that, we can understand.

But what most never realize is all the math is just made up in the minds of men.  We made up the math to fit what we observed.  The math did not exist prior to the universe, it did not exist prior to man.  It is made up by man and they make the rules as they go along.  For example, when Newton came up with calculus, he had a problem because the current man made up rules of math and science said change could not happen outside of time; so in order for calculus to be accepted, Newton had to create a new law called The Law of Instantaneous Change that said change can happen outside of time.  New made up law, new made up math system.

He made up the math, and the rules, so it fit what we observed.  And since most of us don't understand high level math, we just assume the math came first.  But with math, scientists can explain everything because as new things are found, they just simply change the rules.

We use to think that everything in the universe, matter, energy, space, etc were all compacted in this incredibly dense ball and the ball exploded and ever atom in the universe came from that little ball.  They could prove it mathematically.

New information came in and now the theory is that there was nothing.  No matter, no energy, no space, nothing, pure nothing including no word for nothing.  And then it exploded.  They claim now there were certain forces, like nuclear, that caused nothing to explode and in the initial moments of the birth of the universe no natural laws, which are also made up by man, but things moved faster than light and on and on and on.  And they can fill up entire buildings with the math calculations on white boards to show how this all worked.

Except it is all made up in the mind of the scientists.  Dark matter, cosmic strings, dark energy are all made up; there is not one iota of evidence other than math for any of those things.  But they mock Christians claiming it's all just from the imagination of man to explain the unexplainable.

Science seeks to explain the observable universe but what has been lost in science, as well as philosophy, is while they define the box they can work in, they eventually denied there could be anything other than the box they make up in the first place.  This is a recent development over the last 300 years, prior to that most scientists were also theologians.  Newton spent a large part of his life trying to work out the end of days based on the Bible.  Today any scientist that even did that for a hobby would lose funding and professorship at most universities.

But what science really does is similar to a car suddenly appearing out of nothing and then someone writes up the schematics and engineering diagrams to explain the car.

And the really funny thing is now science is up against those limits on the box and have come up with this new theory of infinite parallel universes.  So now they have instead of one box, infinite number of boxes but we can only see the one box we are in but they insist those other boxes exist and have even created new mathematical models to prove what can't be seen, measured, observed, or replicated exists.  But that is not faith to think there are other boxes, it's math.

If anyone is still reading, don't misunderstand.  I am not denying the benefits of math, of science, of experimentation.  I am simply pointing out that science and atheists have made Math their God and rewritten the opening of Genesis to read:  "In the beginning, there was nothing.  Then nothing exploded into everything and from the flames of the beginning, math and all natural laws were born."

Science doesn't 'discover' natural laws, they make them up.

If I were a swan, I'd be gone.
If I were a train, I'd be late.
And if I were a good man, I'd talk with you more often than I do.

If I were to sleep, I could dream.
If I were afraid, I could hide.
If I go insane, please don't put your wires in my brain.

If I were the moon, I'd be cool.
If I were a book, I would bend for you.
If I were a good man, I'd understand the spaces between friends.

If I were alone, I would cry.
And if I were with you, I'd be home and dry.
And if I go insane,
And they lock me away, will you still let me join in the game?

Pink Floyd